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Secret Life of Books

The Secret Life of (Literary) Honeymoons

Ep. 135

From the outset, there’s only one kind of honeymoon in classic literature, and it's disastrous. Honeymoons don't become fixed stars in the literary firmament until the early nineteenth century, but they begin as they go on - badly. The first literary honeymoon of the century is Maria Bertram's ill-fated tour with the fatuous Mr. Rushworth in Mansfield Park, with her jealous sister Julia Bertram third-wheeling. Next up we have Victor Frankenstein’s wedding trip to Evian with his bride Elizabeth. No sooner has the couple checked into the hotel and raided the minibar than Frankenstein’s Creature arrives and brutally murders his bride.

After that there’s a trio of hideous honeymoons in Bronte novels – Mr. Rochester’s horrific Caribbean jaunt with his first wife; a catastrophic European whirlwind in The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (husband already philandering), and Heathcliff’s revenge honeymoon with Isabella Linton in Wuthering Heights. After that, it's all downhill with Tess of the D'Urbervilles, Middlemarch and The Portrait of a Lady.

Join Sophie and Jonty for a romp through some of the least romantic holidays in literary history. And we don’t just cover fictional honeymoons – there are some classic bloopers off the page too, involving the Victorian literati themselves having a bad time.

We rank the honeymoons according to our usual rigorous criteria: Tripadvisor rating (location, food, accommodation); Marital Bliss quotient (ie. how was the sex?); Frictionless Travel score and – of course – centrality to the narrative itself.

Join us on a 6-honeymoon literary package tour through England and abroad.



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