Wikishuffle

It has taken us three years but we're back with a final whimper. Do follow @jookstew on instagram and @chriswallace123 and @pesharman on Twitter to keep up to date with us.

We were away for a bit. Soz.

What do you think of when you think of Canada? Maple Syrup? Poutine? Hit TV show Due South starring Paul Haggis, who looks like what happens if you cross Brendan Fraser and the guy that played Hercules in the one that was like Xena, but not Xena. How about terrible driving? Turns out Canada has been spending a lot of time looking for its worst driver, 7 whole times in fact. Joining us once again in our third chair, is resident cool kid Ruth Bradley. Who skateboarded her way from her loft apartment where all the other cool dudes are. She helps us understand what is going on in the World Wide Web when there are viruses kicking about. We end this week talking about the origin story of Christian pirate Ron ‘Patch’ Hamilton and how he swashbuckled his way into the hearts of children everywhere with tunes about Jesus. Before stepping off the plank into their nightmares with his eye hole.

With Jack gone forever so begins our Saved by the Bell: The New Class years, or that bit in Buffy when she wasn’t at school anymore and had to deal with a whole host of new problems. We expect to gather up some new hip cool listeners, yet retain our original core of Wikishufflers, casting aside any die hard Jack fans, who I’m sure will go on to watch his spin off. Like Joey. In our substitute teacher chair and making her spectacular return is friend of the show Ruth Bradley, testing her Potato snack knowledge against our very own resident Potato Man. Thanks to Mark Winter for contributing, what appears to be a life long ambition of his. We have found the YouTube video, Mark. After a quick trip to Baker Street for a catch up with that Cumberbatchian autistic dope fiend violinist and his best friend / closetted love interest, we go on to look at some unsettling holes.

After a long delay, the Wikishuffle crew is back to normally scheduled broadcasting. Expect us every second week with our spin off show Goodnight Sweetcast filling in the gaps. This week we examine the correlation between the attractiveness of shoppers and their supermarket of choice, in a completely fair and not at all unreasonable segment we call 'Peeking in a Farmfoods'. We also learn that Phil holds himself in the top tier of Supermarket Naturists, let us know if you would feel comfortable with a nude Wizard in your local Tesco Express. Answers on a postcard. In the Shuffles we uncover the GREATEST DECEPTION since Dan Brown found out about the Da Vinci Code and Tom Hanks had to stop Gandalf from finding the old cup. Jesus was a right old sneaky sneak. Apparently, there is also a big vault where they keep all the nuts in case everything turns rubbish, which is becoming ever more likely. Don't worry though, we know roughly where they keep them. Finally, we bid a tearful farewell to Jack as he goes on a journey to find himself in Asia. We hope he finds what he is looking for, unless it is something unsavoury. In which case he must be stopped at all costs.

Wasn't it lovely of the Queen to send us a telegram for our 100th episode, which is definitely something that happened and we certainly didn't just doctor an old lady's 100th birthday telegram, because that would probably be treason. And this bumper 100th episode special has been a long time in the making. Not just in the fact that we had to release a prior 99 podcasts to make this happen, but because this episode has - for indeterminate reasons - taken us well over two months to edit and release. Was it worth the wait? Well we'll let you be the judge of that, but you do get a whole six Wikipedia articles for your money, covering the entire gamut of Wikishuffle nonsense. There's some tragedy, some wrestling, some classic pop big hitters and a modicum of BDSM to keep you interested. We even went to the trouble of hiring a local brass band to play us out. Here's to the next 100 episodes. Sincerest thanks if you've joined us on the journey so far.

The British monarchy pushes Chris's buttons, a coquettish woodpigeon pushes Jack's buttons and Philip is too busy pushing listener's buttons to have time for any of his own. It's the last ever double-digit episode of Wikishuffle, and we're spending the whole episode talking about young girls.

We recorded this episode bloody ages ago, so our cutting edge references to the deaths of King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand and Jean 'Hilda Ogden' Alexander have probably already been forgotten. Especially since this is 2016, or the Year of 1,000 Corpses as I prefer to call it. In this week's episode Chris offers up some expert sex education guidance for parents, Jack watches the football (because he is Alpha af), we play the penultimate round of our special run-up-to-episode-100 quiz, and we talk toys.

We're fast becoming the Wikishuffle Mental Health Hour. Please bear in mind that we're not psychologists and our prognosis of everything being fine and normal and generally attributable to the mugging ennui of twenty-first century existence is not backed up by any medical qualification. Elsewhere, Philip confesses to a new hobby while Jack confesses to the (only slightly worse) crime of infanticide. Happy shuffling!