Progressively Horrified

Welcome to Lesbian Vampire November, courtesy of our dear friend Sara Century. And we're starting it off with a bang. Several bangs. Banging, if you will.Don't worry, as the title says, the titties are plot relevant. Who needs a questionable consent bestie, when she has a mistress who is hot and ready? Hammer horror, man. Inadvertently making the most sapphic vampire film of the time.Who's responsible for this?Director: Roy Ward BakerWriters: Sheridan Le Fanu (writer of Carmilla), Harry Fine, Tudor GatesStars: Ingrid Pitt, Pippa Steele, Madeline Smith, Peter Cushing, Kate O’MaraWhat do we recommend?Jeremy - THE BRIDE!, Date EverythingEmily - Goodbye Lara, YellowjacketsSara - My Wild Heart Bleeds for You - A Lesbian Vampire Zine

The beginning of our new Patreon Series!Since we wrapped up talking about the Wachowskis last month, the day after Halloween seemed like the perfect time to start up our new Progressively Horrified Patreon exclusive series. And, as with all of these, we're going to make the first one available to all listeners and each following one Patreon exclusive. So, if you want to hear us talk about Karl Urban playing Johnny Cage in Mortal Kombat II, you better get over to Patreon and show us a little love. $5 is more than enough to get all of our bonus episodes over there.But this time it's Resident Evil, the 2026 adaptation, which is notably not a remake of the first attempt at making a Resident Evil movie or the second attempt at making a Resident Evil franchise (Welcome to Raccoon City). And it's by podcast favorite Zack Cregger, so you knew we couldn't pass it up!Who's responsible for this? Director: Zach CreggerWriters: Zach Cregger Shay HattenStars: Austin Abrams, Zach Cherry, Kali Reis, Paul Walter HauserRecommendations:Emily - Gemini Home EntertainmentBen - LanternsJeremy - Date Everything

I fucking hate this fucking movie with all the passion I have left in this shell of a body. Ridley Scott cursed us with this franchise in 1979 and it's been slowly killing us ever since.Who's responsible for this shit?Director: Fede AlvarezWriters: Fede Alvarez with credits to Dan Obannon and Ronald ShusettStars: Cailee Spaney, David Johsson, Archi Reneaux, Isabela Merced, Spike Fearn, Aileen WuRecommendations:Emily - Dominion Tank PoliceBen - Coyote Vs ACMEJeremy - AEW All In, Akira Kurasawa’s High and Low

What a deeply and totally unpolished turd.And now that I'm done talking about James Woods, now for the rest of this movie!Who is responsible for this?Director: John CarpenterWriters: Don Jakoby, based on the novel by John SteakleyStars: James Woods (notorious Hollywood shithead, known for being in Kingdom Hearts and suing anyone who doesn’t agree with him, incl his harassment victoms), Daniel Baldwin (b list Baldwin but at least he didn’t shoot anyone afaik), Sheryl Lee (Laura Palmer! She should have stayed in the Black Lodge), Thomas Ian Griffith (martial artist and yet not the hero of this film), Maximillian Schell (he is German), and more! Wait, is that Shang Tsung?????What do we recommend?Emily - Rockula, any other Vampire movie. Also Tim Curry and Dolly Parton RIPBen - Near Dark, What We Do in the Shadows, Avatar AangJeremy - Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma

When we said we were covering some shitty, dusty ass, good for nothing movies that were best not remembered at all...wait, why did we decide to do this again?Who's Responsible for this?Director: Alex KurtzmanWriters: David Koepp, Christopher Macquarrie, Dylan KussmanStars: Tom Cruise, Sofia Bourtella, Annabelle Wallis, Jake Johnson, Russell Crowe, Courtney B. VanceWhat do we recommend?Emily - StargateBen - Research flock cameras, Yu-gi-oJeremy - Predator: killer of killers

Who's Responsible for this?Director: David F SandburgWriters: David F Sandburg, Eric HeissererStars: Teresa Palmer, Gabriel Bateman, Maria Bello, Alexander DiPersia, Billy BurkeWhat do we recommend?Emily - How to Make Jorts by BDGBen - Ted Lasso, Mother’s Basement: The Best Worst Anime StudioJeremy - Tony, Hellraiser Judgement

Don't delete this podcast thinking you already listened to it last week! Influencers is the sequel to Influencer. That's right, Kurtis David Harder is the James Cameron of hot social media murderers! Cassandra Naud is back as CW and this time she's in love! And her girlfriend is French, so if you like your lesbian murderers with a baguette in the bicycle basket, boy have we got the movie for you!Who's Responsible for this:Director: Kurtis David HarderWriters: Kurtis David HarderStars: Cassandra Naud, Emily Tennant, Lisa Delamar. Veronica Long, Georgina Campbell, Jonathan WhitesellRecommendations:Emmanuel - Seek app by iNaturalistSara - Sailor Moon Dream Arc, X-Men, We Can Only Save OurselvesEmily - Going Outside, Widow’s Bay, BodiesBen - CollateralJeremy - Magical Boy, Yojimbo, Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Two months of Pride wasn't enough, so the queer horror keeps on coming all through August. Now it's time to meet your badass lesbian femme fatale mommy, C.W., a woman who literally murders a woman by stepping on her. She hates social media...like...more than the normal amount.Who's responsible for this?Director: Kurtis David HarderWriters: Kurtis David Harder, Tesh GuttikondaStars: Cassandra Naud, Emily Tennant, Rory J. Saper, Sara Canning, Justin Sams, Paul SpurrierRecommendations for the week:Sara - Audio books of bleak nonfiction (Plastic Ink), documentaries, Shudder Horror (Deadly Spawn), Emmanuel -  Dungeon Crawler CarlEmily - Dean Spade’s Mutual Aid, Tiny Gardens EverywhereBen - Sense8, Galaxy: The Prettiest Star, Galaxy: As the World Falls Down, SissyJeremy - Witch Hat Atelier, Grant Morrisson’s New X-Men, Usagi Yojimbo, Crime of Passion

Did you ever wonder what happens to the mail that you screwed up the address on? Well, this movie is going to answer that...but then not be about that at all. This movie is gonna throw a lot of things at you...and then keep moving?Who's responsible for this?Director: Joe DeBoer, Kyle McConaghyWriters: Joe DeBoer, Kyle McConaghyStars: Sterling Macer Jr, John Fleck, Thomas Boykin, Micki Jackson, Susan PriverRecommendations:Michael - DTF St. LouisEmily - Look Mum, No computer - analog synthesizers on YouTubeJeremy - Librarians, ALA, Dust Bunny, They Will Kill You