News Weakly

Every week, Sami Shah (ABC, The Gadfly)—comedian, journalist, and award-winning writer of words—breaks down the biggest stories with just enough sarcasm to keep us from screaming into the void.🎟 Live Show Alert! Tickets for the News Weakly 150th episode live show are on sale now! March 21st, 6:30pm, at Comedy Republic, Melbourne. Get them at ComedyRepublic.com.au, or join Patreon for a discount: Patreon.com/SamiShah.This Week:🔹 Australia’s new anti-terrorism strategy: Hope that Barry is on your flight!🔹 Israel-Hamas peace talks continue! Just kidding!🔹 Trump is America’s Hydra Cap, and Ukraine is realizing they’re in a Marvel villain origin story.Quote of the Week:"You don’t think, you act." – Barry, Legend of Avalon Airport.🎧 Support the Show!Join Patreon.com/SamiShah for the ad-free version!🎟 Live show tickets: ComedyRepublic.com.auThanks for listening! See you next week!

Every week, Sami Shah (ABC, The Gadfly)—comedian, journalist, and award-winning writer of words—breaks down the biggest stories with just enough sarcasm to keep us from screaming into the void.🎟 Live Show Alert! Tickets for the News Weakly 150th episode live show are on sale now! March 21st, 6:30pm, at Comedy Republic, Melbourne. Get them at ComedyRepublic.com.au, or join Patreon for a discount: Patreon.com/SamiShah.This Week:Australia finally lets Qatar Airways expand its flights—but only after blocking them for a year, proving once again that our government moves at the speed of a dial-up modem.Peter Dutton somehow managed to play the stock market like a pro during the 2008 crash. Inside trading? Luck? Just another case of a politician accidentally getting richer while the rest of us suffered?Meanwhile, Donald Trump shares an AI-generated fever dream of Gaza as a luxury resort, featuring yachts, bearded belly dancers, and Netanyahu sipping cocktails. Is this dystopia or just another day in the Trump multiverse?Quote of the Week:"I haven’t seen logic this inconsistent since the last time the Federal Government did anything."🎧 Support the Show!Support News Weakly! Join at Patreon.com/SamiShah.🎟 Live show tickets: ComedyRepublic.com.auThanks for listening! See you next week!

Every week, Sami Shah (ABC, The Gadfly)—comedian, journalist, and award-winning writer of words—breaks down the biggest stories with just enough sarcasm to keep us from screaming into the void.🎟 Tickets for the 150th episode live show are on sale now! March 21st, 6:30pm, at Comedy Republic in Melbourne.Get them at comedyrepublic.com.au, or join Patreon for a discount: patreon.com/samishah.This Week:Jewish and Muslim communities are fighting over whose discrimination is worse, instead of uniting against the actual racists. Who wins?Trump called Zelensky a "dictator" and blamed him for Russia invading Ukraine. Meanwhile, Putin’s celebrating and Europe’s losing its mind. But Trump’s too busy demanding Ukraine’s rare minerals to care.QUOTE OF THE WEEK"Trump will blame Pearl Harbor for antagonising the Japanese pilots by floating there so provocatively."🎧 SUPPORT THE SHOW!Help keep News Weakly ad-free and independent! Sign up at Patreon.com/SamiShah.🎟 Live show tickets: ComedyRepublic.com.auThanks for listening! See you next week!

NEWS WEAKLY – 144 (8th February, 2025)🎟 Tickets to the News Weakly 150th Episode Live Show are ON SALE NOW! 🎟📅 Date: March 21st, 6:30pm📍 Venue: Comedy Republic, Melbourne🎟 Tickets: comedyrepublic.com.au💸 Patreon members get a special discount code and the joy of keeping News Weakly ad-free at patreon.com/samishah.TOP STORIES OF THE WEEK🚨 Do as Trump says but don’t do as Trump do be do!All that, and more, on NEWS WEAKLY!QUOTE OF THE WEEK:"We’ve had to say that Israel isn’t an apartheid state, it’s just a state that’s committing apartheid. It isn’t committing genocide in Gaza, it just says it wants to and acts like it wants to. And now this won’t be US and Israel committing ethnic cleansing, it’ll just be a general cleansing of one ethnicity."EPISODE SUMMARY:🗺️ From the River to the Casino, News Now…Remember when people said Israel wasn’t going to take over Gaza? Well, surprise! That’s exactly what’s happening! Pro-Israel voices who dismissed concerns of annexation now have the same credibility as a guy swearing he doesn't watch porn. Meanwhile, Trump voters who thought he’d be softer on Gaza than Biden are discovering that ‘5% of the population left’ is somehow worse than ‘100% of the population bombed’.Trump’s latest grand idea? The United States should take control of Gaza, because nothing screams stability like an American occupation. While Netanyahu struggles to hide his glee, even Trump’s own press secretary had to issue an immediate "What he meant was…" statement. But don’t worry, Trump himself clarified in the best way possible—with a deranged social media post about turning Gaza into a luxury development project.Meanwhile, the Arab states have condemned Trump’s statement, but let’s be honest—the Arab states are as reliable as a weather app predicting Melbourne’s forecast. And while some optimists still think Trump is just saying things, history tells us when authoritarians move fast and break things, they don’t rebuild them with democratic values in mind.SUPPORT THE SHOW!If you enjoy News Weakly, help keep it ad-free and independent by supporting on Patreon:🔗 patreon.com/samishah🎟 Get your tickets now for the 150th Episode Live Show!🔗 comedyrepublic.com.au🎵 Theme music: "Historic Anticipation" by Paul Mottram📝 Written, hosted, and produced by Sami Shah

NEWS WEAKLY – 1st February, 2025🎟 Tickets to the News Weakly 150th Episode Live Show are now available! 🎟The show is on March 21st at 6:30pm at Comedy Republic, Melbourne.🎟 Grab your tickets at comedyrepublic.com.au🎟 Patreon members get a discount code and the warm glow of knowing they keep News Weakly ad-free and listener-supported! Sign up at patreon.com/samishah.TOP STORIES OF THE WEEK🚨 Nothing good ever happens in a caravan!🚨 Trump wants Hamas to have more babies!🚨 You can’t spell China without A and I!All that, and just a little bit more, on NEWS WEAKLY!QUOTE OF THE WEEK:"If it looks like a hate crime, smells like a hate crime, and involves explosives targeting a synagogue, there’s a fairly high chance it’s not a quirky art installation."EPISODE SUMMARY:🔴 Explosive Discourse, News Now…A caravan full of explosives, a synagogue on the target list, and some TikTok drifters caught in the middle—Australia’s antisemitic attacks are either the worst-organized hate crimes in history or proof that someone is paying people to be Nazis. Meanwhile, Peter Dutton continues his one-man mission to make everything worse.🎭 Lights, Camera, Prisoner Exchange, News Now…The Gaza ceasefire continues, with more hostages and prisoners swapped, while Hamas turns every handover into a Broadway production. Netanyahu, not to be outdone, delays releases for maximum drama, because in this conflict, optics matter more than human lives. Meanwhile, Israel keeps arresting more Palestinians just in case they need a fresh batch for future swaps, and America wants Hamas to use less contraception.🔥 Swedes Didn’t Start the Fire, News Now…Sweden’s most controversial amateur arsonist, Salwan Momika, has been shot dead, and now everyone is using his death to confirm their worst fears.🤖 My AI is Cheaper Than Your AI, News Now…Nvidia, once the golden god of AI stocks, just lost $600 billion in market value—because China’s AI game just levelled up. DeepSeek made waves with a cost-effective AI model, then Alibaba swooped in with something even better than GPT-4. Meanwhile, Trump isn’t thrilled about America losing its AI dominance, but instead of doing something productive, he’s probably going to start a trade war with China instead.SUPPORT THE SHOW!If you enjoy News Weakly, help keep it ad-free by supporting on Patreon:🔗 patreon.com/samishah🎟 Get your tickets now for the 150th Episode Live Show!🔗 comedyrepublic.com.au🎵 Theme music: "Historic Anticipation" by Paul Mottram📝 Written, hosted, and produced by Sami Shah

News Weakly – Episode 142 – 24th January 2025TOP STORIES OF THE WEEKIn the beginning was the Word, and the Word was MAGA!Also, the government solves antisemitism!All that, and more, on News Weakly!Summary:This week, News Weakly plunges into the biblical chaos of Trump’s inauguration as he resurrects 1500 January 6th rioters and brings an unholy mix of executive orders to life, from TikTok bans to climate carnage. Meanwhile, antisemitic incidents in Australia rise, with an investigation uncovering a dark twist: hate outsourced to paid actors. Yes, bigotry is apparently on payroll now. Sami Shah unpacks it all with biting satire and the sharp edge of truth.Quote of the Week:"Nothing screams 'commitment to the cause' like subcontracting your racism."Stay Tuned for More:Don’t miss out on the News Weakly 150th live show, coming March 21st at Melbourne’s Comedy Republic! Patreon supporters get early ticket access and discounts. Sign up now at patreon.com/samishah.For the full breakdown of the stories shaping your world—and ruining your faith in humanity—catch the latest episode of News Weakly!Sami Shah is a multi-award-winning comedian, writer, journalist, and broadcaster.For more: thesamishah.comTheme music "Historic Anticipation" by Paul Mottram.This podcast is written, hosted, and produced by Sami Shah.

News Weakly Episode 141 – 18th January, 2025Join Sami Shah as he punches the news in the headlines weakly! This episode dives into the latest on the Gaza ceasefire negotiations and Peter Dutton's "Back on Track" campaign strategy.Top Stories of the WeekCeasing to Cease FireHamas and Netanyahu might be edging closer to an agreement that could stop the bloodshed – at least temporarily. But is this deal about hostages and humanity, or just egos and political survival?Back Off TrackPeter Dutton’s campaign slogan sounds like a railway PSA, but it’s aimed at derailing Labor’s momentum. Sami breaks down the slogans, culture wars, and pithy phrases Dutton hopes will steer Australia into his corner.Quote of the Week“Maybe his plan to help with the cost of living crisis is all the money we’ll save on flags.”Support the ShowKeep News Weakly ad-free and independent by joining Sami’s Patreon at patreon.com/samishah. Paying members get exclusive access to discounts for the upcoming live show celebrating 150 episodes of News Weakly on March 21st, 2025, at the Comedy Republic in Melbourne.Sami Shah is a multi-award-winning comedian, writer, journalist, and broadcaster.For more: thesamishah.comTheme Music: Historic Anticipation by Paul MottramThis podcast is written, hosted, and produced by Sami Shah.

News Weakly – Episode Notes – 11th January, 2025This Week’s Punchlines in the Headlines: Trump goes full Risk with a bizarre annexation plan, LA faces literal hellfire while Steve Guttenberg makes a surprising cameo, Zuckerberg taps out on fact-checking but not on his MMA delusions, and Justin Trudeau says "au revoir" to the Canadian Dream.Top Stories of the Week:Trump’s Anschluss Ambitions: Donald Trump’s pre-inauguration antics take a surreal turn as he announces plans to annex Greenland, the Panama Canal, and parts of Canada. We unpack the logic—or lack thereof—behind his geopolitical Monopoly game.Flame of Thrones: The LA fires wreak havoc, claiming homes, billions in damages, and even some celebrity anonymity. Steve Guttenberg gets unrecognised, but Hollywood’s burning continues.Meta Taps Out: Mark Zuckerberg ends Meta’s fact-checking program and appoints Dana White as his fact-checker, but not in the way you’d expect.Justin Time to Leave: The rise and fall of Justin Trudeau, Canada’s progressive poster boy. From yoga poses to blackface scandals, we chart his complicated legacy.Quote of the Week:“Justin Trudeau’s time as Prime Minister has officially come to an end. And like the maple syrup Canada is famous for, his tenure started sweet but ended in a sticky mess.”Support the Show:Enjoy News Weakly? Keep us going by supporting the podcast on Patreon at patreon.com/samishah. Every contribution keeps us ad-free and sharp!About the Host:Sami Shah is a multi-award-winning comedian, writer, journalist, and broadcaster.For more: http://thesamishah.comTheme Music:"Historic Anticipation" by Paul Mottram.Listen Now and Stay Weakly Updated!

NEWS WEAKLY – 4th January, 2025This week on News Weakly, Sami Shah kicks off the new year by questioning what even counts as terrorism anymore, breaking down Labor’s attempts to scare voters into loving Medicare, and saying goodbye to two world leaders who somehow managed to avoid causing the downfall of democracy.Top Stories of the Week:1. White Guys Can’t TerrorismTwo terrorist attacks in the US reveal that anyone – even a Tesla-driving Trump supporter – can now join the ranks of extremists, leaving Republicans struggling to decide whether the real enemy is ISIS or Granny Smith apples.2. Labor Digs Up Old Campaign TacticsLabor revives their favourite election scarecrow – MediScare – with a new spin on an old warning: if Peter Dutton wins, say goodbye to Medicare and hello to $7 GP visits and scary hospital bills.3. Dead Presidents (And Prime Ministers)Jimmy Carter and Manmohan Singh pass away, reminding the world that not all leaders end their terms with fascist uprisings. Sometimes, you just retire and quietly build houses.Quote of the Week:“What is this diversity and inclusion in terrorism?” – Sami reflects on the unsettling fact that terrorism is no longer the exclusive domain of angry brown guys with student visas.Enjoy News Weakly?Keep us going by supporting the podcast on Patreon at patreon.com/samishah. Every contribution helps keep the show ad-free and full of weak punches at the news.Sami Shah is a multi-award-winning comedian, writer, journalist, and broadcaster.For more: http://thesamishah.comTheme music "Historic Anticipation" by Paul MottramThis podcast is written, hosted and produced by Sami Shah.