Pushing Past Polite

Kori shares the joys of having young kids in school for the first time. Germy, nasty funk. And they reminisced about the wonderful experience of attending a wedding where Laura was supporting her client, the father of the bride named Tony who is one of Kori’s oldest friends. Not only did Laura get to see Kori and her husband and sons, but she got to meet her parents, Joni and Dr. Chip! <Swoon> We discussed the sense of community Kori’s childhood church in Cali provided for her and her peers - and Laura got to meet so many of these folks at the wedding too. It was beautiful to behold. Kori shared how the parents in church looked out for all the kids, cheered them on - even gave them a place of respite when things got tricky with their own parents. Kori’s parents were very visible and involved - building their lives around being there for their three kids and all their friends. Laura shares how it was very important to her to “come correct” to a party that involved many people of color where she was a guest. From my client to Kori’s childhood friends to their parents - everyone welcomed her with open arms in a way that touched her deeply. Laura reflected how it takes a lot of bravery to be a person of color - particularly a Black woman - and be open to friendships with white folks - particularly white women - who are generally frequent perpetrators of microaggressive (if not aggressive) behavior. And Kori blew Laura’s mind by rightly acknowledging the privilege baked into being able to choose who to associate with in some spaces. She pointed out that in many workplaces as a Black woman - particular in academia - white women are the dominant group. Kori shared how she intentionally chose a neighborhood where she would not be a minority - and how she moves through predominantly white spaces with a sense of caution and awareness.Laura shared a post that stuck with her from Luvvie Ajayi about what it takes for Luvvie to have a sincere friendship with a white woman. We’ll post it on our website so you can see it. Kori and Laura reflect on what they appreciate in their friendship - permission to be fully human, to not diminish each others’ feelings, and to allow each other to process without judgment. We make each other better.And then Laura blushes as Kori shares some sweet stories about Laura’s kids. And Laura reciprocates with how much she loves being “Aunt Lola” to Kori’s boys. The ladies both agree how connections through blood aren’t everything - and how they have critical connections to people unrelated to them.Laura shared anxiety about the election, and Kori shared her take - how she’s less focused on our election and more about the power struggle between good and evil in the world more broadly - and how, as a Black woman, she knows minoritized groups will bear the brunt of whomever is in leadership because social change is a long game. Oof. After sharing our perspectives, which have some commonalities and differences, we come back to the shared experience of the wedding - and how this is JUST what we need. Chances to be human, to connect beyond difference, and see common humanity.Follow us on social media (@pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube), drop us a rating and review, and share episodes with your friends!

Laura and Kori finally are able to connect and recap after several months of life moving at the speed of a million WTFs per hour. 🙂Last time we chatted, Joe Biden was campaigning for president, Hurricane Helene hadn’t hit Appalachia yet, and Eminem wasn’t a grandfather.In our personal lives, we chat about Kori's work with the National School Climate Center, her beloved housecleaner, preschool adjustments. Laura shares a funny story about one of her unnamed children playing the recorder and hitting a surprise note. She also talks about parenting a child who’s best friend sustained a serious injury. So many questions to answer and emotions to process. We quickly talked about the Mayor of New York’s indictment, the Diddy indictments and the weird connection to Costco baby oil, a recent Saturday Night Live cold open, how we’re rewatching movies from our childhood without kids (and noticing how much has changed socially in our lifetime) and of course, we get to the big stuff.We point out the ridiculousness of sending billions to Israel (under a Democratic president) to purchase bombs used in a genocide while the Republican party can’t seem to find it in their hearts to vote to fund FEMA. This juxtaposition of values, investments, and lack of investment really smacks us in the face. Helene really shows us how quickly and unexpectedly we could become climate refugees - and yet the immigration crisis continues and politicians dehumanize folks who are displaced, seeking a better life - even legally! (see Haitians in Springfield, Ohio). We see how communications devices are turned into explosive devices in Lebanon as Israel attacks a sovereign nation, yet we (rightly) balk when Putin invades Ukraine. We have no coherent foreign policy and it’s so hard to stomach the hypocrisy. Same in our presidential election. We have someone with 34 felonies, twice impeached, and a convicted rapist practically tied with a woman of color who’s uniquely qualified. All this to say - vote - and look into your early voting options so you know your vote is in!We shift to the topic of school shootings and the regular practice of lockdown drills for our little ones - and yet this topic was missing from the presidential debate?!? Kori and Laura disagree about the saliency and likelihood of change related to common sense gun reform. We pivot though to the need to see the big picture and identify the connections between the conflicts and injustices in the world. Where there is a threat to power, there is violence and oppression. Prison systems, Sudan and Congo, Israel, the NRA and guns in schools, successful Black enclaves like in Central Park. It’s all a manifestation of colonialism and white supremacy in our world.We end in a call to look for the juxtapositions of our policies and our proclaimed values. What do we do and what do we say we care about? We remind listeners that our futures, as humans, are tied. Whatever we permit against one group of people will eventually be used against us. See the current injustices as canary in the coal mine. Find ways to resist. Use your voice, intentionally pursue joy, and exercise empathy and compassion every chance you get.Follow us on social media (@pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube), drop us a rating and review, and share episodes with your friends!

Season 4 starts now! Keith joins Laura and Kori to touch base mid-summer because Lord, y’all - so much is happening!  The three discuss the tension of living our individual lives with its daily rhythms, routines, and pressing “must dos” while acknowledging the big picture things happening in our world that we just cannot ignore! And boy oh boy are we tired of living in unprecedented times! Poor elder millennials - it’s all we know.Big macro forces include the ongoing genocide in Gaza, a shooting at a presidential campaign rally, famine in Sudan and DRC, exploitative mining practices in Congo, inflation, violations of the separation of church and state in Louisiana classrooms, dangerous and crazy Supreme Court decisions about homelessness, bribery, and presidential immunity, AIPAC bragging about influencing our elections, a felon leading the presidential race, Nazis marching in Nashville. Yet we have to pack for vacations, drive kids to camps, and make dinner.  Gah!We reflect on the events of recent weeks and have some takeaways.Americans consume violence as our entertainment - from the NFL to the Law and Order series to true crime podcasts. So why are we surprised when we see political violence? Violence is woven into the fabric of our nation’s history - particularly violence against native peoples and Africans captured and forced into slavery. And it only continued - see Tulsa Race Massacre - and even school shootings. Assassinations aren’t even new - see Lincoln, JFK, MLK. Yes we condemn violence, but let’s be clear - this is not new.Kori shares a terrifying, poignant memory of being a 10 year old girl in the backseat of her parents’ vehicle as the police pulled them over with SWAT and helicopters, assuming the car was stolen. Perhaps the shock is just new to white Americans?More than ever - community is everything - practically and strategically. Check on and take care of your people. Flex your empathy muscles. Don’t feel guilty about self-care. Remember - you’re putting out brush fires in your own life while a forest fire rages all around. Finding joy and healing spaces is critical. And even if you have the privilege to ignore what’s going on in the world - fight that urge.  Don’t be a rugged individualist. Lean in and recognize the power of the collective. And if you haven’t read about Project 2025, the time is now. So much dangerous wild stuff - from women’s rights to weather reports! Get educated about the stakes and talk about them with your people.And lighter topics of conversation include The Price is Right and how Bob Barker is better than Drew Carey as host. Streaming services with ads are making us cranky. Wasn’t the point of streaming to skip ads on cable? And all the categories of exercise classes in these handy dandy apps, The Outer Banks on Netflix, school supply shopping with a bajillion glue sticks, crazy school calendars, our vacation plans.Follow us on social media, as we want to hear from YOU! @pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube.The best ways to support us are by rating, reviewing, and sharing episodes with folks in your circle.

Episode 25 continues the conversation from Episode 24, focused on sharing the characteristics of White Supremacy Culture (WSC). We review the 15 characteristics from Tema Okun’s seminal work and then continue to unpack ways in which we see WSC in ourselves, in our society, and institutions. Examples include the prevalence of white men in positions of power in our workplaces. Laura shares her relationship with perfectionism and worship of the written word, and Kori confesses how a sense of urgency and defensiveness is something she has to actively note and work to disrupt. We both acknowledge the importance of self-talk as a strategy to work through moments where we see WSC in ourselves. We point out how most Americans fear open conflict, preferring instead to sweep problems out of sight to protect comfort. Our personal chat to wrap things up includes Kori’s annual crawfish boil, the Cowboy Carter album, the purchase of a moonbounce, how much her boys love travel, and potty training. Laura shares the plan for a fun summer full of swim team practices and even a week of sleep away camp - and the ladies sign off Season 3 with warm wishes for our listeners to enjoy wonderful time with their loved ones over our break. We’ll be back for Season 4 with some surprises, including more friends for you to meet!!Visit our new home on the web: www.pushingpastpolitepodcast.com for full show notes, transcripts, links to resources, and discussion prompts. Follow us on social media, as we want to hear from YOU! @pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube.

Episode 24 begins with misheard lyrics from a Jay Z and Alicia Keys song (thanks Popcast podcast). It makes no sense and isn’t appropriate for all audiences but you can’t unhear it. Kori asks if Laura’s heard Beyonce’s new Cowboy Carter album and phew! Has she ever! The backlash against Beyonce was the PERFECT segue into our topic for this pod - and next pod as we talked for a long time. Drum roll please! White. Supremacy. Culture. Kori grounds us in understanding culture in general, and then Laura shares the 15 characteristics of white supremacy culture from a seminal article by Dr. Tema Okun. They are: perfectionism, a sense of urgency, defensiveness, valuing quantity over quality, worship of the written word, only one right way, paternalism, either/or thinking, power hoarding, fear of open conflict, individualism, I'm the only one, progress is bigger and more, illusion of objectivity, and the right to comfort. Phew! Next, we trace evidence of white supremacy through country music, language in job descriptions, headlines about the impact of the eclipse on lost wages (WTH!), how one of our kiddos pretend works to avoid his sibling, and the unreasonable expectation of strong performance on evaluations. Kori, in a recent speaking engagement, was asked by a listener how to push back against perfectionism in herself and begin to unlearn it. We also address discomfort as not being the same as being in danger - and that’s where we leave off this time - thanking listeners for embracing elements of the pod that might have made them uncomfortable or defensive - and hopefully pushing past politeness to interrogate why so we can all root out white supremacy culture - in our society, but first in our own thinking.Visit our new home on the web: www.pushingpastpolitepodcast.com for full show notes, transcripts, links to resources, and discussion prompts. Follow us on social media, as we want to hear from YOU! @pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube. 

Episode 23 begins with a raunchy smell and a diaper change. Aren’t you glad this is a strictly audio medium and not smell-o-vision? Like the poop in Kori’s son’s diaper, we discuss the less-than-fragrant choices at the top of the ticket this November. That said, Laura is encouraged by the ever-so-slight, but significant movement she’s seen among U.S. leaders on Gaza. We have more power than we realize! Influencing the algorithm, having courageous conversations, voting uncommitted - it’s sending a message loud and clear! Laura brings up the concept of the Overton Window and how it shifts over time due to social forces. Kori shares how the war on Gaza is illuminating colonial power and oppression all over the globe in new and powerful ways for people. More and more folks are realizing the connectedness in these issues - and how our liberation is tied to the liberation of everyone around the world. Keith reminds us about the stark nature of our choices at the top of the ticket - and how tr*mp would be worse for the Palestinians - and women, and people of color, and democracy, and and and. Kori reminds us about the importance of every elected office - up and down the ballot - and not to get overly fixated or frustrated by just the presidency.  The House and Senate control the budget priorities. The Senate confirms judges and cabinet members. Heck, local school boards are deciding what books your children can read! Remember, if your vote didn’t matter, folks with power wouldn’t work so hard to disenfranchise others. Laura confesses her naivety, years ago, when she thought Republicans would play by the rules and the party would lose the majority and therefore the power, ushering in a new era of more progressive thinking.  Ha! Isn’t she precious?  People of color have long known that systems are erected purposely to keep power and create “others.” Evil shapeshifts. While we believe the Democratic party is more likely to listen to the needs of the people out here, Kori wants to hear more of a positive vision for the future from leaders. Not just - “at least we’re not as bad as the other guy.” I mean if only leaders could get as excited and work together for health care as they do about banning Tik Tok… Just saying! Laura just has to sneak in some Kate Middleton talk, and while we wish her well as she focuses on her health, how does the monarchy make sense anymore?? Get yourself out of this messed up family! There is nothing special about your bloodline.  You are stuck in a gilded cage so citizens can gawk at you.  Blech!  That said, I’m sure a presidential challenger wouldn’t mind setting up his dynasty here in the U.S. so we have to be vigilant, use our voices, and push for representation that values humanity!Visit our new home on the web: www.pushingpastpolitepodcast.com for full show notes, transcripts, links to resources, and discussion prompts. Follow us on social media, as we want to hear from YOU! @pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube.