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Real Women's Stories with Lisa Quait
AI Can Bring My Parents Back… But They Both Died Before My 10th Birthday
Season 7, Ep. 22
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To mark Children’s Grief Awareness Week, Dr Shelley Gilbert MBE joins Real Women’s Stories for one of the most important and thought-provoking conversations we’ve had on the show.
Shelley lost both her parents before her 10th birthday - an experience that shaped every part of her life and ultimately led her to build one of the UK’s leading childhood bereavement charities.
In this episode, Shelley shares:
- What it’s really like to experience parental death as a child
- How trauma affects a child’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviours
- The “conspiracy of silence” families often fall into
- How children can be supported with the right language and space
And then the conversation turns somewhere unexpected - to AI.
Shelley reflects on the emerging trend of using artificial intelligence to recreate the faces, voices, and movements of people who have died, and the emotional and ethical questions this raises for grieving families.
This episode combines lived experience, psychological insight, and a deeply human question:
Just because AI can bring someone back… should we let it?
A powerful, essential watch for anyone supporting a grieving child or exploring the evolving relationship between grief and technology.
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0:00 – Shelley’s childhood story: losing both parents before age 10
1:10 – The silence around her mum’s illness and what children aren’t told
2:25 – The night her father died and the shock that followed
3:40 – How children cope: survival mode, fear, and the “tiger” metaphor
5:00 – The “conspiracy of silence” and why families avoid talking about death
6:15 – Trauma’s impact on thoughts, feelings and behaviour
7:30 – Why language matters: saying “died” vs “lost”
8:45 – The Grief Book and the beginnings of Grief Encounter
10:00 – AI enters the conversation: recreating loved ones with technology
11:20 – The emotional risks of AI memorials and how children can heal safely
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Series Producer: Aaron Nelson
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