The Scummy Mummies Podcast

Time for the filthiest, silliest and sweariest episode of the year - it's the Scummy Mummies Christmas Podcast! We are joined by our old friends Miserable Steve, Nurse Jessie and Sam Pamphilon. We discuss our highs and lows of 2024, and find out what Steve means when he talks about getting his balls drained. Of course, our festive Scummy traditions return - join us as we wish Linda a happy birthday, and find out if Jessie has a new job. Plus: who will win this year's Ham Review? There's a hilarious story about not defrosting some gammon, a warning about the dangers of Chinese laxative tea, and a deep dive into the origins of our 2024 slogan, "No tuna, no vape." And not one, but two stupid quizzes!We also share the strongest Scummy Mummy Confession we heard this year, and enjoy a heated and graphic debate about the best way to unblock a toilet. Trigger warnings: sexual deviancy, toilet "humour", guinea pig death/exhumation. Ellie used Felicity Cloake's ham recipe, while Helen went with one by Sarah Rossi. Her brilliant book, What's for Christmas Dinner?, is out now. Thank you for listening. And a special shoutout to all those who have listened to every episode of our podcast for the last 11 bloody years. We really appreciate your support and tolerance. As always, this Christmas Special is for you. See you in 2025 with our brand new show, Hot Mess, and massive UK tour! Some tickets on sale now via scummymummies.com.Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, lots of love from Helen and Ellie xxx

Are modern mums more stressed than their predecessors, and if so, why? What's the best way to deal with anger, and what should you do if you've shouted at your children? How do you accept that you're just not good enough? Answering all these questions is the amazing psychotherapist Anna Mathur! She tells us all about her brilliant new book, The Uncomfortable Truth: Change Your Life By Taming Ten Of Your Greatest Fears. We discuss everything from death and rage to phone addiction and crap holidays. Then we round off with some Confessions involving coping strategies, lentils, and Miserable Steve and his enormous hose. Anna's latest book is out now! You can follow her on Instagram @annamathur.*WE ARE ON TOUR!* Many dates are sold out but there are still a few tickets left for Twickenham tonight and tomorrow, and Finchester on Friday. Then next week we're off to Winchester, Wells and Leatherhead. And we round off the year on 17 and 18 December, followed by Kent on the 19th. Plus look out for tickets to our brand new 2025 show, Hot Mess - they make great xmas presents! Go to scummymummies.com for dates and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on X (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening! 

In this episode, we answer all the burning questions we've had recently about the theft of Ellie's wedding rings. How did they get nicked in the first place? What was the piece of advice that helped her get them back? Is the vow renewal still going ahead??? Listen in to find out! It's just the two of us for this one, live from the glamorous setting of a Premier Inn hotel room in Norwich. As well as discussing the ring drama, we take the opportunity to say some nice things to each other, and even get a bit weepy at one point. But don't worry, there's plenty of pisstaking and swearing too. Thank you for listening. And thank you to everyone who liked Ellie's posts, made lovely comments, and gave helpful advice. The internet can be a dreadful place, we all know that. But it's lovely when you discover little pockets of love and joy, and we're very grateful to have found one here. Love Ellie and Helen x

How do we keep children safe when they're playing games online? What's the best way to manage screentime? What is Fortnite, why is it so popular, and what age should kids be allowed to start playing it? Helping us answer all these questions is the awesome author and video games journalist, Keith Stuart!This special episode is sponsored by Epic Games, the creators of Fortnite. We talk about some of the positive aspects of gaming, including why games can be a lifeline for neurodivergent children. We also offer some tips for parents for getting involved in their kids’ gaming and avoiding arguments about screentime, or at least reducing them.Then it's time for a chat about Fortnite specifically - we explain how it all works, and take a look at the wide range of experiences on offer within the game, such as LEGO Fortnite, Rocket Racing, and thousands more. We also discuss Epic’s approach to safety and some of the parental controls available for you to use. There's also a bit of book chat - Keith is now writing his fifth novel, and we find out about his writing routine. His latest book, Love is a Curse, is out now.Do have a look at the websites we recommend - askaboutgames.com and familygamingdatabase.com. Check out Epic’s Safety and Security site for more info. And check out Andy Robertson's great book, Taming Gaming.Thanks again to our sponsors, Epic Games.And thank you for listening! 

How is having ADHD like being a butterfly? Why are women still being defined by what their husbands do? And do sharks really love heavy metal? Helping us to answer all these questions is the awesome Lliana Bird! She tells us about her children's book, Baboo the Unusual Bee, which she wrote while breastfeeding. We share our memories of being new mums, and reveal the advice we wish we'd had back in the day. Lliana talks about her shock at discovering that women's pages are disappearing from wikipedia, thanks to some good old fashioned misogyny. We also have a good old chinwag about everything from her time as Xfm's longest serving woman DJ to female friendship, the mental load, and why mice sing when they want a shag. Baboo the Unusual Bee is out now. Follow Lliana on Instagram @llianabird. *WE ARE ON TOUR!* Very soon we're coming to Blackburn, Tenbury Wells, Newport, Norwich, East Grinstead... And then it's our Christmas tour! Harrogate, Newcastle, Twickenham, Colchester, Finchley, Winchester, Wells, Leatherhead, Cambridge and Benenden. Go to scummymummies.com for dates and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on X (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening! 

This is a special LIVE podcast, recorded at the awesome Big Feastival this summer. Our guest is Cat Sims, known on the socials as @notsosmugnow. We cover a host of topics in this podcast, from starting school to managing teens, coping with WhatsApp groups and dealing with nits. We chat about the three things you should never talk about with other parents, and have a heated debate about laundry. We bring back the classic game Handbag Surprise and of course we share some Scummy Mummy Confessions. There's even a cameo from a special guest at the end. And all in front of a live audience! In a tent! Huge thanks to Big Feastival for having us, and to Cat for being such a great guest - follow her on all the things @notsosmugnow, and check out her excellent honest baby book, The First Time You Smiled (Or Was it Just Wind?)*WE ARE ON TOUR!* Very soon we're coming to Hertford, Canterbury, Blackburn, Tenbury Wells, Newport, Norwich, East Grinstead, Harrogate, Newcastle... And then it's our Christmas tour! Go to scummymummies.com for dates and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on X (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening! 

Our guest for this episode is the hilarious Michael Akadiri! He tells us why he switched from junior doctor to comedian, but always wanted to be a footballer. We find out how he's enjoying being a new dad, and laugh at the ludicrous extravagance of his son's first birthday party. There's some advice for anyone about to start medical school, and Michael shares how working as a psychiatric nurse helped him become a better doctor. Plus: is it OK to push your kids towards sporting excellence? What's Ellie's top tip for potty training? And what would our wrestling names be? Tune in to find out. Michael's latest stand-up show, Trust Me, I'm a Daddy, is coming to London this week, then he's in Cambridge, Aberystwyth, Bristol, Birmingham and many more... Go to michaelakadiri.com for dates and tickets. *WE ARE ON TOUR!* Very soon we're coming to Portsmouth, Guildford, Edinburgh, Aberdeen, Glasgow, Dundee, Hertford, Canterbury, Blackburn, Tenbury Wells, Newport, Norwich, East Grinstead, Harrogate, Newcastle... And then it's our Christmas tour! Go to scummymummies.com for dates and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening! 

How come different people find different things funny? Why is When Harry Met Sally a better film than Love Actually? And can dogs laugh? Helping us to answer all these questions is award-winning comedy writer Joel Morris! He tells us about his new book, Be Funny or Die: How Comedy Works and Why It Matters. We find out what it's like to write jokes for Charlie Brooker and Philomena Cunk, and why Joel hasn't got a BAFTA, even though he won a BAFTA. Plus - how does Joel feel about his books ending up in charity shops, and is it OK to give up gardening if you're crap at gardening? We finish off with some top Scummy Mummy Confessions, including a triple whammy from Ellie involving an Italian wedding. Joel's brilliant book is out now, and as mentioned he has a great substack. The gaming podcast he made with Ellie is called Extra Life, the other one we talk about is Comfort Blanket, and they're both available wherever you found this. *WE ARE ON TOUR!* Very soon we're coming to Barnard Castle, Darlington, Sturminster Newton, Portsmouth, Guildford, Edinburgh, Aberdeen, Glasgow, Dundee, Hertford, Canterbury, Blackburn, Tenbury Wells, Newport, Norwich, East Grinstead, Harrogate, Newcastle... And then it's our Christmas tour! Go to scummymummies.com for dates and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!