Off With The Fairies

It’s our final episode for the year, it’s Christmas Eve, we’re on the run from international police, I look like George Clooney again and we’re stuck interviewing Terry the Werewolf again. However, this time he promises he will actually turn.Off with the Fairies will be back in January!Guest: Patrick Collins (@PatComedian)Look out for his upcoming show: “Mime Sheriff”Follow Isabella @isabellavaletteKnow who we should interview next? Contact us!@FairesPod on social mediaorOffWithTheFairiesParanormal@gmail.comTalking points: The virtues of a fox/ Performance anxiety/ Some of the disadvantages of being extremely good looking/ Don’t search through someone’s draws/ Killing three birds with one stone/ Painting your nails as a werewolf/ You just can’t turn when you want to/ How to lose followers fast/ The Wolverhampton Wolves and their Instagram accounts/ The resurgence of video messages/ If you don’t want us to kill you, don’t attack us as a wolf-man creatureCheck all of the other podcasts on That’s Not Canon Productions

We forgot to get anyone on this week so we’re talking to Isabella’s newly downloaded computer virus. Turns out when you give a sentient app access to all of your data it can really come back to bite you. Also we create an incident in Russia and finally confront Isabella’s obsession with David Hasselhoff. Guest: Zane C Weberwww.thatsnotcanon.comFollow Isabella @isabellavaletteKnow who we should interview next? Contact us!@FairesPod on social mediaorOffWithTheFairiesParanormal@gmail.comTalking Points: David Hasselhoff sex tape/ Clone Wars/ David Hasselhoff lookalikes in your area/ What even is sentience/ The importance of consent/ Dear fictional diary/ Isabella is an outlier/ Don’t give a sentient computer virus your search history/ Reasons you shouldn’t keep all your biometric data in one place/ Human printing facilities/ Why we’re not allowed in Russia anymore/ Human body photoshop extension/ I look like George Clooney again/

We've been doing this podcast for almost a year now and we still haven't met a witch! Well, all that's changing with our guest this week. Please note: no actual sheep were harmed during the making of this episode.Guest: Ally Reynolds (@writeupyourally)Find her in The Big HOO-HAA! Melbournehttp://www.hoohaamelbourne.com.au/@hoohaamelbourneTalking Points: The nature of all thing/ Maintaining the status quo under threat of hex/ Become a human shit-shield/ Don’t try to shear a sheep without shears/ How does a zombie sheep experience life?/ Naming children after family pets/ How many bats is too many bats?/ Why the Colosseum is less efficient in modern times/ The difference between witches and warlocks/ The concept of age to immortal beings/ Bartending is basically witchcraftFollow Isabella @isabellavaletteKnow who we should interview next? Contact us!@FairesPod on social mediaorOffWithTheFairiesParanormal@gmail.comGot an idea for who you’d like to see on the show next? Tweet at us on @fairiespodCheck all of the other podcasts on That’s Not Canon Productions

Hi listeners, it’s been a while. I’ve been taking the breakup with Isabella pretty hard, but we’ve decided to meet up again to interview a snake with a penchant for apples.Guest: Christopher Demos@lechrisdemosFollow Isabella @isabellavaletteKnow who we should interview next? Contact us!@FairesPod on social mediaorOffWithTheFairiesParanormal@gmail.comTalking Points: Jack Daniels at night, Captain Morgan in the morning/ Which snake sounds the most like Fran Drescher?/ The first Francis/ What does God have against healthy eating?/ The difference between a quince and an apple/ No one knows what the name of the snake in The Jungle Book was called/ God is no Michelle Obama/ Don’t get dumped on air/ Every snake wants feet/ How do fairies play soccer?/ A How-to guide on disguising a snake as a human/ The Importance of ballet to legless creatures/ iPhone touch sensors work with tongues/ Customer service training/ Why you should buy the full Apple electronics range/ Don’t talk publicly about how much your ex leaks/ The opportunities that present themselves when you look good in a turtle neck / Eden was basically the world’s first wellness retreat/ Don’t shed your skin while wearing clothesGot an idea for who you’d like to see on the show next? Tweet at us on @fairiespodCheck all of the other podcasts on That’s Not Canon Productions

Do you hear the wail of a banshee? Don’t worry, you’re not about to die (probably), it’s just our guest this week!Guest: Teresa EwanInsta: @teresaewanFind her band Cutts on facebook: @cuttsbandFollow Isabella @isabellavaletteKnow who we should interview next? Contact us!@FairesPod on social mediaorOffWithTheFairiesParanormal@gmail.comAre Banshees always screaming/ Banshee misconceptions/ Wail at funerals, wail before funerals/ Traffic announcements/ The importance of labour intensive work/ Fewer people are dying and that makes life harder/ The difference between wailing and keening/ Isabella’s marketing techniques/ Banshee’s don’t kill people but they do kill relationships/ amoral vs. amortal/ Muffins for single peopleGot an idea for who you’d like to see on the show next? Tweet at us on @fairiespodCheck all of the other podcasts on That’s Not Canon Productions

Isabella is taking me to a (non-sex) dungeon to have a chat to a giant eyeball. We discuss all things Beholder and behold some things we wish we hadn’t.Guest: Corey Glamuzina (@CoreyMGlamuzina)Check out The Big Hoo-Haa! Melbourne, every Friday at the Butterfly Club. For details Click HereClick here Isabella’s show, “How Far I’ll Go” in Melbourne Sep 21-29Talking Points: S&M Pigeon/ Dungeons and Dragons and Relationship Tension/ The Happy Dungeon/ The reality of being a floating eye/ How does a Beholders digestive system work/ Everyone needs a gamertag/ Too many tacos/ Don’t behold a Beholder’s butt hole/ You can make friends with a beholder/ Petrification and making friends/ An escape room to death/ How killing clientele hurts your online representation/ Where to find a giant eyeball/ We can’t all be Death Tyrants/ What’s the difference between hot and sexy/ A fairy girlfriend wont introduce you to their parents/ Laser tag to a beholder/ Don’t fire your eye lasers indoors/ Fireballs are dangerous/ Romance is dead to the Death Tyrants/ Where does a Beholder keep it’s penis/ Celine Dion and Meatloaf/ To hoard treasure or trash/ Intimacy, sex, passion and dependency/ There’s a lot to miss about single life/ We all want tender meat for our BologneseKnow who we should interview next? Contact us!@FairesPod on social mediaorOffWithTheFairiesParanormal@gmail.comGot an idea for who you’d like to see on the show next? Tweet at us on @fairiespodCheck all of the other podcasts on That’s Not Canon Productions

Deep in the forest is a spiderwoman who lures men to her lair to eat them. But she has many other interests as well.Guest: Lena Moon @lenaimoonClick here to find Lena’s show “This Is Our Pilot” in Melbourne, Sep 20-27Click here Isabella’s show, “How Far I’ll Go” in Melbourne Sep 21-29Talking Points: Decorating a spider lair/ Using morsels for pizzazz/ The difficulties of presenting as evil/ Trapping and eating men/ Tattoo artistry on orcs/ Orcs don’t wear silk/ Look a spiderwoman in the eyes as you wear her silk/ Is silk a practical material/ How to ethically source silk/ What’s the deal with humans and body fluids/ celebrity fashion/ Living in a leaf/ Fighting off bears/ Follow your dream of fighting bears/ Print media is pretty dead/ Much easier to lure and eat men outside of WIFI range/ A how-to guide on bribes/ There’s a fine line between a bribe and a gift/ Presentation is important in any meal/ Can a spiderwoman’s legs also be arms/ Playing a marimba with eight arms/ Orcs aren’t into the marimba/ No one misses metal fans/ Gaga is a sentient pacifier/ Change your life in five days/ Keeping fit as a spiderwoman/ No flash photography please/ poisonous attitudes and poisonous glands/ Sometimes eating can be a sex thing/Know who we should interview next? Contact us!@FairesPod on social mediaorOffWithTheFairiesParanormal@gmail.comGot an idea for who you’d like to see on the show next? Tweet at us on @fairiespodCheck all of the other podcasts on That’s Not Canon Productions

In the dark depths of R’lyeh sleeps and ancient terror so horrifying that to even gave upon it’s visage is to lose one’s sanity. We woke him up to have a chat about all things Cthulhu.Guest: Randy AdevaFB: @randyadevacomedianInsta & Twitter: @randyadevaSee his sketch team “Dink” perform monthly at the Improv Conspiracy Theatre – Melbournehttps://improvconspiracy.com/Catch “The Briefing” in Melbourne Fringe (19-24 Sep)https://melbournefringe.com.au/event/the-briefing/Catch Isabella’s show, “How Far I’ll Go” (21-29 Sep)https://melbournefringe.com.au/event/isabella-valette-how-far-ill-go/EPISODE NOTES:In the dark depths of R’lyeh sleeps and ancient terror so horrifying that to even gave upon it’s visage is to lose one’s sanity. We woke him up to have a chat about all things Cthulhu.Guest: Randy AdevaFB: @randyadevacomedianInsta & Twitter: @randyadevaSee his sketch team “Dink” perform monthly at the Improv Conspiracy Theatre – Melbournehttps://improvconspiracy.com/Catch “The Briefing” in Melbourne Fringe (19-24 Sep)https://melbournefringe.com.au/event/the-briefing/Catch Isabella’s show, “How Far I’ll Go” (21-29 Sep)https://melbournefringe.com.au/event/isabella-valette-how-far-ill-go/Talking Points: The difference between Neapolitan and Napoleon ice cream/ the futility of walls around underwater cities/ Boats and refrigeration/ How does one say Cthulhu/ Power rankings of the Great Old Ones/ The importance of Smashmouth’s Allstar for the survival of humanity/ Martinis underwater/ We discover the true parentage of Isabella/ A fairy with daddy issues/ Rapunzel married to Bill Bur/ Kathy Griffon is married to Jerry Seinfeld/ The best scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory/ How many times did Grandpa Joe piss the bed/ What’s it like to sleep for one hundred thousand years/ Identity swap/ Meghan Markle is assistant to Cthulhu/Got an idea for who you’d like to see on the show next? Tweet at us on @fairiespodCheck all of the other podcasts on That’s Not Canon Productions