Please Don't Take Me Home

Comedian, Taskmaster contestant and lifelong Crystal Palace supporter Chloe Petts joins Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly to celebrate FA Cup glory, mysterious Roy Hodgson sightings and living on a desert island with Paul Scholes.Chloe explains why she trained to become a referee before deciding the job required too much “cop energy” and reveals how corrupt she would be if asked to run the line at Palace.She also relives the overwhelming emotion of watching Palace finally win the FA Cup, remembers the Arsenal defeat that taught her about boundaries and self-esteem, and Jim tells us about the goalless away day that ended with Bovril running down the back of his white T-shirt.You can watch Chloe on Taksmaster on Channel 4, and give her a follow, here

Please Don’t Take Me Home is a football podcast about the day, not the game.Each week, Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly are joined by a notable football fan to celebrate the joy, pain and beautiful nonsense of supporting a team, from unforgettable matches and disastrous away days to pies, pints and questionable decisions.

It’s the final Away Days of the season and Producer Will steps out from behind the laptop to join Woody and Piers for a chaotic look back at the year. There’s talk of Southend’s Wembley glory and managerial heartbreak, Plymouth away days in the spring sunshine, and whether seeing Wealdstone four times in one season should be legally allowed. The lads revisit some of the best stories from the series so far, including Joey Page’s hellish trip to Madrid, Charlie Baker’s Babacombe Model Village campaign, Terry Alderton’s unbelievable Marc Bosnich story, and the ongoing mystery of why Mark Bosnich was also spotted tenpin bowling on his own. There’s also football espionage, cancelled playoff finals, fake COVID inspectors, terrible hangovers, playoff heartbreak, and the emotional damage caused by loving football clubs. A fittingly rambling end to another season of Away Days. ⁠Please do buy us a coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279  Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, Woody and Piers are joined by Jon Beer, Exeter City fan and co-host of You Don’t Know What You’re Doing, for one of the bleakest away day stories the show has ever heard. There’s plenty on lower-league obsession, Devon derby anxiety, Ollie Watkins pride, fan-owned football, why nobody needs a “Prem team”, and the strange burden of caring far too much about 11 men in shorts. Jon also explains why his family once travelled to Wembley during Covid to watch Exeter lose a play-off final on a laptop outside the stadium. A truly heroic low point. ⁠Please do buy us a Coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279  Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Felix White returns for part two, taking Woody and Piers from the San Siro’s terrifyingly organised ultras to Penrith’s very accommodating chairman, via MK Dons vs AFC Wimbledon, FA Cup romance, away goals, train etiquette, service station literature and why being a Fulham fan feels very different to being a cricket fan. There’s also playoff heartbreak for Piers, end-of-season maths for Woody, a cow-based football injury, David Platt appreciation, and a question every football fan needs to worry about: home games or away days forever? Get Felix's incredible book here ⁠Please do buy us a coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279  Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Felix White joins Woody and Piers for Part 1 of a brilliant chat about Fulham, first away days, Craven Cottage, the strange comfort of supporting a club that lets you suffer properly, and why football can explain who you are before you’ve even worked it out yourself. Before that, Piers is deep in playoff anxiety, Woody is doing mathematical gymnastics, and the boys relive the chaos, limbs and full-body drama of Rochdale v York City, possibly the greatest away day of all time. Part 2 with Felix continues next week. ⁠Please do buy us a coffee to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279  Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, Piers and Woody take the letter J to some very interesting places. First up it is St Johnstone, where the chat includes Perth, purpose-built stadiums, questionable celebrity fans and the sort of away day logistics that can make or break a Scottish football weekend. Then it is on to Turin and Juventus, with grand history, glamour, Notts County roots, and the very real possibility of Piers accidentally planning an Italian minibreak entirely around pasta classes and Irish pubs. And then things head to India. Thanks to former player Peter Hartley, the lads get a glimpse into life at Jamshedpur, where football is huge, the crowds are massive, and the local wildlife seems fully committed to ruining your sleep. Geckos in wardrobes, ants on Dairy Milk and giant snakes make this one of the weirdest and most entertaining Away Days detours yet. ⁠Please do buy us a coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279  Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Comedian and Celtic fan James Gardner joins Woody and Piers to share his love for the SPL, disdain for Arsenal's lack of atmosphere (and it's hot air policy) and talks about the time he completed away days. Follow James on Instagram here ⁠Please do buy us a coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279  Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices