Parenting The Adlerian Way

We all know connection is the basis of a relationship but what does it mean and how do we get it? Listen in! Valerie learned Adlerian parenting from me, and I learned about the Enneagram from her. She brings both together in order to gain a deeper understanding of what it means to really connect with our children, and she discusses her formula “Presence + Self Awareness + Self Compassion = Connection”. Valerie breaks it it all down and you get to hear about me as an example of being an Enneagram 2 - “The Helper” - and how that helps me as well as how it can be my saboteur!  Valerie also generously offered up a huge amount of value-add to our community of listeners which I highly recommend everyone take advantage of! Here are the offerings she is gifting us: 1. FREE EXCLUSIVE GUIDE FOR ALYSON'S PODCAST LISTENERS. GUIDE INCLUDES:  Enneagram Type summaries and key takeaways discussed in the podcast 5 ways to discover your Enneagram TypeYouTube links to learn the strengths and challenges of each Enneagram TypeTop recommended parenting books according to Enneagram Type Tips for returning to presence & connection https://valerie-tih-at-joyfull-coaching.kit.com/067edae0f72.  $20 OFF VALERIE TIH'S ENNEAGRAM DISCOVERY PACKAGE: Learn about your Enneagram Type and how to find your way towards Presence, Resourcefulness, and Connection. Sessions are offered either over Zoom or an in-person "walkie talkie" through Cedarvale Ravine for those living in Toronto. https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/1997776459168?aff=oddtdtcreatorUse Code ALYSON at Checkout! 3.  GET DISCOUNTED ACCESS TO THE POSITIVE INTELLIGENCE (PQ) APP: Reach out to Valerie to learn more: https://joyfullcoaching.ca/contact/Follow Valerie on social media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joyfullcoaching/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JoyfullCoaching Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valerietih/ **********Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row!Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.

Are you familiar with Human Design? Kelly Flood, Parent Coach, joins me to explain what Human Design is and how it can help you as a parent. This field of study involves understanding people by knowing their unique energy blueprint. She explains that this level of understanding is not simply about putting people into typologies, although there are energetic styles to consider when looking at human behaviour and motivations. Kelly explains how she uses Human Design to help parents truly understand how their children are meant to operate in the world, which then helps to decide on the best approach to responding to conflicts in the family. This is a tool that is very helpful in learning how to deal differently when typical parenting conflicts like bedtime meltdowns occur. As well, it also helps improve everyday connection between family members. A fascinating conversation.               You can learn more about Kelly Flood and her parent coaching practice at www.kellyflood.ca, or on social media:IG: @coach_kelly_flood LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-flood-767ba647/ **********Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row!Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.

With his signature humour and relatable storytelling, Dr Dan Dalton discusses the important concepts of winning a child’s cooperation rather than forcing their obedience. He reminds us of psychologists Alfred Adler’s and Rudolf Dreikurs’ major concerns for social equality in all human relations, including children. We also discuss how the counselling tool of asking parents to review a day in the life of the family as a way to discover dynamics at play. Dr Dalton also explains the 4 levels of discouragement and using parental emotions as the diagnostic clue to the purposiveness of the child’s behaviour.  You can find Adlerian counselling services at Dalton and Associates here. Other Adlerian organizations we mentioned were: NASAP ICASSI IAIPAdler Graduate School **********Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row!Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.

“Breaking the Boy Code” is Dr Katie Hurley’s latest book, following the success of the award-winning “No More Mean Girls”.  In this episode, Katie discusses how boys are socialized into a narrow description of manhood that is detrimental to their well-being. While that issue is not new – the “man-o-sphere” has created a world of social influencers who insidiously influence our young sons pushing them down a funnel of increasingly more severe beliefs about what it is to be a man including wealth, physique, dehumanizing women for sex / ra*pe. Katie has studied this system and explains how this online system is akin to brainwashing people into a religious cult. We discuss what a parent can do to help prevent and respond to this concerning situation. Buy Katie’s book “Breaking The Boy Code” here. Follow Katie on IG: @drkatiehurleylcswDr Hurley’s website can be found here. **********Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row!Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.

Q1. Teen daughter home from uni assumes she can just take my car anytime.  Q2. 4 year old daughter is stealing and lying.  Q3. When should you start allowance?  **********Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.

Margot Denomme is my guest on this episode, and she brings her 26 years of experience as a Crown Attorney where she saw first-hand how low self-esteem and social media can harm children, leading to mental health issues, bullying and legal troubles.  She discusses the importance of parents’ taking collective action to bring about the changes needed to protect our vulnerable children. She has founded an organization called “Raising Awareness About Digital Dangers” (RAADD) which offers a host of resources for youth and their parents, including her book “The Smart Phone Guide”. Check out her book and all the resources at RAADD: https://raadd.ca/You can find Margot Demonne’s RAADD movement of “Control The Scroll” on IG at @RAADDMovement And Margot herself on LinkedIn**********Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row!Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.

Do you worry about your child’s weight and wonder if you are doing the right thing in how you encourage them to eat better and exercise more? Turns out sometimes so-called helpful prompts are not helpful. In fact, they could make matters worse. But what is a parent to do? Watch will their kiddo eats a bag of chips while gaming the day away? I had the privilege of discussing the book, “Your Child Is Not Their Weight: Parenting in a Size-Obsessed World”, with the authors, Dr Joey Skelton and Dara Garner-Edwards. Their research at the Brenner FIT Program, and their approach in the book, recommends that we don’t focus on weight, but rather we need to emphasize a strong family connection, tackling lifestyle choices together as a family, and utilizing planning and structure with involvement from the children. Listen in to learn more! Check out more resources at Dr Skelton’s website www.BrennerChildrens.org/BrennerFIT You can find Dr Skelton on social media here: X: @DrJoeySkelton Bluesky: @drjoeyskelton.bsky.social Instagram: @brenner_fit Facebook: Brenner FITAnd purchase the book here:  Your Child Is Not Their Weight – Parenting in a Size Obsessed World**********Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row!Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.

Dr Will Dobud’s book, “Kids These Days”, shines the light on how the emphasis on youth mental health has paradoxically resulted in more pathologizing, more labelling, more medication and more institutionalizing of young people – all while rates of youth mental health skyrocket.  Something is not right. He argues that our systems don’t support human flourishing and in fact create harm in youth. Dr Will is an advocate for co-adventure therapy and other forms of building egalitarian and respectful relationships with youth that allow them to be the hero of their journey and to face and overcome the hurdles of life through micro-adventuring. The book:www.kidsthesedaysbook.comHis website: www.willdobud.comFollow Will Dobud on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/WillDobudPhD Instagram: @WillDobud Instagram: @Kids_These_Days_BookLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/will-dobud-5209ab74X: @WillDobud**********Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row!Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.