The Pom-posity Diaries

Having just surfaced from a stupor lasting a year due to alcoholic consumption the like of which he has not been accustomed to coming from leafy Hertfordshire, Blighty, Simon reflects on his first year in Oz.

Though clearly still suffering the effects of alcoholic pickling the previous year, some investigation of his surroundings reveals a possible cause for his famous inebriation. Some clarity of purpose brings much needed direction but confusion still very much ensues.

In this most confronting of dispatches Simon receives a guest in "Mick", where a few home truths are revealed and a heinous cultural blunder met head on. Two military warriors are first wary but slowly warm to one another after sharing tales of derring-do and finally part company with much mutual respect.An encounter with two Aussie strangers reveals a truth that should have been apparent from the start.

After an incredible display of reverence and respect for Simon's eski by two Aussie strangers encountered on the way to Aaron's soiree, the pair arrive at the party where Simon holds court and some light is shed on his abilities to charm. However news of his lack of eski etiquette has reached his host and Aaron is not happy!

Having luckily avoided prosecution for operation of a mobile eski without the proper licence to do so on the previous night. Simon takes up the advice of his wife's cousin Aaron and attends Dan Murphy's alcoholic emporium for mobile eski competency test training.Follow the antics of his test assessor and his wife's cousin as they run rings around our unsuspecting hero!

Simon's achievement in attaining the coveted mobile eski handling license is celebrated at Dan Murphys alcoholic emporium thanks to his mentor and test assessor Wayne.

Having got through another day in Paradise, Simon encounters some natural insect activity in his back yard whilst supping on his constitutional evening Pink Gin, immediately followed by another which horrifies and disturbs him.

In this ninth dispatch the murky world of the illuminati is touched upon and Simon's experience of it is brought to bear. How it is responsible for Corona and his determination to prove it through Cousin David's help. Though David has not been helpful, that is until Brothe Benji gets in touch!