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cover art for Birthday Ships and My Rebound is a Centerfold

4/15/2022

Birthday Ships and My Rebound is a Centerfold

Isn't it always the way? The instant you find creative, revolutionary fulfillment in your magazine, you end up boinking the centerfold! We've all been there, but what about when said centerfold FALLS IN LOVE WITH YOU? Then, a new season of Russian Doll is on the infinitely repeating horizon, so the Shippers are saying "sweet birthday baby" and celebrating Birthday Ships! Sometimes that just means characters that have birthdays, and sometimes that means characters in movies where there are other characters that we never see, who will never have another birthday again. (It also means one deranged fantasy that we are all genuinely worse off for hearing.)

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SCREAM Ships Part 1

There's a new Scream movie in theatres, which means we're taking a "stab" at a Colombo Ghostface cold open. It goes great! Then, in part one, we find ships for all the new kids introduced in Scream 4 and Scream 5.

Creed III Ships and Parisian Betrayal

What do you do when you left for the summer, and your SO ends up hooking up with your best friend? You dump him, right? Then what if he and the friend insist on telling you about everything and then dating in front of you FOREVER? Or, y'know, 'til next summer. Then, Creed III is out in theatres, which means... Patrick and Ryan spend a lot of time talking about Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania. Oh, and everyone watches the Creed music video for With Arms Wide Open. Look, it's sort of a weird episode.

Cocaine Ships and You Lost the Lottery

What do you do when you're jealous AND a big ol' creep? Maybe you don't murder the person you're jealous of! Then, Cocaine Bear is out in theatres, which means it's finally time to do Cocaine Ships! Oh Hello! Boogie Nights! Breaking Bad! Legends and Lattes!