Share

PLAYING-IT-SAFE
98. The Goal Trap: Why Your Goals are Keeping You Stuck
"I want to finish this project" sounds like moving toward something. But, underneath it is often "I'm terrified of what it means if I don't."
New episode of Playing-It-Safe: the three goal traps and the research on what actually produces commitment, satisfaction, and follow-through.
What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe?
_______
STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS
WHO AM I?
My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.
I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).
I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.
I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.
My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!
GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:
Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/
HERE IS WHERE TO START:
1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/
2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/
3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/
4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/
5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/
More episodes
View all episodes

101. Mind Gossip: When Your Thoughts Become Your Enemy
12:50|The presentation went well. For two days after, he couldn't stop replaying the four seconds when he lost his train of thought.His mind decided those four seconds were the truth about the whole thing, not the standing ovation. The four seconds.That's overvaluing and overidentifying with your thoughts, which is playing-it-safe behavior #7.In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we call it cognitive fusion, and research shows that the harder you try to push the thought away, the louder it comes back.The skill isn't changing the thought. It's changing your relationship to it._______STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONSWHO AM I?My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/HERE IS WHERE TO START:1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/
100. How to Actually Do the Thing
10:17|After a distraction, it takes an average of 23 minutes to return to the original task.Not because you're weak. Because your environment was built using the same behavioral principles as slot machines to pull your attention away from what matters.Final episode of the Anxious Procrastinator series, the neuroscience of focus and what committed action actually looks like when you bring everything together.What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe?_______STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONSWHO AM I?My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/HERE IS WHERE TO START:1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/
99. You Don't Have a Time Problem. You Have a Time Story.
08:32|Accurately estimating how hard something will be requires sitting with the discomfort of its difficulty. And your mind would rather not.In this new episode of Playing-It-Safe we discussed the research on time, flow states, and four principles that actually work for overthinkers and overachievers.What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe?_______STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONSWHO AM I?My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/HERE IS WHERE TO START:1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/
97. Your Mind is Lying to You About Why You Can't Start
09:05|Your mind has a highly convincing list of reasons why right now isn’t the right time.In this episode, we unpack why those excuses sound so incredibly rational, how your brain uses them to keep you safe (and stuck), and the one behavioral shift that actually moves you forward._______STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONSWHO AM I?My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/HERE IS WHERE TO START:1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/
96. The Second Arrow, Why Being Hard on Yourself is Keeping You Stuck
08:39|Most high achievers believe being hard on themselves is what keeps them sharp.The research disagrees.People with higher self-compassion show greater motivation after failure, not less. And they procrastinate significantly less.New episode of the Playing-It-Safe Podcast: why the second arrow might be the thing most keeping you stuck.What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe?_______STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONSWHO AM I?My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/HERE IS WHERE TO START:1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/
95. Stop Chasing Goals. Start Living Your Values.
09:02|External achievements account for only about 10% of lasting happiness.The 40% within your control? How you spend your time and what meaning you attach to it.New episode of the Playing-It-Safe Podcast: the research on values, meaning, and the birthday party exercise that shows you exactly where the gap is.What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe?_______STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONSWHO AM I?My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/HERE IS WHERE TO START:1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/
94. You're Not Lazy, Your Mind is Just Very Good at This
09:03|Your mind isn't lazy!Researchers found that people who chronically procrastinate are more threat-sensitive. Not less motivated.What would you do this week if you weren't playing it safe?RESOURCES:Values-based Review: Life Audit_______STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONSWHO AM I?My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z.I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties.I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes.My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life!GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX:Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/HERE IS WHERE TO START:1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/
93. Understanding Procrastination: The Psychological Processes Behind It
13:34|In this episode, Dr. Z. dives deep into the world of procrastination, debunking common myths, exploring the different types of procrastinators, and unpacking the psychological processes that fuel our tendency to delay.Debunking the Myths of ProcrastinationMany of us have internalized misconceptions about procrastination. Dr. Z. tackles these head-on, revealing that procrastination is rarely about laziness or poor time management. Instead, it often stems from deeper psychological factors. For example, the myth that people “work better under pressure” is just that—a myth. Research shows that last-minute work rarely leads to better results and often increases stress. Similarly, blaming procrastination on a lack of willpower oversimplifies the issue; it’s more about understanding and addressing the underlying factors that drive problematic procrastination.Six Reflective Questions to Break the CycleDr. Z. shares six reflective questions to unpack the psychological roots of procrastinating behaviors.(*) Show notes and resources of this episode(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses