Paleo Bites

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/uintatherium-profile-1093289) Merry Christmas! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host and one of Santa’s elves Snowdrop Jimjam Jollypie discuss Uintatherium, a big hoofed mammal kind of like a rhino but with these weird antler-things on its head like a reindeer on crack. That’s the Christmas connection I’m making, anyway. From the Eocene epoch, this 14-foot dinoceratan stomped about merrily and crushed the skulls of predators much like a toddler crushing fallen Christmas tree ornaments… okay, that was a stretch. At least this once-more 100% improvised episode should go better for Matthew than the Halloween one with the demon, right? What could possibly go wrong this time?! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.Also, credit goes to Disney for that bit of instrumental audio from The Princess and the Frog that plays near the end.

(image source: https://alchetron.com/Capromeryx-minor) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Capromeryx, a teeny-tiny pronghorn with a teeny-tiny amount of information available, perfect for another teeny-tiny bite-sized episode. Dawww. From the Late Pliocene to the Early Holocene, this 2-foot hoofed mammal was among the smallest artiodactyl of all time, being no bigger than a hare. Dawww, what a cutie. So tiny, I bet it could easily be carried off by eagles and ripped apart by its beak and talons midair. Damn, where does my mind go sometimes? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/lucas-attwell/art/Psittacosaurus-meileyingensis-752628599) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Psittacosaurus, an early representative of the dinosaurs that would later become Triceratops and Styracosaurus and the like despite looking almost nothing like one. It has the parrot-like beak I guess. Oh wait, that’s how it got its name! I’m smart. From the Early Cretaceous, this 6-foot basal ceratopsian apparently had a fossilized impression uncovered of its butthole, meaning y’all should be careful with where you park your truck. You never know who might find out about it millions of years later! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domeykodactylus by FunkMonk (Michael B. H.)) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Domeykodactylus, a pterosaur with a fabulous piece of artwork for it that was the whole inspiration for this episode. We’re nothing if not easily motivated, folks. But seriously, look at that feathery coat! So fly. Haha, get it, “fly,” like pterosaurs did? Eh, forget it. From the Early Cretaceous, this 3.5-foot wingspan dsungaripterid had a stylish head crest in addition to its fire plumage, meaning this guy was fashionable for sure. It also probably ate fish and laid eggs on cliffs and flew away from dinosaurs and stuff, you know, like a real pterosaur. But hey, let me have fun imagining it as a fashionista! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

(image source: https://www.everythingdinosaur.com/product/haolonggood-pentaceratops-lioutang/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Pentaceratops, a large horned dinosaur just had to one-up Triceratops in the horn quantity department, or technically two-up I guess, since five is two more than three. I’m mathing! From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot chasmosaurine ceratopsid actually really had three horns like most other chasmosaurines, it just had highly pronounced cheekbones that were mistaken for additional horns. Wow, this thing tried to two-up Triceratops by cheating! Shameful, Pentaceratops, shameful. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/willemsvdmerwe/art/Notharctus-tenebrosus-948425598) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Notharctus, a lemur-like creature that wasn’t actually a lemur nor was it a bear, but then again it is called “false” bear so it’s not technically misleading anyone. I just wonder who was dumb enough to think this was a bear to require clarification. From the Early Eocene, this 2-foot adapiforme primate lived in a time known as the Eocene Thermal Maximum, where things got really hot and rainforests covered the Earth. A worse time for everyone, basically. I don’t like heat. Come to think of it, I don’t like the cold either. I’m never happy. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

(image source: Art by Gabriel Ugueto)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Caihong, a beautiful rainbow-feathered ally and one of the premiere examples of the evidence of dinosaur coloration. Slay, queen! From the Late Jurassic, this 1-foot anchiornithid theropod flew its glittering body over its Chinese forest home and spread its love all over like a sparkling fairy. Step aside, cisgender men; this is truly a dinosaur for the girls, gays, and theys. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Thalassodromeus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Thalassodromeus, a medium-sized pterosaur with a really, really big crest for its size; in fact potentially the biggest cranial crests of any vertebrate! Damn, you didn’t need to go that hard, Mr. Thalass! From the Early Cretaceous, this 15-foot pterodactyloid is highly contentious in its placement in the pterosaur family tree, but currently it’s believed to be a tapejarid pterodactyloid. Give one out to the paleontologists for solving all of society’s real problems. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.Also it's Election Day today, so please for the love of God, if you haven't voted already, vote!!!

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/nagrandia/art/Diabloceratops-574079826)Happy Halloween! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host/demon lord Morazmolochgallothagon discuss Diabloceratops, a dinosaur with literal devil horns and a ferocious attitude, making it a perfect new monster to enact further suffering upon Matthew’s soul. Mwuahaha. Wait, what? Who’s writing this?! From the Late Cretaceous, this 18-foot centrosaurine ceratopsian is another great addition to the spooky season themed episodes, especially ones that are once more 100% improvised such as this. For some reason these get a lot of downloads. Maybe it’s so people can laugh at Donald making a fool out of himself. Now, off to torture Donald some more. Mwuahahaha, hahahahahahaha!!! That’s right, Morazmolochgallothagon took over writing this description, by the way. Part of Matt’s penance for summoning a demon.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it...Also, credit goes to Disney for that bit of instrumental audio from The Princess and the Frog that plays near the end.