Same Day Shipping: Real Love & Fake Relationships

Sometimes you've got to pour your heart out over the phone to your long distance significant other, and sometimes you end up proposing. So what do you do when this same L.D.S.O. just sorta says "uh" and hangs up?! Probably start by calling back, right? Then, the biggest flop of the year has a too-buff J.K. Simmons as Santa Claus, so you know we're talking Red One Ships!

What do you do when your neighbors think they can just sell things in their front yard TOTALLY UNATTENDED? And how much will you pay for that cool looking door? Then, spooky movie genre month continues with Nightmare Ships - Elmstreet need not apply.

What do you do when and old fling comes back into your life, HAS SEX WITH YOU, and then while that's happening, her ex leaves a message on her machine? That's right, it's at least 20 years ago. Then, the Shipper's tour through Horror Cinema's past continues with an exploration of their favorite ExorShips (that's Exorcism Ships, but cuter).

Love and trust are hard-won between super villains, but what do you do when your villainous SO's superpower actively weakens your superpower? Separate vocations, baby - it doesn't have to be that hard! Then, WELCOME TO OCTOBER - the Shippers are taking a tour of the ages of film horror with this month's themes! Up first, Universal Movie Monster Ships! You got your Draculas, your Creatures from the Black Lagoon, your Invisible Mans, your Swamp Things, your Frankensteins (agents of S-H-A-D-E, which is just totally how it's spelled normally).

What do you when your murderous mother-in-law-to-be demands you sign an NDA? WELL YOU DON'T DO IT FOR FREE. Then, what the heck? It's time for Board Game Ships! All your favorite characters from board games, all your favorite players of board games, all your favorite anthropomorphizations of board games!

What do you do when your new S.O. starts very softly implying obscene acts with their novelty popcorn buckets? Kinda seems like... no problem, right? YEAH, BUT WHAT IF IT WAS A PROBLEM? Then, the Shippers get into the spirit of the new The Batman spin-off series by sharing their favorite Penguin Ships! And hey look, are some of these "ships" actually just "stories"? You better believe it! But you also better believe Mogge stuck to the assignment and brought one (1) actual ship (even if that ship is ultimately between a sorceress with unlimited power and her immortal play-thing / prisoner).

What if your neat freak boyfriend dropped your toothbrush in the toilet and didn't tell you about it? Sorry, I meant "what's the deal with boyfriends dropping your toothbush in the toilet?" Then, Sweet Tooth is a murderous clown who drives an ice cream with mini-guns strapped to the sides, but does that mean we can't ship him?

What do you do when your girlfriend dies and/or disappears for, like, years, and then comes back, only to fly off to fight some aliens or some shit? Then, look, there's a pair of movies in the theatre right now, and we're creatures of the culture, so: Barbieheimer Ships, it is! Hunger Games! Barbie! X-Men! Neils Bohr (for some reason)! The Simpsons!

What do you do when your new SO is obsessed with making edits for the only non-bisexual icon from the movie The Mummy? (And how many followers does their channel have?) Then, say it twice but don't say it three times, there's a new Beetlejuice movie, so it's time to talk Beetle Ships!