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Birthday Ships and My Rebound is a Centerfold

Isn't it always the way? The instant you find creative, revolutionary fulfillment in your magazine, you end up boinking the centerfold! We've all been there, but what about when said centerfold FALLS IN LOVE WITH YOU? Then, a new season of Russian Doll is on the infinitely repeating horizon, so the Shippers are saying "sweet birthday baby" and celebrating Birthday Ships! Sometimes that just means characters that have birthdays, and sometimes that means characters in movies where there are other characters that we never see, who will never have another birthday again. (It also means one deranged fantasy that we are all genuinely worse off for hearing.)