Sex, Love & Elephants with Dr. Cheryl

I don't know if you've ever noticed, but relationships are a hard gig! Love, sexuality, long term passion… These are not easy. They don't come naturally all the time, but they do tend to come naturally when we're falling in love; when it's simple, when it feels fluid, when things are cooking. The question is, how can we recapture that feeling after the honeymoon is over?On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants you’ll hear the number one tip from my Become Passion online couples’ immersion program—and it’s definitely not what you’re thinking.Today, I’m teaching you all about the Three Breath Hug, AKA my holy grail tip for couples. When we hug our sweetheart with a three breath hug, we’re re-grounded… even when we're disconnected and angry, annoyed or upset with each other. It lets our bodies drink in the ease of each other in, the safety of each other, and the bigger, higher self of each of us. In This Episode, You Will Learn:How to do the Three Breath Hug (03:51)Anytime is a great time to practice the Three Breath Hug (05:31)One of the best times to use the Three Breath Hug is when you least want to because of hurt, anger, or frustration (07:59)Today’s LoveByte (13:21)Take my May challenge! Kiss your partner every day this month and win a prize - email hello@drcherylfraser.com to be entered!Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!Let’s Connect!About MeWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

Think of your first kiss with your current partner. (And if you're unpartnered, think of the first kiss with a previous partner—even if  the relationship didn't end so well.)? How did that first kiss  feel?First kisses can be pretty powerful, pretty exciting, and sometimes almost orgasmically explosive. Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants is all about the kiss. You’ll hear all about my origin story with my now-husband and why our first kiss changed everything for our relationship. Kissing is a funny thing. When we first start out in a relationship, we put so much energy, so much mindfulness, so much focus and so much eroticism into the act… But then something happens. You get years into a long term relationship and kissing starts to seem like an almost trivial act—but it is so much more than that.In This Episode, You Will Learn:When I went on my first date with my now-husband, I had no intention of being partnered (02:29)My honey reacted with only positivity when I told him about my 90-day meditation retreats and that’s when I knew he was different (13:53)An amazing kiss can be an erotic, emotional, spiritual, energetic movement of energy through your entire body (17:56)First kisses, for almost all of us, are incredibly exciting because of the anticipation (19:23)Today’s LoveByte (21:04)Take my May challenge! Kiss your partner every day this month and win a prize - email hello@drcherylfraser.com to be entered!Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!Let’s Connect!About MeWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

The source of all of your unhappiness is in your own mind. Excuse me, Dr. Cheryl?! It may sound harsh, but it’s true. Our expectations about how we think things should be, how we want things to be, how we believe things should go in our life… Those are expectations, not reality. And reality is a bitch. It’s one of the toughest aspects of being alive. Today on Sex, Love, and Elephants I’m talking about your expectations vs the real world - and how much this can hurt your relationship! Have you ever noticed that your expectations and reality often clash in a major way?  It can be difficult to accept that things won’t always go your way—in fact, I still have to work on it myself sometimes. We all  have expectations, we all have plans,  and we all have desires… There are ways we want things to go and reality often has other ideas. You can be angry and vindictive all you want, but in the end, you’re only prolonging your own suffering.In This Episode, You Will Learn:I recently had an airplane trip from hell - my expectations were certainly not met! But…I adjusted to relaity and made lemonade from the lemons…(02:12)Be nice to the people who just happen to be bystanders when reality fails to meet your wishes (10:23)Be kind to yourself, your mind, and your partner when reality isn’t going your way (14:27)You can always change the story you’re making up about your partner and change your expectations  (16:58)Happiness or unhappiness is completely up to us (21:26)Today’s LoveByte (22:07)Take my May challenge! Kiss your partner every day this month and win a prize - email hello@drcherylfraser.com to be entered!Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom Interested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!Let’s Connect!About MeWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

When you're feeling irritated toward your partner or you’re anxious about something that you think is just not working in your relationship, do you notice that it can feel as though your heart is closed down? As though you’re a little bit guarded and trying to gain a bit of protection? Most of us don't do it deliberately, but subconsciously a protective mechanism can kick in. And that’s a problem…In the last chapter of my 3-part Spring into Love series, I’m rounding out our talks on kindness and gratitude by teaching you all about generosity and the incredible power it has in our relationships.  And I’m not talking about giving gifts - I’m talking about thinking generous thoughts.Do you consider yourself a generous person? How do you personally define generosity? You may be a perfectly giving person in your day-to-day life, but what about when it comes to your long-term romantic relationships? How generous are you really to your sweetheart?In This Episode, You Will Learn:A quick thought experiment about generosity (05:57)When we cultivate generosity about our partner, we will feel more at ease. We will feel happier, we will feel a softening in our heart. (11:13)How you cultivate generous thoughts towards your partner is 100% up to you. Happiness is all in your own head (14:54)It’s up to us to interpret the data—it’s up to us to choose kindness and generosity (15:59)Today’s LoveByte (17:19)Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.comInterested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!Let’s Connect!About MeWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

Do you have a mind that's always looking for what's not working? Maybe you’re really good at picking out things that are wrong or incorrect and it might make you a terrific accountant or a skilled surgeon or a fantastic editor. Of course there's nothing wrong with being bright—but what about when our bright little minds bring that same critical energy to our relationships? That’s when the love trouble can start. In this 3-part Spring into Love series on Sex, Love, and Elephants I’m talking about  three deceptively simple things that each of us needs to nurture in order to have an extraordinary relationship: Kindness, Gratitude, and Generosity. Today, I’m covering gratitude. There are a number of scientific studies that show that people who practice gratitude have a better overall state of mental well being. They feel calmer and they tend to have a more optimistic outlook on things. Gratitude isn't some trend—when we train our mind to look for what's right instead of what's wrong, we achieve a more positive emotional state. Especially when we do it toward our partner.In This Episode, You Will Learn:As humans, we’ve evolved to have a mind that looks for what’s wrong (09:45)There are things you are grateful for even on your worst relationship day (11:50)When you cultivate gratitude in your mind by looking for what's right in your relationship , you'll feel more at ease (16:07)ACTION STEP - Ideally in person,snuggled up in bed together, share with your partner one thing you're grateful for. Because if you don't take action, nothing ever changes (17:28)Today’s LoveByte (18:46)Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.comInterested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!Let’s Connect!About MeWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

For so many of us in long term relationships, we start to take each other for granted. Complacency creeps in on its sneaky little feet—we get bored, we cease to find our partner exciting, we no longer romance them. Sometimes, we even stop being kind to them and wind up treating thembadly- unkind tone, sharp words - instead of treating them like a good friend.For the next three weeks on Sex, Love, and Elephants it’s all about springing into love. I’m talking about  three deceptively simple things that each of us needs to nurture in order to have an extraordinary relationshi - Kindness, Gratitude, and Generosity. Today is all about kindness.In these short, powerful episodes I'm teaching you and your honey about some subtle yet profound aspects of developing great emotional and psychological intimacy. I also talk about the three aspects of what I call the passion triangle: ​​intimacy, thrill, and sensuality—the cornerstones of every extraordinary relationship.In This Episode, You Will Learn:Very few couples are strong in all three key relationship areas (04:40)Medical testing has shown that the feeling of falling in love is very similar in the brain to actual obsession (06:28)We often need a reboot for our long term relationships—we become lazy at the things we were good at in the beginning (09:23) The critical importance of simply Being KindDo better. Bit by bit, moment by moment (16:02)Prevention is key. Vow to prevent some of the unkind words, vow to prevent some of the unkind tone of voice (17:53)Today’s LoveByte (21:19)Want to learn more about Buddhism and Love relationships? Check out my book Buddha’s Bedroom Got a question or topic you’d like me to cover in an upcoming episode? Email me at hello@drcherylfraser.comInterested in the 2023 session of my Become Passion 12-week online immersion program for couples? Learn more and get on the waitlist to be notified HERE!Let’s Connect!About MeWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz