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Paleo Bites
Han solo, the Lone Chinese Trilobite
(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnostida)
Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Han solo, an actually real genus and species of animal because paleontologists, believe it or not, are nerds. From the Early Ordavician, this 2-inch trilobite may not have looked like much, but it’s got it where it counts, kid. Yeah, we make a bunch of forced Star Wars references in this episode… oh, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here, its sequel "Megazoic: The Primeval Power" by clicking here, its third installment "Megazoic: The Hunted Ones" by clicking here, or its final installment "Megazoic: An Era's End" by clicking here, as well as his non-dinosaur-related book "Teslanauts" by clicking here.
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278. Temnodontosaurus, the Cutting-Tooth Lizard
35:29||Ep. 278(image source: https://artpictures.club/autumn-2023.html)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Michele C. Hollow discuss Temnodontosaurus, a rather large marine reptile with potentially the largest eyes of any animal ever at 10 inches wide. Sheesh, my most impressive body part in terms of size is only half that length! From the Early Jurassic, this 30-foot ichthyosaur was discovered by Mary Anning back in the 1810s and was the first ichthyosaur to be scientifically described, which is a neat piece of history. Sometimes this show can be educational! I know, it surprises me too.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.You can find more from Michele at https://www.michelechollow.com/277. Hippodraco, the Horse Dragon
23:35||Ep. 277(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Hippodraco-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Hippodraco, a dinosaur with a funny name that makes me think of hippos, horses, dragons, and a shipping portmanteau between Draco Malfoy and the hippogriff he tried to get killed. What a cacophony of emotions this guy brings out, especially for such a boring dinosaur. From the Early Cretaceous, this 15-foot iguanodontid was closely related to that one guy Proa we like to bang-on about, which also has a funny name. To think we’re reducing these fascinating paleontological finds with jokes about similar-sounding words and bully wizards banging lion-birds. Paleo Bites has been a real journey, folks. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.276. Magnolia, of Great Excellence
21:38||Ep. 276(image source: https://fineartamerica.com/featured/styracosaurus-eating-magnolias-with-lambeosaurus-phil-wilson.html)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Magnolia, another wonderful example of a prehistoric animal we cover on this show in that it is not an animal and is also still around today. It’s okay to break rules if you’re the one who makes them, kids. From the Mid Cretaceous to the Holocene onward, this plant of variable sizes has big paleontological significance, okay? That’s why we’re covering it! It’s important, I swear! Eh, who am I kidding, you’ve already hit “skip” on your playlist.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.275. Atlasaurus, the Lizard of the Titan Atlas
27:24||Ep. 275(image source: https://www.minizoo.com.au/eofauna-atlasaurus/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Jaymes Buckman discuss Atlasaurus, a lanky and wonky longneck that looks just wrong and quite frankly disgusts me. Look at its proportions, look at it! It’s like if A.I. made a dinosaur. From the Mid Jurassic, this 49 foot sauropod had a shorter neck and more elongated limbs than its cousins like Brachiosaurus, turning it into this abomination. Seriously, I can’t get over how this thing looks. It’s the uncanny valley of longnecks. I want to squeeze and stretch it like play-doh until it’s fixed. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Check out Jaymes at https://www.hotapollo.rocks/274. Lokiceratops, the Horned Face of Loki
23:58||Ep. 274(image source: https://allthatsinteresting.com/lokiceratops-rangiformis) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Lokiceratops, a dinosaur with asymmetrical horns, much like my relationship with my girlfriend where we’re asymmetrical in our horniness for each other. From the Late Cretaceous, this 22-foot centrosaurine ceratopsid is an example of how bilateral symmetry can be varied among different creatures. I relate, as my left butt cheek is far more swole than my right. I tend to clench more with that one when I’m nervous, you see. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.273. Austroraptor, the Southern Thief
32:02||Ep. 273(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austroraptor by Fred Wierum) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Austroraptor, a dromaeosaurid theropod masquerading as a spinosaurid theropod, because that sentence is comprehensible to more than hardcore dino nerds. From the Late Cretaceous, this 18-foot meat-eating dinosaur snapped up fish in the prehistoric jungles of Argentina, as opposed to Australia like I previously assumed. That’s why I got Ben here to host for me, I thought this was an Aussie! Even though Ben is not an Aussie, but a Kiwi. Eh, they’re all the same to dumb Yanks like me. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.272. Heterodontosaurus, the Different-Toothed Lizard
22:37||Ep. 272(image source: https://paleontologyworld.com/dinosaurs-%E2%80%93-species-encycolpedia/heterodontosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Heterodontosaurus, a very heteronormative dinosaur in that it had heterodont (or “differently-shaped”) teeth. Canceled! You’re canceled by the woke police, Heterodontosaurus! Love is love! Just ask Caihong, our rainbow-feathered dinosaur ally. From the Early Jurassic, this 6-foot ornithischian dinosaur lived in South Africa before its later descendants made their way to North America… kind of like another creature that is currently shadow-puppeting our presidency here in the States. Double-canceled, Heterodontosaurus! Go back to X along with your fellow elongated muskrat! No one else wants you! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.271. Pulmonoscorpius, the Lunged Scorpion
29:21||Ep. 271(image source: https://prehistoricpark.fandom.com/wiki/Pulmonoscorpius)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Pulmonoscorpius, another nope of a nope that crept and crawled and stabbed and stung. Why don't you stay over there and I stay way over here, you big monster? I think that's an arrangement we can all agree on. From the Late Carboniferous, the 2.5-foot scorpion was an active diurnal predator rather than a sneaky nocturnal hider like its modern counterparts, which is good, as that'll make it easier for me to shoot.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.270. Uintatherium, the Beast of the Uinta Mountains
24:23||Ep. 270(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/uintatherium-profile-1093289) Merry Christmas! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host and one of Santa’s elves Snowdrop Jimjam Jollypie discuss Uintatherium, a big hoofed mammal kind of like a rhino but with these weird antler-things on its head like a reindeer on crack. That’s the Christmas connection I’m making, anyway. From the Eocene epoch, this 14-foot dinoceratan stomped about merrily and crushed the skulls of predators much like a toddler crushing fallen Christmas tree ornaments… okay, that was a stretch. At least this once-more 100% improvised episode should go better for Matthew than the Halloween one with the demon, right? What could possibly go wrong this time?! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.Also, credit goes to Disney for that bit of instrumental audio from The Princess and the Frog that plays near the end.