Rats In The Gutter

is bisexuality a myth? does pussy count as a meal and does it have a smooth finish? this week the rats go deep within themselves to find out where in the binary they live and whether or not identifiers matter when you’re getting properly laid.Full episode available on our Patreon xx

This week the rats cusp extracurricular exhaustion and the ambient horror of a world on fire, while also finding time to assess the particular madness of aged celebrities, consider Jar Jar Pinks as a prescient gender-radical, and wonder at the face-card cost of using Ozempic (with a less than subtle nod to the songstresses of a generation - Creed)

against all legal advice, the rats describe some of their extracurricular activities, which they’re forced to do because podcasting is largely pro bono. Also on the table this week—predatory bisexuals, show me that sweet lil peach, Bayonetta’s lycra wedgie, and bastard-Negronis.

After a brief work related hiatus - the rats are back in situ with some juicy and shocking personal revelation’s. No spoilers here - tune in and slurp that hot piping tea!

It’s here—the rats live! Effortlessly eclipsing The Eras Tour as the season's most sought-after ticketed event, Cosgrove and Te Kani set Auckland’s Q Theatre alight with blistering charismas, hard hitting takes on social issues, and a tasteful in memorium for celebrity human trafficking victim Madeline McCann. Utterly unmissable.

the rats try and have a critical conversation about some frankly profound theatre they recently saw together, and are thwarted by a bug in the system. Ironically, said play had themes of failure in art, in life, and the vertigo and grief of ambition giving way to defeat. We like when a theme comes full circle.

Body dysmorphia is as strong a theme this week as it’s ever been. Dune Part Two looms like a mammoth cultural moment. Fifties housewives dropping tapeworms into their own eyes as a desperate form of weight management seem smarter than most in light of Ozempic and traditional anorexias. Fake twink Timothee Chalamet and his slender boy-wife Zendaya do nothing for the rats' self image.

In a fugue state of rap beefs and genocides the rats try and cohere a week of internet, in brief. Notably featuring kosher cocktails, Hamas-friendly aperitifs, the American Mong, gluten-free blood flour, and screaming.