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80s Ships and Protocol Kisses

You've heard of "shoot the hostage", but what do you do if your partner institutes a "kiss the hostage policy?" Worse yet, what happens if they kiss you and it's like the best damn thing you ever experienced? YOU CAN CHANGE THEM RIGHT?!?! Then, it's Christmas Day, which means Wonder Woman 1984 is on your TV, and the Shippers are talking 80s ships! Die Hard! Valley Girl! Return to Oz! Commercials! Radical!