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Paleo Bites
Oncorhynchus rastrosus, the Saber-toothed Salmon
(image source: https://eartharchives.org/articles/saber-toothed-salmon-teeth-more-like-tusks-than-fangs/)
Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Oncorhynchus rastrosus, AKA the saber-toothed salmon, AKA the coolest name for a fish ever, but FYI it’s not actually a valid descriptor anymore, so AKA it’s a massive disappointment. A big flop. Like a fish. Flop, flop. From the Late Miocene, this 8-foot salmonid was still pretty impressive, being such a big fish that also had big outward fangs, even if they weren’t saber-like canines. I just feel though that if you’re name is highlighting a certain feature, you better have it as advertised, otherwise I want my money back. You hear that, Oncorhynchus rastrosus? I want my money back! And don’t get it from a loan shark, I swear to God.
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262. Diabloceratops, the Devil Horned Face
20:15||Ep. 262Happy Halloween! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host/demon lord Morazmolochgallothagon discuss Diabloceratops, a dinosaur with literal devil horns and a ferocious attitude, making it a perfect new monster to enact further suffering upon Matthew’s soul. Mwuahaha. Wait, what? Who’s writing this?! From the Late Cretaceous, this 18-foot centrosaurine ceratopsian is another great addition to the spooky season themed episodes, especially ones that are once more 100% improvised such as this. For some reason these get a lot of downloads. Maybe it’s so people can laugh at Donald making a fool out of himself. Now, off to torture Donald some more. Mwuahahaha, hahahahahahaha!!! That’s right, Morazmolochgallothagon took over writing this description, by the way. Part of Matt’s penance for summoning a demon.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... Also, credit goes to Disney for that bit of instrumental audio from The Princess and the Frog that plays near the end.261. Alpkarakush, of the Kyrgyz Mythical Bird
31:58||Ep. 261(image source: Art by Joschua Knüppe) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Alpkarakush, a medium-sized predatory dinosaur from the Middle Jurassic at the geographic midpoint of its family. A lot of mid, this guy. Maybe he isn’t that great. He’s mid, this one. From the Mid Jurassic, this 23-foot metriacanthosaurid was very closely related to my boy Sinraptor, the star of Matthew’s Megazoic books, so it was actually quite awesome and we will accept no slander of it. Anything that brings my baby more in the public eye is a win in my book. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.260. Gillicus, the Gilled One
22:41||Ep. 260(image source: https://dinosauralive.fandom.com/wiki/Gillicus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Gillicus, a fish with gills… you know, like literally all fish. You ain’t special, Gillicus. We see you for who you are. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot ichthyodectiform is most famous for the “fish-within-a-fish” skeleton, where it’s the vore victim of the much cooler Xiphactinus. God, this guy is lame. What a loser. What a pushover. Actually, you know what, I can relate to this guy. I’m also a loser pushover who likes the idea of getting vored… uh, ignore that last part, please. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.259. Udanoceratops, the Horned Face of Udan Sayr
30:43||Ep. 259(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Udanoceratops-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Udanoceratops, a fat ugly beast with a really big head. Between this, last week’s Anteosaurus, and the Eryops episode a bit ago, there seems to be a recurring theme of creatures here. See you at the Cotylorhynchus episode where we start talking about small heads. From the Late Cretaceous, this 13-foot leptoceratopsian had a really big lower jaw and chin, kind of like a Chad, but far less handsome. This guy ain’t no himbo, more like an ogre or troll. Maybe I’m being too mean, though. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.258. Anteosaurus, the Lizard of the Mythical Giant Antaios
21:39||Ep. 258(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/willemsvdmerwe/art/Anteosaurus-340867141) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Anteosaurus, a really big stem mammal that ate and chomped and crawled and stomped all over. At least, I assume it did. We don’t really know, it could have moved exclusively via unicycle. From the Late Permian, this 20-foot dinocephalian was in the group of big terrestrial Permian predators before the gorgonopsids took over as the next big terrestrial Permian predators. But since this was all pre-dinosaur times, no one cares. Do you care? Of course you don’t care. I barely care and I produce this damn show. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.257. Dakotadon, the Tooth of the Dakota Region
27:36||Ep. 257(image source: https://prehistoria.fandom.com/es/wiki/Dakotadon) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Dakotadon, also known as the genus name that usurped the North American species of Iguanodon and thus any work featuring a North American Iguanodon retroactively is this. Hey, Aladar? You’re a Dakotadon now. Take all the time you need to process this, bro. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot iguanodontid is one of those examples of the bones being discovered and named far before the species is officially described, meaning those paleontologists in the 1800s digging up this guy in South Dakota thought they were Iguanodon but were this thing this whole time. If only they knew! Though frankly, I doubt they would care. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.256. Quinkana, the Spirit of Gugu-Yalanji Folklore
22:51||Ep. 256(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/fish98/art/Antipodes-Quinkana-Concept-969634441) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Quinkana, a galloping terrestrial crocodile from Australia, because why wouldn’t this be a thing? Especially on that continent, AKA Death World. From the Late Miocene to the Late Pleistocene, this 13-foot mekosuchine was also encountered by early humans, rather than being alongside the dinosaurs like it should have been. Why were you from then rather than from then? That’s a good sentence. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.255. Dusicyon, the Falkland Islands Wolf
27:31||Ep. 255(image source: https://theconversation.com/history-mystery-solved-the-origins-of-the-falkland-islands-wolf-12637)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Dusicyon, a wolf that encountered humans on its isolated island home and then got promptly killed off by the colonists… yeah, this is a sad episode. We try our best to lighten it up, but there’s only so much you can do! From the Early Holocene, this 5-foot canid as a genus lived all throughout South America, and the one we’re talking about for most of this episode is specifically the Falkland Islands version, Dusicyon australis, also called the Warrah. That’s neat. You know what’s not neat? This episode. Seriously, this was a mistake, y’all should listen to something else.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.Also special thanks to Catherine Ruža for her contributions to today's episode.254. Gremlin, the Gremlin
24:01||Ep. 254(image source: https://www.sci.news/paleontology/gremlin-slobodorum-12547.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Gremlin, a monstrous little critter with a big head and a mischievous demeanor, particularly if you feed it after midnight. Come on, we all knew that’s where these jokes were heading, huh? We’re all on the same page? Good. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot leptoceratopsid lived in both the wet scrublands of Alberta as well as in the insides or on the wings of planes back in the 40s and 50s… that one might be a deeper cut. Just watch the Twilight Zone episode, you’ve seen it. Or at least one of its many, many parodies. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.