Pushing Past Polite

Happy holidays! You know the best gift you could give us? A review and a follow - and sharing an episode with a friend! Our website is pushingpastpolitepodcast.com, and you can find us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube @pushingpastpolite)On Episode 31, we have our first actual guest! Our dear mutual friend Jared joins us and shares so much wisdom - from why men need longer hugs to what it feels like to be an autistic man interacting in a predominantly allistic society. Kori and Laura start off singing some Flo Rida because sometimes it takes them a few moments to focus, and then we do a quick holiday check in. Once we talk through how we’re tackling wrapping gifts, the gals share their experiences with Jared and then let him introduce himself to you all. Conversation topics include the inclination for white folks to have more exclusionary circles over time, the concept of weaponized mass envy brought on by social hierarchies (see: white supremacy), the megaphone and the whispers of hateful policy, the importance of validating individuals’ experiences, the magic of good communication (with paraphrasing and active listening). We then shift to asking Jared what’s on his mind, given his intersectional identities as an autistic, gay, white man looking ahead to 2025. Unsurprisingly, we touch on politics, and Jared warns us to avoid the temptation to vilify large swaths of folks, drawing on experiences he’s had visiting Texas. He encourages us instead to get brave and have conversation - even if it’s awkward - to try to bridge divides. And please listen out for his love language that Kori and I want to put on mugs, sweatshirts, and socks. Y’all, we just know you’ll love him like we do.

Happy gratitude season! We’d be ever so grateful if you’d follow us on social media (@pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube), drop us a rating and review, and share episodes with your friends!On Episode 30, our trio of Kori, Keith, Laura focus on gratitude. They share what they’re grateful for - including family, friends, and the podcast as well as Kerrygold butter, Costco, a Turkish rug, herbs and houseplants, the Marco Polo app, a Gordon Ramsey poached salmon recipe, classic music, a KitchenAid mixer named Josephine the Mixing Queen, self-employment and owning our time, conversations with random strangers that lead to something beautiful, coffee shop vibes in a sauna, a strong sense of community, Cindy - our new listener, good audio quality, friends that push you to be your best self, and upcoming opportunities to travel. But not to Knott’s Berry Farm. Getting stuck on a ride for hours sounds like torture.And bonus - funny kid stories. Don’t yuck that yum.Wishing you and yours a heart-warming, soul-restoring day and season of gratitude to bolster us for what lies ahead.

Episode 29 kicks off with Kori anticipating the fatigue and stress that is hosting sleepovers for little ones. Laura thinks she’s lost her mind, hosting toddlers and preschoolers for a sleepover. Not even caffeine and wine can save you. We all agree that whoever put Halloween, Daylight Savings, and Election Day in the same week clearly hates us. We spend most of our time debriefing our lack of surprise, but sincere disappointment with the federal election outcomes from our perspectives: Keith as a white man in a red state, Kori as a Black woman in a blue state, and Laura as a white woman in a reddish-purple area of a blue state. We touch on Florida’s constitutional amendments to enshrine abortion rights and legalize marijuana that failed, representation, the importance of protecting transgender kids, how moving to Portugal is tempting, immigration, the perception of the economy, how we recovered and processed our feelings in the wake of the outcomes, the blue bracelet “trend,” how we won’t be storming the capitol, 34 felony charges that seem not to matter because of someone’s whiteness, how our government secrets will be by the toilet in MiraLago, and so much more. We focus on what’s true before the election that’s also true now - like our care for the vulnerable, love for our families, and showing up to do the work. We mourn how everyone will lose something - even if they don’t realize it yet, and we again flex our compassion muscle to try to understand what motivated folks to vote against their own interests. And we have to then craft a message and a platform that speaks to those needs. So we look ahead to next year’s governor’s race (in Virginia) and congressional midterms (2026) to put together a firewall against this administration - as well as actions we can take in our communities to organize and stand up for folks who will need us. And Kori shares more about her toddler and preschooler's plans for an epic sleepover. Godspeed, mama. Follow us on social media (@pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube), drop us a rating and review, and share episodes with your friends!

Kori shares the joys of having young kids in school for the first time. Germy, nasty funk. And they reminisced about the wonderful experience of attending a wedding where Laura was supporting her client, the father of the bride named Tony who is one of Kori’s oldest friends. Not only did Laura get to see Kori and her husband and sons, but she got to meet her parents, Joni and Dr. Chip! <Swoon> We discussed the sense of community Kori’s childhood church in Cali provided for her and her peers - and Laura got to meet so many of these folks at the wedding too. It was beautiful to behold. Kori shared how the parents in church looked out for all the kids, cheered them on - even gave them a place of respite when things got tricky with their own parents. Kori’s parents were very visible and involved - building their lives around being there for their three kids and all their friends. Laura shares how it was very important to her to “come correct” to a party that involved many people of color where she was a guest. From my client to Kori’s childhood friends to their parents - everyone welcomed her with open arms in a way that touched her deeply. Laura reflected how it takes a lot of bravery to be a person of color - particularly a Black woman - and be open to friendships with white folks - particularly white women - who are generally frequent perpetrators of microaggressive (if not aggressive) behavior. And Kori blew Laura’s mind by rightly acknowledging the privilege baked into being able to choose who to associate with in some spaces. She pointed out that in many workplaces as a Black woman - particular in academia - white women are the dominant group. Kori shared how she intentionally chose a neighborhood where she would not be a minority - and how she moves through predominantly white spaces with a sense of caution and awareness.Laura shared a post that stuck with her from Luvvie Ajayi about what it takes for Luvvie to have a sincere friendship with a white woman. We’ll post it on our website so you can see it. Kori and Laura reflect on what they appreciate in their friendship - permission to be fully human, to not diminish each others’ feelings, and to allow each other to process without judgment. We make each other better.And then Laura blushes as Kori shares some sweet stories about Laura’s kids. And Laura reciprocates with how much she loves being “Aunt Lola” to Kori’s boys. The ladies both agree how connections through blood aren’t everything - and how they have critical connections to people unrelated to them.Laura shared anxiety about the election, and Kori shared her take - how she’s less focused on our election and more about the power struggle between good and evil in the world more broadly - and how, as a Black woman, she knows minoritized groups will bear the brunt of whomever is in leadership because social change is a long game. Oof. After sharing our perspectives, which have some commonalities and differences, we come back to the shared experience of the wedding - and how this is JUST what we need. Chances to be human, to connect beyond difference, and see common humanity.Follow us on social media (@pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube), drop us a rating and review, and share episodes with your friends!

Laura and Kori finally are able to connect and recap after several months of life moving at the speed of a million WTFs per hour. 🙂Last time we chatted, Joe Biden was campaigning for president, Hurricane Helene hadn’t hit Appalachia yet, and Eminem wasn’t a grandfather.In our personal lives, we chat about Kori's work with the National School Climate Center, her beloved housecleaner, preschool adjustments. Laura shares a funny story about one of her unnamed children playing the recorder and hitting a surprise note. She also talks about parenting a child who’s best friend sustained a serious injury. So many questions to answer and emotions to process. We quickly talked about the Mayor of New York’s indictment, the Diddy indictments and the weird connection to Costco baby oil, a recent Saturday Night Live cold open, how we’re rewatching movies from our childhood without kids (and noticing how much has changed socially in our lifetime) and of course, we get to the big stuff.We point out the ridiculousness of sending billions to Israel (under a Democratic president) to purchase bombs used in a genocide while the Republican party can’t seem to find it in their hearts to vote to fund FEMA. This juxtaposition of values, investments, and lack of investment really smacks us in the face. Helene really shows us how quickly and unexpectedly we could become climate refugees - and yet the immigration crisis continues and politicians dehumanize folks who are displaced, seeking a better life - even legally! (see Haitians in Springfield, Ohio). We see how communications devices are turned into explosive devices in Lebanon as Israel attacks a sovereign nation, yet we (rightly) balk when Putin invades Ukraine. We have no coherent foreign policy and it’s so hard to stomach the hypocrisy. Same in our presidential election. We have someone with 34 felonies, twice impeached, and a convicted rapist practically tied with a woman of color who’s uniquely qualified. All this to say - vote - and look into your early voting options so you know your vote is in!We shift to the topic of school shootings and the regular practice of lockdown drills for our little ones - and yet this topic was missing from the presidential debate?!? Kori and Laura disagree about the saliency and likelihood of change related to common sense gun reform. We pivot though to the need to see the big picture and identify the connections between the conflicts and injustices in the world. Where there is a threat to power, there is violence and oppression. Prison systems, Sudan and Congo, Israel, the NRA and guns in schools, successful Black enclaves like in Central Park. It’s all a manifestation of colonialism and white supremacy in our world.We end in a call to look for the juxtapositions of our policies and our proclaimed values. What do we do and what do we say we care about? We remind listeners that our futures, as humans, are tied. Whatever we permit against one group of people will eventually be used against us. See the current injustices as canary in the coal mine. Find ways to resist. Use your voice, intentionally pursue joy, and exercise empathy and compassion every chance you get.Follow us on social media (@pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube), drop us a rating and review, and share episodes with your friends!

Season 4 starts now! Keith joins Laura and Kori to touch base mid-summer because Lord, y’all - so much is happening!  The three discuss the tension of living our individual lives with its daily rhythms, routines, and pressing “must dos” while acknowledging the big picture things happening in our world that we just cannot ignore! And boy oh boy are we tired of living in unprecedented times! Poor elder millennials - it’s all we know.Big macro forces include the ongoing genocide in Gaza, a shooting at a presidential campaign rally, famine in Sudan and DRC, exploitative mining practices in Congo, inflation, violations of the separation of church and state in Louisiana classrooms, dangerous and crazy Supreme Court decisions about homelessness, bribery, and presidential immunity, AIPAC bragging about influencing our elections, a felon leading the presidential race, Nazis marching in Nashville. Yet we have to pack for vacations, drive kids to camps, and make dinner.  Gah!We reflect on the events of recent weeks and have some takeaways.Americans consume violence as our entertainment - from the NFL to the Law and Order series to true crime podcasts. So why are we surprised when we see political violence? Violence is woven into the fabric of our nation’s history - particularly violence against native peoples and Africans captured and forced into slavery. And it only continued - see Tulsa Race Massacre - and even school shootings. Assassinations aren’t even new - see Lincoln, JFK, MLK. Yes we condemn violence, but let’s be clear - this is not new.Kori shares a terrifying, poignant memory of being a 10 year old girl in the backseat of her parents’ vehicle as the police pulled them over with SWAT and helicopters, assuming the car was stolen. Perhaps the shock is just new to white Americans?More than ever - community is everything - practically and strategically. Check on and take care of your people. Flex your empathy muscles. Don’t feel guilty about self-care. Remember - you’re putting out brush fires in your own life while a forest fire rages all around. Finding joy and healing spaces is critical. And even if you have the privilege to ignore what’s going on in the world - fight that urge.  Don’t be a rugged individualist. Lean in and recognize the power of the collective. And if you haven’t read about Project 2025, the time is now. So much dangerous wild stuff - from women’s rights to weather reports! Get educated about the stakes and talk about them with your people.And lighter topics of conversation include The Price is Right and how Bob Barker is better than Drew Carey as host. Streaming services with ads are making us cranky. Wasn’t the point of streaming to skip ads on cable? And all the categories of exercise classes in these handy dandy apps, The Outer Banks on Netflix, school supply shopping with a bajillion glue sticks, crazy school calendars, our vacation plans.Follow us on social media, as we want to hear from YOU! @pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube.The best ways to support us are by rating, reviewing, and sharing episodes with folks in your circle.

Episode 25 continues the conversation from Episode 24, focused on sharing the characteristics of White Supremacy Culture (WSC). We review the 15 characteristics from Tema Okun’s seminal work and then continue to unpack ways in which we see WSC in ourselves, in our society, and institutions. Examples include the prevalence of white men in positions of power in our workplaces. Laura shares her relationship with perfectionism and worship of the written word, and Kori confesses how a sense of urgency and defensiveness is something she has to actively note and work to disrupt. We both acknowledge the importance of self-talk as a strategy to work through moments where we see WSC in ourselves. We point out how most Americans fear open conflict, preferring instead to sweep problems out of sight to protect comfort. Our personal chat to wrap things up includes Kori’s annual crawfish boil, the Cowboy Carter album, the purchase of a moonbounce, how much her boys love travel, and potty training. Laura shares the plan for a fun summer full of swim team practices and even a week of sleep away camp - and the ladies sign off Season 3 with warm wishes for our listeners to enjoy wonderful time with their loved ones over our break. We’ll be back for Season 4 with some surprises, including more friends for you to meet!!Visit our new home on the web: www.pushingpastpolitepodcast.com for full show notes, transcripts, links to resources, and discussion prompts. Follow us on social media, as we want to hear from YOU! @pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube.

Episode 24 begins with misheard lyrics from a Jay Z and Alicia Keys song (thanks Popcast podcast). It makes no sense and isn’t appropriate for all audiences but you can’t unhear it. Kori asks if Laura’s heard Beyonce’s new Cowboy Carter album and phew! Has she ever! The backlash against Beyonce was the PERFECT segue into our topic for this pod - and next pod as we talked for a long time. Drum roll please! White. Supremacy. Culture. Kori grounds us in understanding culture in general, and then Laura shares the 15 characteristics of white supremacy culture from a seminal article by Dr. Tema Okun. They are: perfectionism, a sense of urgency, defensiveness, valuing quantity over quality, worship of the written word, only one right way, paternalism, either/or thinking, power hoarding, fear of open conflict, individualism, I'm the only one, progress is bigger and more, illusion of objectivity, and the right to comfort. Phew! Next, we trace evidence of white supremacy through country music, language in job descriptions, headlines about the impact of the eclipse on lost wages (WTH!), how one of our kiddos pretend works to avoid his sibling, and the unreasonable expectation of strong performance on evaluations. Kori, in a recent speaking engagement, was asked by a listener how to push back against perfectionism in herself and begin to unlearn it. We also address discomfort as not being the same as being in danger - and that’s where we leave off this time - thanking listeners for embracing elements of the pod that might have made them uncomfortable or defensive - and hopefully pushing past politeness to interrogate why so we can all root out white supremacy culture - in our society, but first in our own thinking.Visit our new home on the web: www.pushingpastpolitepodcast.com for full show notes, transcripts, links to resources, and discussion prompts. Follow us on social media, as we want to hear from YOU! @pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube.