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Seen. Not Defined.
KNOW: The Stories We Work Inside
Season 1, Ep. 9
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Every workplace has stories.
Some are written down in values, competency frameworks and performance reviews.
Others are quieter.
“She’s brilliant with people.”
“He’s not very strategic.”
“She lacks confidence.”
“He’s leadership material.”
“They’re not quite ready.”
Repeat a story often enough and eventually it stops sounding like an interpretation.
It starts sounding like a fact.
In this episode, Vikki explores the stories organisations create about people, how those stories shape opportunity, and what happens when a workplace keeps responding to an old version of someone long after they have changed.
Because workplaces are supposed to develop people, but development requires revision.
You cannot say you want a growth culture while permanently holding people accountable to who they were two, five or ten years ago.
Growth requires organisations to update too.
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To ask:
What new evidence do we have?
What has changed?
What strengths are emerging?
Where are we still interpreting this person through information that is no longer current?
This matters even more when we think about diversity, because some people arrive in workplaces already carrying assumptions they never created in the first place.
This episode explores identity at work, leadership potential, workplace labels, performance, bias, development, promotion, diversity, organisational culture and the stories that quietly shape careers.
People do not only work inside organisations. They work inside the expectations those organisations hold about them.
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11. KNOW: Subject to Change
12:45||Season 1, Ep. 11Would you use a CV you wrote ten years ago to apply for a job today?Probably not.It might all be true, but it wouldn't tell the whole story of who you've become.Yet how many of us are still living by an outdated CV of ourselves?I'm not confident. I'm the quiet one. I'm not creative. I've never been that kind of person.Somewhere along the way, observations become labels. Labels become identities. And identities become rules about what we believe we're capable of.In this episode of Seen. Not Defined., we explore how the stories we tell ourselves, and the stories other people continue to tell about us, can quietly shape our opportunities, relationships and sense of possibility.Because while we're encouraged to grow, we're not always very good at updating our understanding of who we are, or allowing other people to do the same.What if being authentic doesn't mean staying the same? What if some of the things you've always believed about yourself are simply out of date?This week, I'm inviting you to reconsider one sentence you've been using to define yourself.You don't have to erase your past or reinvent your personality.Perhaps you just need to add two words.Subject to change.10. SEE: Before You Speak
13:35||Season 1, Ep. 10The story someone's appearance tells before they have the chance to speak.In SEE: Before You Speak, Vikki explores how an appearance, outfit, scar or other visible detail can become a story in our minds before somebody has had the chance to introduce themselves. The conversation asks us to separate observation from interpretation, consider the extra social work that can come with visible difference, and stay curious long enough to meet the person beyond the first impression.8. CONNECT: Nothing Left to Know
18:14||Season 1, Ep. 8Watch the TEDx Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IikhH_btza4My TEDx talk ended with a simple invitation: look again.But what happens when we actually put that idea to the test?Surely we do know the people closest to us? What if someone has repeatedly shown us exactly who they are? Does leaving room for people to change mean ignoring patterns? And what happens when we look again and realise we don't actually like the person someone has become?In this episode of Seen. Not Defined., I take on some of questions I've received since giving my TEDx talk.We explore the point where knowing becomes certainty, the difference between accountability and identity, why “you've changed” doesn't have to be an accusation, and whether even positive labels like “strong”, “clever” and “independent” can quietly become cages.Because knowing someone isn't the problem.The problem is deciding there's nothing left to know.Perhaps the person you've become most certain about isn't somebody else.Perhaps it's you.A question to take away:What's changed about you that I might not have noticed?Because maybe being seen isn't about somebody understanding everything about us.Maybe it's knowing they haven't finished understanding us yet.7. CONNECT: Let Me Disappoint You
21:31||Season 1, Ep. 7There are people in your life who will be disappointed when you change.Not necessarily because your change is wrong.Sometimes simply because the new version of you is less convenient for them.In this episode of Seen. Not Defined., Vikki explores what happens when growth disrupts the roles we have quietly built inside relationships.The reliable one.The strong one.The easy-going one.The person who always says yes.What happens when you stop performing the version of yourself everybody has grown used to?From boundaries and ambition to changing priorities, relationships and identity, this episode looks at the difference between being considerate of the people we love and allowing their comfort to become a limit on who we are allowed to become.Because somebody can be disappointed by your decision without your decision being wrong.And sometimes what feels like conflict is simply adjustment.You cannot build an identity by committee.6. CONNECT: I Thought You Knew Me
18:46||Season 1, Ep. 6Watch the TedX here: https://youtu.be/IikhH_btza4?si=m6qCqbQdhRuy7U2NThere is a particular kind of loneliness that can happen inside close relationships.Not because nobody knows you.But because they know you so well, they stop asking who you are now.In this episode of Seen. Not Defined., Vikki explores what happens when familiarity quietly turns into certainty, and the people closest to us begin relating to an older version of who we are.From changing after illness and major life experiences to shifting ambitions, boundaries, beliefs and relationships, this episode asks whether being deeply known can sometimes make it harder to be seen afresh.Because people change slowly.Often so slowly that they notice it long before anyone else does.Sometimes one person is thinking, I’ve been changing for years, while everyone around them is wondering, Where has this come from?Vikki explores the roles we build around one another, why growth can unsettle even loving relationships, the freedom we sometimes feel around people who have no history with us, and why real intimacy might mean allowing the people we love to keep surprising us.Being known is beautiful, but perhaps the deepest intimacy is someone remaining interested enough to keep finding out.5. CHANGE: Confidence Is Not Inclusion
22:13||Season 1, Ep. 5“Be confident.”“Own it.”“Don’t worry what people think.”It’s advice usually given with the best intentions. And confidence can be genuinely life-changing.But what happens when confidence stops being something we give people, and becomes something we require from them just to belong?In this episode of Seen. Not Defined., Vikki explores the difference between individual confidence and genuine inclusion, and asks why some people are expected to develop extraordinary resilience simply to navigate ordinary spaces.From visible difference and disability to workplaces, schools and everyday social situations, this episode looks at the hidden labour involved in constantly managing other people’s reactions, answering questions, challenging assumptions and advocating for yourself.Because teaching someone to cope with an environment is not the same as making that environment inclusive.Confidence can be a powerful tool.But it should never become the price of dignity, participation or belonging.Good inclusion lowers the entry fee.4. CHANGE: Make Difference Boring
19:09||Season 1, Ep. 4We say we want more representation.More scars. More disabilities. More facial differences. More bodies that fall outside the narrow version of “normal” we’ve been shown for decades.But when difference does appear, why does it so often need an explanation?The survivor. The inspiration. The diversity campaign. The body-confidence story.In this episode of Seen. Not Defined., Vikki asks what genuine representation might look like if visibly different people were allowed to simply… exist.A woman with facial scarring selling perfume without the advert being about her face.A person with limb difference appearing in a family holiday campaign without being called brave.A scarred body in swimwear imagery without an inspirational caption.Because there is a difference between being featured and being integrated.This episode explores visible difference in advertising, television, fashion and everyday culture; the pressure on underrepresented people to educate and inspire; what children learn from the faces and bodies they repeatedly see; and why real inclusion should even make room for people to be completely unremarkable.Making difference boring does not mean making it invisible.It means making it familiar.Inclusion should not require autobiography.3. SEE: Looking Good After Illness
24:21||Season 1, Ep. 3“You look so well.”After illness, those words can feel wonderful. They can also carry an uncomfortable assumption; that looking better must mean being better.In this episode of Seen. Not Defined., Vikki explores the complicated relationship between appearance and recovery, and why wanting to feel attractive again doesn’t make you shallow.Vikki reflects on reclaiming make-up, clothes and glamour after treatment, the pressure to “look recovered”, and why comments like “you’d never know” reveal something deeper about the way we value visible recovery.Recovery is not an aesthetic.You can look beautiful and still be struggling.You can look different and still be thriving.And caring about how you look does not mean allowing appearance to determine your worth.