Plumbing the Death Star
Which Would be the Worst Ape to Have Raised Tarzan?
We all know Tarzan being raised by ape was inevitable, but what if different ape?? Confused by the theory of evolution, the boys become wary of making apes too clever and get scared by what comes next. Zammit puts forward Bigfoot with their skills of hide and seek, Jackson suggests the Wifeless Wonder himself, Gorilla Grodd and his need for a human to be the face of his criminal empire while JD looks at the coconut throwing jewel thief that is Dunston from Dunston Checks In and how that orangutan cannot handle any form of criticism. But be it Bigfoot, Gorilla Grodd or Dunston we should all be thankful that Tarzan wasn’t raised by the worst real ape: mandrill. A horrible and nasty creature. Loathed by all and the closest we have on god’s green earth that resembles a xenomorph. If all dogs go to heaven, every mandrills goes to hell, where they flourish.
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510. Do You Even Receive a Good Education at Xaviers School for Gifted Youngsters?54:20Oh no, in a weird twist of fate Johnny Allspikes is shooting spikes from all over his body and that young boy has turned into a ham dinner! Best send them off to that school that deals with this kind of thing. Sure Charles Xavier (who we’re pretty sure is a professor) might be able to help them with their mutant powers or whatever, but can he give them a good education? We delve into past teachers at the academy, offer alternative teaching methods and really focus in on the Mathlympics. All we know is that come graduation day we’re going to be sweating bullets (metaphorically and for some of us maybe literally) as we look off into the horizon in anticipation of some kind of sentinel, friend of humanity, bad mutant or us from the future to come over and ruin our day. Hopefully nothing will appear and we’ll just get to kiss Xavier on top of his bald head and never have to join the X-Men.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+
PtDS+ What Would You Do With Two Dads aka How Would You Monetise Skrulls?50:16Answering the important questions too important to ask the general public.
509. How Would You Use a Multiverse for Personal Profit of Financial Gain?52:22Oh no da boys have done it again, tripped over with their pants around their ankles and fallen through the portal that goes to every universe. They also did a little fart when they fell. We look at the pros and cons of Scott Bakulaing v Jerry O’Connelling and when dealt with infinite possibilities the answer is always yes. And no. Zammit uses the multiverse to go to the beach, take ambien and fall into a deep depression, JD wins the lottery and stands with her (in holy matrimony) and Jackson lives in constant fear of being the only Jackson with hair. So let’s all have a quick stop into porno-realm before going on to Oneing ourselves and end our multiverse sojourn by ruining a horses day.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+
Plumbing the Death Star is now on YouTube02:24All the links right here on this linktr.ee! Wow! So efficient!
508. How Would You Market the Xenomorphs to Regular People?57:16Do you have a delinquent son? Your child playing up and you don’t know what to do? Or maybe you just want your kid to have the best possible start on the journey that is life? Well do we have a solution for you! With this here fachugger we can cocoon your boy and like a beautiful moth emerging after going through a not-at-all-terrifying metamorphosis, your child will emerge like they were a brand guy! With drive! Ambition! A little guy on their tongue! Spooky as all hell! But if that’s not your speed and you’re on of those freaks that’s an exotic pet enthusiast we have this little fella here that swims real good we think. Plus we’ll even throw in the acid proof glass you’ll need for your aquarium and or terrarium. Why do you need that? Don’t worry about it, perhaps that isn’t for you and maybe you’ll be interested in becoming an investor in our brand new patented technology of acid mining! Where we safely put these Alien creatures in a pit and use all those bullets we have too much of to safely put down layers and layers of acid. It’ll melt away all that dirt and rock and leave only the precious dirt and rock we want we reckon. Get in now while the gettin’s good! Xenomorphs: it’s for everyone!Links to everything in this brand new thing called a "link tree" that surely we're not years behind in getting?
507. Is it so Bad That the Skrulls are Here Now hmm?48:42The more we keep thinking about Skrulls the more questions we keep having. The biggest problem with Skrulls are if they’re even a problem. Sure they can look like your dad but who cares? Some people said I looked like Jeff Buckley when I was younger, didn’t do much for me or Jeff (he was dead at the time). Now if I had done a Talented Mr Ripley on ol’ Jeffy boy, that’s bad! But I didn’t, so who cares? Plus why are the Skrulls relying on Fury for anything? The Skrulls are better than humans on every level. The Skrulls are Skrulls! Fury’s an old man! This show is silly, we advise you don’t watch it. Two dads tho? Now there’s a show. Three? My three dads?? That’s money for jam.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys+ on our website or Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys.
506. Could You Survive the Cars Universe As You Are Now?53:10Oh no da boys have done it again, tripped over with their pants around their ankles and fallen through the portal that goes to the Cars universe. They also did a little fart when they fell. Now they’re living in a world where the cars are alive, the animals are cars and even the planes are cars! Going through Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the gang quickly stumble on the first and barely get to the second. With more questions than answers we at least know we can eat their tongues and (maybe) eyes. New sentences are formed this week as fumes from all these cars bleeds into the studio and the dumbest things possible just fall from our mouths.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys+ on our website or Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys.
What If Phoenix Had Not Died?44:55In 1977 Marvel attempted to answer the important questions with their What If…? line of comics. They Failed. Now in the year of 2023 the Plumbing Boys have picked up the slack and dared to ask once again: What if?
505. Would You Be a Better Wilson Than Wilson in Castaway?48:10Wilson, the famous volley ball, barely does anything in that movie wherein he plays famous volley ball and life coach to Mr Tom Castaways. In fact he even abandons Mr Castaways and the penultimate scene in the movie! Some might say he was thrown overboard and it was a tragic end for Wilson, but you’d be wrong. So we figured we’d have a crack at being a famous volley ball and life coach. We can provide great companionship, we’re yappy and LOVE to run our mouths plus we’d gossip about all the other inanimate objects we’ve grown attached to like rope, rock and crab. So close your eyes, take your hands off the wheel and set controls to manual as it’s time for everyone’s favourite show: Pilot Distraction Hour!Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys+ on our website or Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys.