Sacrilegious Discourse

We zoom straight into the messy middle: the hosts map the Old Testament’s timeline, drag the canon-adjacent weirdness, and keep asking the only sane question—why do Christians never study the parts that break their doctrine? Cue First Enoch: angels sneak down for some pre-Flood “romance,” producing the giant Nephilim—yes, really—and setting the stage before Noah ever builds a boat. From there, Second Enoch one-ups the cosmic fanfic with ten heavens and a celestial tour that even the hosts call… boring (their words, not ours).Then comes the twist most pew-sitters miss: Job doesn’t belong where your printed Bible shelved him. He actually slots back into the Genesis era—roughly Abraham-time (~2100 BCE)—which is why your mental map keeps breaking. The episode also pins the patriarchal period (Abraham → Isaac → Jacob → Joseph) to a working window of 2100–1800 BCE, ending with Israel parked in Egypt and waiting for Exodus to kick off. Along the way, the hosts rant—gloriously—about how weaponized Christianity depends on not letting people ask questions. You know, because power loves a fog machine.Expect digressions (Netflix rabbis, Discord chaos), unfiltered language, and a very practical promise: this mini-arc is building a clean chronology so the New Testament takedown lands even harder. Listen, laugh, and load up on heresy fuel.👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse📌 Topics Covered:First Enoch: Pre-Flood angel–human hookups and Nephilim lore, before Noah ever shows upSecond Enoch: The “ten heavens” tour and why even fans of chaos said “hard pass”Job in Genesis?! Re-shelving Job to the Abraham era (~2100 BCE) so the timeline actually makes sensePatriarchal Period (Genesis 12–50) dated to 2100–1800 BCE; Jacob→Israel; Joseph drags everyone to EgyptGenesis wraps in Egypt, teeing up Exodus and the Moses showWhy churches fear questions: the rant about religion as a power tool you’re trained not to interrogate💬 Best Quote from the Episode:“There is so much nefarious bullshit weaponized behind what Christianity is… you aren’t allowed to question it.”

We’re pre-gaming Enoch—the apocryphal fever dream Christians can’t stop half-quoting when angels get horny and giants show up. Consider this your atheist field guide to the Watchers, their disastrous “heavenly HR violations,” and how this book helped turbocharge demon lore, apocalyptic fanfic, and every YouTuber who thinks fallen angels invented metallurgy just to ruin your day.We also get into why Enoch didn’t make the Protestant cut, how it still haunts modern theology, and the messy overlap with Genesis 6 (hello, Nephilim). Expect snark, side-quests, and a few “did the prophet just say that out loud?” moments—because yes, Enoch is that extra. Listen, rage, laugh, repeat… then come argue with us on Discord.👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com 👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC 👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse📌 Topics Covered:Who are the Watchers? Angelic creeps, cosmic tattletales, or bothNephilim 101: Giants, myths, and why this still infects pop theologyWhy Enoch got the boot: Canon politics and apocrypha dramaEnoch vs. Genesis 6: Same lore, wilder energyApocalypse aesthetics: Demons, doom, and second-temple fan serviceModern fallout: From church basements to conspiracy TikTok

Adam’s on his deathbed, Seth’s asking angels for a dab of “oil of mercy,” and somehow we end up with a medieval fan-theory where a magic tree grows out of Adam’s grave and later becomes the Cross. Yes, really. In this irreverent romp through the final chapters of the Life of Adam and Eve (aka Vita Adae et Evae / Apocalypse of Moses), we pick apart apocryphal add-ons that try way too hard to stitch Genesis to Golgotha—complete with numerology (hello, “70 plagues”), cardinal-direction symbolism, and angels doing glorified side-quests.We dig into the “fruit of paradise” vs. the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve living in that liminal cul-de-sac outside Eden, and the two “guardian” angels who…didn’t guard. Then it’s off to the Legend of the Holy Rood: Seth plants a seed/branch from the Tree of Life in Adam’s grave; centuries later, that wood shows up everywhere—Noah’s Ark, Moses’ rod, Solomon’s Temple—and finally becomes the Cross. Subtle, it ain’t. Also: “Bethlehem is the center of the earth,” Seth’s unreadable headstones, and Adam being assembled from rivers, winds, clouds, and sunshine like a theologically confused Build-A-Bear.If you like your Bible lore with side-eye, pop-culture riffs, and zero patience for divine PR, this one’s for you. Listen, laugh, rage—then tell a friend and come heckle with us on Discord.👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse📌 Topics Covered:What “fruit of paradise” actually means (no, not just that tree)Angels assigned to “guard” Adam and Eve…who absolutely didn’t“70 plagues” as ancient shorthand for “the whole pain buffet”The Legend of the Holy Rood: from Adam’s grave-sapling to the CrossSeth’s stone/clay tablets and Solomon’s “I can read this because an angel said so” lore dropAdam assembled from rivers, winds, clouds, and light (plus a bonus Holy Spirit soul)“Bethlehem is the center of the earth” (geography has left the chat)Four angels crowdsourcing the name “ADAM” from star initials—because why not💬 Best Quote from the Episode:“It was an apologist fanfic.” 

Adam is 930, everything hurts, and Seth wants a definition of “pain.” (Spoiler: nobody has one.) While the angels step out for a worship break, the Adversary clocks in and Eve gets blamed for…well, everything, again. The hosts roast the logic of angelic babysitters who take a coffee break right when the talking snake shows up, and we head down a rabbit hole of “divine consequences” that read more like management malpractice than cosmic justice.Then it’s a side-quest worthy of a RPG: Eve and Seth trek toward Paradise to beg for a drop of the Oil of Mercy for Adam’s aches, only to get ambushed by a serpent that bites Seth; until Seth tells it off like a bouncer at closing time. Enter Michael the Archangel, who basically says, “no oil for you… for 5,500 years,” because prophecy.The episode skewers the late-stage editorial stuffing where the text fast-forwards from Adam’s death to Queen of Sheba lore and a miraculous branch that somehow becomes the very wood of the Cross—a tidy bow, if your favorite genre is retroactive foreshadowing.We close with Adam’s burial, a celestial brass section of angels, Eve’s four-day funeral (Adam got seven, cool cool), and the “make two tablets, stone and clay, so at least one survives” disaster-prep tip. It’s equal parts myth, patchwork theology, and sitcom timing; perfect for a snarky breakdown you didn’t know you needed. Listen, laugh, and question why divine timelines always come with fine print.👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse📌 Topics Covered:Angel PTO: Guardians leave to worship; snake immediately clocks in... what could go wrong?Seth vs. Serpent: a bite, a rebuke, and a miraculous un-bite.Oil of Mercy on backorder for 5,500 years. Divine customer service is…not great.Adam dies at 930; seven days of cosmic blackout drama.The legend of the branch: from Adam’s grave to Solomon to Sheba to Calvary, prophecy speed-run.Eve’s funeral math: four days only, says Michael; also, make duplicate apocalypse-proof tablets.💬 Best Quote from the Episode:“You can’t describe something by using the same fucking word. That’s not how you do it.”

Vita Adae et EvaeWe crack open the Latin version of Vita Adae et Evae (aka The Life of Adam and Eve)—a pseudepigrapha text pinned to Moses long after the fact—and immediately trip over multiple editions, from Greek to Armenian, because of course the Bible multiverse needed DLC. We’re reading the English translation of the Latin because it’s the most readable for non-scholars who still want the tea without the footnote hangover.Chapters 1–21 deliver premium chaos: Adam and Eve spend a week not eating (apparently “full apple” is a superfood?) then embark on a hunger strike because post-Eden snacks are “animal food.” Adam contemplates “angelic food,” Eve contemplates… death, and we contemplate how anyone survived the Bronze Age with this decision-making. Meanwhile, Satan (Sir Sneckles, if you’re nasty) explains his villain origin story: he refused to worship Adam per Michael’s command, got demoted from five-star-heaven to Best Western hell-adjacent, and decided petty revenge was the vibe. Honestly? It reads like a celestial HR dispute.We also skewer the text’s sexism—as Eve gets painted dramatic-for-plot while Adam whines about losing his divine DoorDash—and we roast God’s third-person management style. Then we cap the night with housekeeping: yes, this is a multi-parter (57 micro-chapters!), and yes, we record live on Discord every Tuesday at 10pm ET—come heckle us in real time.👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse📌 Topics Covered:Which version are we even reading? Why Latin > Greek (this time) for sanity’s sake.Pseudepigrapha 101: “Moses wrote it” … sure, Jan.Satan’s grievance: “I’m not worshiping Dirt Man.” (Michael says “do it,” Satan says “nah.”)Hunger Games, Eden Edition: Two weeks without food because Olive Garden ≠ McDonald’s.Eve as scapegoat, again: We side-eye the blame-shifting and point out Adam had the instructions too.Discord Live Tuesdays @ 10pm ET: Come correct our pronunciations and roast along.💬 Best Quote from the Episode:“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and kind of defend the devil a little bit.”Follow along with us here:https://onthewaytoithaca.wordpress.com/apocrypha-collection/vita-adae-et-evae-en/

Your favorite godless duo kicks off a new arc by shoving Genesis back under the microscope—then gleefully coloring outside the canonical lines. We define Apocrypha (the “hidden/secret” stuff) and Pseudepigrapha (the “falsely attributed” stuff) before diving into why so much juicy lore lives outside the official cut. Think origin-story patch notes: second-Temple authors, bonus angels, Satan cameos, and the ultimate “deleted scenes” energy. (Also, yes, someone says they’re never reading the Old Testament again. Mood.)From there, we zoom into Genesis 1–11—creation, exile, murder, flood, and that adorable language-collapse at Babel—and tee up the apocryphal expansions that try to make the whiplash timelines…you know, make sense. Enter The Life of Adam and Eve (aka the Apocalypse of Moses) with grief, fasting, angelic burials, and Eve’s own post-Eden testimony; plus the hosts call it what it is: Bible fan fiction—and they mean that as a compliment.Then it’s a roll call for the “extras” you were never taught: 1 Enoch / 2 Enoch, Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs, and the sprawling Book of Jubilees that basically retells Genesis and chunks of Exodus—because of course it does. Strap in; we’re mapping the timeline, roasting the canon, and promising to actually read some of these wild texts next. Listen now, bring your rage, and bring a friend.👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse📌 Topics Covered:Apocrypha vs. Pseudepigrapha—what’s “hidden,” what’s “faked,” and why it mattersGenesis 1–11 speedrun: creation, exile, Cain & Abel, the Flood, BabelThe Life of Adam and Eve (Apocalypse of Moses)—Eve’s POV, angel funerals, cosmic guiltWhy Enoch keeps showing up in everyone’s theology like a mysterious uncle with visionsJubilees and Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs—when ancient editors couldn’t stop “fixing” GenesisThe hosts’ thesis: apocrypha = context, color, and all the inconvenient bits your pastor glossed over💬 Best Quote from the Episode:“I will fucking never read the Old Testament ever again.” 

This week we ditch the Apocrypha to confront the political cyclone around Charlie Kirk’s killing—and the even uglier spin machine that followed. The episode opens with a scorching montage of right-wing grievance and Bible-thumping clobber verses (yes, the “abomination” greatest hits), setting the stage for how faith is weaponized to police gender, empathy, and civil rights. The hosts are crystal clear: murder is not okay, full stop, and the shooter is a terrible person. The real conversation is what comes next—how power turns tragedy into propaganda and demands obedience.From there, we unpack the rush to canonize Kirk—right down to talk of a Medal of Freedom—and why that’s a grotesque rewrite of who he actually was and what he said. We also dig into why receipts are suddenly hard to find (thanks, algorithms), and why acknowledging his hateful rhetoric does not imply he “had it coming.” When Trump and Vance start floating vague “crackdowns” and even National Guard deployments, the show calls it what it is: creeping authoritarianism that feeds on martyrdom and demands a public enemy.Finally, the hosts hit first principles: secular democracy means no church-state fusion (despite the Right’s confident fiction that separation is “made up”), and “religious freedom” isn’t the freedom to impose your denomination on everyone else. If America becomes “Charlie Kirk’s America,” they argue, we’ve already lost the plot. The answer isn’t violence; it’s showing up, speaking out, and refusing to let propaganda define reality.👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com 👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC 👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse📌 Topics Covered:Montage of Trump/Kirk/Miller + Bible clobber verses used as political cudgels.“Violence isn’t the answer,” mental health, and sane gun policy—without the culture-war fog.The Medal of Freedom talk and why instant canonization is propaganda, not mourning.How search results bury Kirk’s own words—and why pointing to them isn’t “justifying” the shooting.“No separation of church and state”? The Right’s favorite myth, debunked.Talk of “crackdowns,” National Guard deployments, and the authoritarian vibe check.Why making a martyr is the point—and why democracy suffocates under that narrative.💬 Best Quote from the Episode: “But he’s a piece of shit. But murder’s not good.”—— If you like what you heard (or hated it in the right way), support our blasphemy on Patreon and don’t forget to join our cult—uh, community—on Discord.

Cue the confetti: we officially wrapped the Old Testament—and yes, we took a moment of celebratory silence (not prayer… obviously) before plotting what’s next. This one’s an on-air planning sesh where we celebrate the milestone and lay out how we’ll untangle the Bible’s utterly bonkers ordering—because the OT you grew up with is the same content as the Hebrew Bible, just shuffled by theology and tradition rather than history.We break down Tanakh = Torah + Nevi’im + Ketuvim (law, prophets, writings) and how that structure differs from the Christian OT flow—and why Christians deliberately ordered theirs to “bridge to Jesus.” Translation: editorial choices > chronology. We also map the extra books many folks never read—Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, 1–2 Maccabees (plus add-ons to Daniel & Esther), with Orthodox flavors like 3 Maccabees and an extra Psalm—before we decide how to slot them along a sane historical timeline.The plan: start next week with a tight Pentateuch timeline pass (Genesis, Job, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy), then keep marching chronologically while weaving in the Apocrypha where it actually belongs. Minimal recap, maximum clarity, and yes—“chronology next week.”👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC (Tues 10pm ET live taping—come roast with us)👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse📌 Topics Covered:Finishing the Old Testament and why we’re not sprinting into the NT just yet.Tanakh 101: Torah / Nevi’im / Ketuvim and why order ≠ history.Deuterocanon/Apocrypha adds (Tobit → 3 Maccabees) and where they’ll land in our timeline.Chronology fix: placing Judges/Kings/Chronicles without whiplash.Next steps: Pentateuch flyover to kick off the series.Community notes: live on Discord Tuesdays; Patreon boosts our pace.💬 Best Quote from the Episode:“Y' all made such a mess of this Bible. Omg. I have to come in here and clean this up now.”