Sex in Space

A bit about ‘Thighs Wide Shut’: “When Emma hits her quarter-life crisis and moves back to the city where she went to college, she finds herself neighbours with the boy whose heart she broke five years earlier in this heartfelt and witty second-chance debut romcom for fans of Hannah Bonham-Young and Sex Education. Emma thought her late twenties couldn’t get more complicated after she quit her teaching job and moved across the country to figure out what comes next. Her new life in Boston is filled with more than enough to worry about: a basement apartment full of disorganized boxes, a resistance to finding love, a medical condition, vaginismus, that holds her back from putting herself out there, and on top of it all she hears a familiar voice from the apartment above . . . Harrison.” In this episode of the podcast, we were thrilled to be able to chat with author Hayley Fleming about her recent book, ‘Thighs Wide Shut’. It’s fun, it’s full of humour and follows a main character who has a medical condition that is often not spoken about – vaginismus. We chatted with Hayley about: The real-life inspiration behind Thighs Wide Shut and bringing vaginismus into contemporary rom-coms Why sex education often fails us when it comes to helping us understand our bodies Tips on how to advocate for yourself at a gynaecologist appointment (or in any medical setting for that matter!) Find Hayley at her website: https://hayleyfleming.com/ Check out her books here: https://hayleyfleming.com/books Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 01:32: - What is vaginismus? 02:18 – Hayley's experience with vaginismus. 05:41 – Advocating for yourself in medical settings. 07:12 – The physical and mental aspect of vaginismus. 10:34 – Why this book matters. 13:32 – How to support someone with vaginismus. 15:11 – Why we need to rethink our definition of sex. 18:13 – How can sex ed impact vaginismus? 21:55 – How writing this character was healing for Hayley. 24:22 – Why you should read this book whether you have vaginismus, or not. 26:15 – What alternate word can we have for vaginismus? 28:01 – What Hayley wishes more people would know about vaginismus. 30:44 – Where can you find a copy of the book (and what you should know before you read it!). ----------------- Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspaceFor more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/

In this episode, Toshi had the opportunity to chat with Michelle Fischler all about early ejaculation. Michelle recently published the book ‘Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer’, a practical, shame-aware guide that understands early ejaculation as a nervous system pattern, not a personal failure. Together, Toshi and Michelle discussed:  The difference between early ejaculation and premature ejaculation The biological drive behind early ejaculation Why addressing shame before technique is so important How masturbation practices impact early ejaculation Tips for managing early ejaculation  How to talk about early ejaculation with a partner And more. Timestamps:00:00 – Intro  00:22 – Who is Michelle and what does she do?  01:26 – Why you should listen to this podcast 02:26 – What’s the reason Michelle wanted to write a book about early ejaculation? 07:18 – The way you feel about early ejaculation matters: here’s why 09:17 – Early ejaculation vs premature ejaculation: what’s the difference?  10:32 – The biological drive behind early ejaculation 12:03 – Why unlearning shame around early ejaculation has to happen before bringing in techniques 15:30 – Shame vs guilt: how are they different?  18:25 – Tips for turning down the volume on shame 21:45 – Advice if you’re avoiding sex because of early ejaculation 27:55 – How masturbation impacts early ejaculation 31:20 – How breathing exercises can help early ejaculation (and how to do them) 37:09 – What can cause early ejaculation?  39:05 – How to talk about early ejaculation with a partner  42:00 – Why you should be cuddling with your partner for six minutes after sex 44:42 – What does Michelle think of numbing creams? 47:09 – What you and a partner should know about early ejaculation  50:40 – Why the goal is not perfect control (and what the goal actually should be) 51:44 – Why has it taken so long for a book like this to be written?  55:48 – What people think of the book (and why you should grab a copy!) Check out Michelle here: https://www.michellefischler.ca/ Grab a copy of her book here: https://getsome.ca/coming-soon-book Read more about Michelle’s podcast here: https://getsome.ca/ Michelle Fischler, MSW, RSW, RP, is a Toronto-based Registered Psychotherapist, Registered Social Worker, ASTO-certified sex therapist and supervisor, author, speaker, and founder of GETSOME INC.  -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

Lillian Frances is a pop star, rock climber, and author of the cheeky guide "Finger Banging for Climber Boys". In this episode, Toshi spoke with Lillian all about how to talk about what you want in bed, advice for pre-hookup check-ins and sexy ways to set boundaries, as well as why you should know more about female anatomy if you want to have better sex.  Find more of Lillian (and her book) here. Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro  00:47 – What is finger banging for climber boys?  01:51 – Why this book is a trojan horse (in the best way) 03:22 – How asking questions makes you so much better in bed 07:23 – Why it’s important to talk about sex in your everyday life 12:12 – Asking for consent is sexy: here’s why 19:41 – Advice for a pre-hookup check-in 21:25 – The difference between opt in vs opt out consent (and why one leads to better sex) 27:18 – Try this if you want a fun, sexy way to set boundaries 30:33 – What you should know about the female anatomy to have better sex  33:39 – Why you should read Lillian’s book -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available here to download or buy.  Follow us here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTube For more info, find us on our website!

On this episode of the podcast, Toshi spoke with Sarah and Cam all about asexuality. Sarah (whose artist name is Vōx), is a musician and writer on Substack, and Cam is a creative producer, a curator and creator of time and space. We came across Sarah and Cam after reading an article in the Guardian written about their relationship and how they’ve embraced Sarah’s asexuality. Toshi had the opportunity to talk with them both about: What asexuality and compulsory heterosexuality is How Sarah came to understand she’s asexual What it was like for both Sarah and Cam to embrace Sarah’s asexuality Common misconceptions about what it means to be asexual How neurodivergence is connected to this conversation Thoughts on decoupling romance from sex And more. -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ You can check out Sarah’s Substack here: https://itsmevox.substack.com/

On this episode of the podcast, Toshi spoke with Kate Daly, one of England’s leading experts on divorce, separation relationships and family law reform. Kate is the co-founder of amicable, the leading online divorce services company, and the co-founder and host of ‘The Divorce Podcast’. Together they had a conversation about why we need to change the narrative around divorce, advice for anyone navigating a separation or divorce, why communication is key – and how to be better at it – and a practical guide to divorce without the drama.  Find amicable here.Check out Kate’s book here.Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro 01:00 – Kate Daly’s experience with divorce 05:06 – We need to change the narrative: divorce is not a failure 08:38 – Why it’s important to acknowledge the emotional journey behind divorce 13:24 – Advice for navigating a separation or divorce 19:11 – What can divorce teach us about ourselves, and relationships?  22:37 – Two different questions: is it over, and should I leave?  25:39 – Why maintaining your identity is key to relationship success 28:30 – Why communication is key when it comes to navigating a divorce amicably (and how to be better at it) 34:33 – A practical guide to divorce without the drama 42:40 – One thing you should know about starting over -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

On this episode of the podcast, Tim chatted with board certified urologist Dr. Amy Pearlman about all things men’s health, including the health of your penis. Dr. Pearlman specialises in male sexual and hormonal health, and is fellowship trained in male genitourinary reconstruction, male infertility, and prosthetics. Although she is trained as a surgeon, Dr. Pearlman’s primary mission is to educate people on the basics of their bodies, encourage healthy behaviours to optimise health and help people live their most authentic lives. Together, Tim and Dr. Pearlman spoke about:  Why we need a ‘Wellman’s visit’ at the doctor How testosterone impacts men’s health Her health tip for young men How much growth you can get from penile filler, and why men get it Advice for men looking to get penile filler And more.  You can find more of Dr. Amy here: https://pearlmanmds.com/amy-pearlman-md/ Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro. 00:55 – What does Dr Amy Pearlman do? 04:35 – Why we need a ‘Wellman’s visit’ at the doctor.  09:00 – How testosterone impacts men’s health. 16:09 – Why do men get penile enhancement?  24:18 – How much growth can you get from penile filler? 27:16 – What does a ‘normal’ penis look like – does it even exist?  31:36 – Why Dr Pearlman doesn’t start the conversation talking about penis size.  33:34 – Does filler show up more when the penis is flaccid or erect?  39:39 – Advice for men looking to get penile filler. 42:40 – What makes Dr Pearlman’s practice different.  46:59 – Where to find more about Dr Pearlman. -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/