Giles Coren Has No Idea

It is advent which means calendars, Christmas preparation and church services. Esther is making up for her childhood austerity by buying big gaudy chocolate calendars;  Giles is curbing his instinct to over buy and both of them are pondering the true meaning of Christmas. According to recent research couples that drink together stay together…as mismatched drinking habits can be the death knell of a relationship. Are Esther and Giles’ drinking patterns in sync?For those eschewing Christianity, what are the popular alternatives, and are they worth a look? Finally, what’s the difference between children and cats…? And as always please do get in touch: noidea@thetimes.com

Giles and Esther are trying to work out how best to teach their children to think better about energy  - how and when to use it wisely. But who should teach valuable lessons about the economics of the home - the school or themselves, the parents? And how much do they really understand? So in this bonus edition made in partnership with Smart Energy GB Giles and Esther discuss bathtime, underfloor heating and whether something that makes a whirring noise in the kitchen at night is really going to reduce them to penury! And how the smart meter might make it easier to pass on some important wisdom.Made in partnership with Smart Energy GB.

Giles and Esther have delayed the recording of the podcast so they can respond to Rachel Reeves much anticipated budget. Turns out they didn’t need to as the whole thing was leaked! With the mansion tax potentially looming large should people consider devaluing their houses? If so, how might one go about doing that…? And if the Chancellor is taxing milk shakes and lattes Giles thinks she should go a step further.Is fame bad for your health? With some experience of the matter both Esther and Giles think so. But wonder if there is an element of chicken and egg about fame – does it attract a more fragile sort, or does it cause the fragility? Finally, the case of Nigel Farage and the accusations of schoolboy racism. 

A quick but very loud update on Giles’ snoring. He has recorded himself and it’s been quite a shock. But he has found a new gadget that is aiding him in his quest to return to the marital bed. This week is better than Christmas for Giles as the Ashes begin, he plans on adjusting his body clock and not missing a second…and he’ll be dragging a bleary eyed twelve-year-old along for the ride.Are you rich? Would you admit it if you were? Weary with seemingly well-off people pleading poverty Giles has developed a very simple check list to establish – rich or not rich?Lastly, the Cambridge Dictionary word of the year is… And as always please do get in touch: noidea@thetimes.com

Giles has been to see a Bob Vylan gig. Bob Vylan are a punk rap duo who hit the headlines when the BBC broadcast their set live from Glastonbury, during which they led a chant of ‘death death to the IDF.’ Performing round the corner at the forum in Kentish Town Giles went to see the gig, the various protest and counter protest groups and to talk to some strangers.If PM Sir Keir Starmer really is under threat who else could fill his shoes – Davina McCall, the artist formerly known as Prince Andrew? There is upheaval at the BBC as the DG and head of news resign on the same day…will Giles be sending in his CV for either of the roles?Finally, ‘Flesh’ by David Szalay wins the booker prize, what’s it about?

Giles is still sleeping apart from Esther because of his snoring. But he is not fully reconciled to the new arrangement. The subject hit a nerve as many listeners have been in touch with ideas to improve the situation – from wired jaws, wedge pillows or intriguingly a trip to Newcastle. After Giles composes himself, he considers a few of the options. In more upbeat new Parisians are being offered the chance to win a burial spot next to the likes of Oscar Wilde, Jim Morrison or Edith Piaf in the famous cemeteries of the Père-Lachaise, Montparnasse and Montmartre. So where would Giles and Esther like to be buried?Lastly, a new charge has started to appear on some restaurant bills – an admin charge. What is it, why is it there and does it mark the end of fine dining…?  And as always please do get in touch: noidea@thetimes.com

Sixteen percent of UK couples sleep in separate bedrooms. (Giles knows because he asked Grok.)Esther and Giles have now joined that group as Giles’ snoring has finally got too much for Esther. Is this a problem that listeners are familiar with…are their other causes for sleeping separately besides snoring? Government ministers have announced they will investigate the brightness of modern car headlights, about time to seems to be the response. But can these ministers be relied upon to do such research, given they don’t appear capable of much else? A quick question – is it fair to dress dogs up on Halloween? And lastly, having used Grok Giles wonders what a Grok rival to Wikipedia might look and sound like. And as always please do get in touch: noidea@thetimes.com

This week Giles and Esther record the pod in front of a live audience at the Cheltenham Literature Festival.Giles regales the crowd with tales of his prostate cancer diagnosis, taps up an off-duty doctor for some opinions and wonders what would get Jane Austin cancelled.Esther demonstrates her grasps of veganism, her unwillingness to read out loud and knows what would get her cancelled.Special thanks to 'The Nook on Five, Cheltenham's rooftop restaurant' for hosting us. And as always please do get in touch: noidea@thetimes.com