Share

cover art for Cultivating Connection Amidst Division

Need A Lift? with Tim Shriver

Cultivating Connection Amidst Division

On his hit shows “On the Road with Steve Hartman” and “Kindness 101,” CBS News correspondent Steve Hartman shines a light on the extraordinary human beings he meets across the country, the nuggets of wisdom they share, and the compassionate actions they take in response to the needs of those around them: a girl raising money to grant ‘wishes’ for local nursing home residents, popular kids ensuring students on the fringes never have to eat lunch alone, or a man who simply takes the time to sit and listen to his neighbors. “We all need examples,” Steve says, “We can't just be told to do these things. We need to see people doing them and see the results that they earn before we can really want to internalize it and make it part of our lives.” 


In moments when the country feels especially divided–like this election year–Steve’s secret is that he refuses to dwell in negativity. He believes that focusing instead on the very best in humanity, one story at a time, especially in news coverage, is the key to finding our way back to one another. “You put seeds out there and they may not grow right away. A seed can sit in the soil for 20 years and still come up,” Steve says, “Changing our course starts with empathy…and helping others.”


***

Steve Hartman has been a CBS News correspondent for almost thirty years. He’s best known for his weekly feature segment “On the Road With Steve Hartman” modeled after the late, great newsman Charles Kuralt’s long-running series of the same name. On the show, Steve shares heartfelt stories about the incredible people he meets as he travels around the country. With the help of two of his kids, Meryl and Emmett, he hosts a segment called “Kindness 101,” airing weekly on CBS Mornings. They cover everything from purpose, altruism, gratitude, and empathy. Stories that are now being used to teach character in classrooms all around the world. 


You can find more of Steve’s work on CBSNews.com and watch his stories from On the Road and Kindness 101 on the CBS Evening News and CBS Mornings YouTube channels. 


Watch the stories mentioned in this episode:


***


Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound

More episodes

View all episodes

  • When Faith Is a Verb

    46:08|
    Reverend Jen Bailey comes from a long line of Black women who “made a way out of no way.” As a young girl encouraged by church mothers who “made spiritual work come alive,” Jen discovered God was both a heavenly being to be revered and a confidant she could trust with hard questions about her daily life and reality. Today, Jen’s work is grounded in the belief that faith matters for action, and action manifests faith, both in her life as a preacher, a writer, and as an advocate for justice. In 2014, she founded Faith Matters Network, which supports faith leaders, community organizers, and social activists with the tools they need to heal themselves and their communities. And she also serves on the board of several philanthropic foundations and advisory groups helping people with resources invest in the work of spiritual and social change. On days when hope is harder to access in her work and in her life, Jen says she considers three important questions, “What is dying in the world?  What wants to emerge? And what is already blooming beautifully?” ***Reverend Jennifer Bailey is an ordained minister in the African Methodist Episcopal Church, a public theologian, and a leader in the multi-faith movement for justice. She is the founder of Faith Matters Network and a co-founder of The People's Supper. You can learn more about her work and her beautiful book, “To My Beloveds: Letters on Faith, Race, Loss, and Radical Hope” on her website reverendjen.com. ***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.
  • A Gun Violence Survivor on How Forgiveness Saved His Life

    41:40|
    Growing up in 1980s New Haven, Connecticut, Lamont Young faced many challenges including poverty, racism, and isolation. Then, at 19-years old, he was shot seven times at point blank range. Miraculously, he survived, but life after the shooting was far from easy. Lamont experienced PTSD, lived in a homeless shelter, lost custody of his kids, and turned to drugs and alcohol. He credits his mother’s unconditional love and faith for helping him release his anger and finally begin the healing process. “She said, ‘It doesn't matter what happened to you in the past, what you did in the past, what anybody ever did to you in the past....Forgive yourself.’” Years later when Lamont came face-to-face with his shooter, instead of seeking revenge he chose to forgive him. “Who am I to take your life after God saved my life?... And I hugged him, my mom hugged him, and she prayed for him, and we drove off and that was it.” Lamont eventually attended rehab and after recovery he graduated with a masters in psychology from Fordham University. Today, Lamont serves a mix of youth, adults and families in his local community as a licensed mental health clinician, equipping clients with the coping skills he needed as a young man. “[I ask them] ‘How can I help? What can I do to help you?’ And once they start sharing, I’ll give them hope. Let them know no matter what [they’re] going through, this is what we’re going to do together to be able to heal [them].”***Lamont Young is a licensed mental health clinician specializing in Addiction Psychiatry. Previously, he worked at a middle school as a trauma informed therapist and at Yale Psychiatric Hospital helping transitional youth. Today, he continues to serve his community by working with a mix of young people, adults, and families. ***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.
  • How a Sandy Hook Parent Turned Devastation Into Love and Action

    40:56|
    Scarlett Lewis remembers feeling like there was no future for her. “I literally had this thought that I was going to dissolve,” she tells Tim, recounting the days after the death of her son Jesse at the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting on December 14th, twelve years ago. She realized there was no playbook on how to process the murder of her son, but she knew that she did not want to be a victim, or to feel hopeless. “Hopelessness is dangerous for the person feeling it and for those around them. I did not want to go down the same path as Adam Lanza. Why fight anger with anger? It doesn't do any good. It doesn't solve anything. How about fighting anger with love? That's a concept.” This idea brought her to the field of Social and Emotional Learning, or SEL. SEL gives kids tools to manage their emotions and make better choices, and Scarlett believes it has the potential to prevent violence. She built the Choose Love Movement to bring SEL curriculum to more schools, as well as prisons, workplaces, families and communities. Scarlett has been able to forgive her son’s killer, but the pain and loss of his death is with her every day. “And it is that pain that drives me to do what I do every day as well.”***Scarlett Lewis is the founder of the Choose Love Movement. You can learn more about her work at their website: chooselovemovement.org***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound. 
  • For Better or Worse: Marriage Could Cost This Couple Their Healthcare

    43:36|
    When Patrice Jetter and her fiancé Garry Wickham met over 30 years ago at work, they instantly clicked. “They had to separate us after a while,” Garry said. “We couldn't sit together because… all we’d do is laugh.” You can see their laughter and love for each other in the new documentary, “Patrice: The Movie,” now streaming on Hulu. It tells the story of Patrice’s life growing up as a child with a disability in New Jersey and her journey to heal from bullying, trauma and abuse. “I learned early on that I had very little control over what went on in my life,” she told Tim. In response, Patrice developed a personal philosophy of joy and positivity. She learned she could improve her day “...by just smiling or doing something to make another person laugh.” Now 60 years old, Patrice insists on living her life exactly the way she wants. She draws and makes elaborate original costumes. She figure skates and swims with Special Olympics. But there’s one thing she’s still not able to do: Marry her fiancé and best friend, Garry. In this episode, Patrice, Garry, and Tim discuss the laws keeping them apart, and their struggle for marriage rights for all couples with disabilities. ***Patrice Jetter and Garry Wickham are the stars of the new documentary, “Patrice: The Movie” now streaming on Hulu. Learn more about the film by following @patricethemovie on social media. You can go to patricethemovie.com and click “Take Action” to send a letter to your lawmakers telling them you want the marriage penalty changed.*** Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.
  • Why Friendship Is Part of Finding Your Purpose

    45:24|
    Comedians, screenwriters, and best friends, Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo are “champions of friendship.” Every year on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, they gather with seven other friends at a steakhouse in Brooklyn to vote on who had the best year. The winner takes home a “man of the year” trophy, a tradition that has sustained their friendship for almost 40 years. As a response to a survey which found that 49% of Americans reported having three or fewer friends and 12% reported having zero close friends, they launched the Man of the Year podcast in late 2022. They’re on a mission to show men why true contentment is a byproduct of healthy relationships and how deep connections have the power to shift the trajectory of your life. On the show, they provide “Friend-Ed” (friend education), offering men advice on everything from the art of the “boy’s night,” how to support a grieving friend, and how to tell your friend “I love you.”  “One tip we give to our listeners is to start with thank you. We say, ‘Thanks is a gateway emotion.’ So you start with “thank you”…make your way up to “I love you.”” Aaron Karo says. In this episode, they model their friendship-expertise in real time, offering Tim advice on a recent friend-breakup of his own, and they make a case for why friendship might be the antidote to America's “loneliness epidemic.” “I consider our deep friendship sort of an extension of family… We share values, we share goals and community,” Matt Ritter says.***Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo are comedians, screenwriters, and best friends for almost 40 years. They co-host the “Man of the Year" podcast where they help listeners make new friends, reconnect with old ones, and build lifelong social fitness. You can check out the show on Youtube or wherever you listen to podcasts.***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.
  • How to Protect Black Mental Health Now

    31:41|
    As a college student majoring in psychology, Dr. Rheeda Walker quickly discovered her calling after recognizing Black people were largely absent in her field. “People who looked like me didn't seem to be represented in the psychology texts. Not in the theories, not in the stories, not in the hypotheses, not in anything,” she says. Today, as a licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Walker focuses on suicidal ideation and the prevention of suicide and the urgency it has in Black mental health.In 2016, she noticed a troubling pattern. Research showed that the suicide rate among 5 to 11 year old Black children exceeded the rate of white kids at the same age. Additionally, while suicide rates for white children declined, they'd actually increased for Black children. When these statistics only worsened through repeated studies, Dr. Walker knew that she had to act. In 2020, she wrote a book called “The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health” arguing that “in this era of discrimination, invisibility, and psychological warfare, Black people need so much more than mental health or well-being. They need an impermeable web of protection for [their minds].” Dr. Walker calls this "psychological fortitude” and she believes it goes beyond serving individuals. “It's about healing the community…then we're able to not just heal ourselves, but maybe be a model for a larger society,” Dr. Walker says.***Dr. Rheeda Walker is a licensed clinical psychologist, psychology professor at Wayne State University, and author of several books including “The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health.” You can find more of her work on her website rheedawalkerphd.com. ***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.
  • Practice Episode: How to Manage Our Fearful Thoughts with Byron Katie

    24:42|
    In 1986, after two marriages, three children and a successful career, Byron Katie found herself in a downward spiral. She was so depressed she could barely leave the house and her family walked on eggshells around her. After years of feeling hopeless and isolated, she enrolled in a halfway house to get some help. And one day while she was there, she had an epiphany: our thoughts are so powerful they can create a painful reality that doesn’t actually exist. This breakthrough provided the foundation for “The Work” or self-inquiry, a simple four-step technique. Byron Katie models this practice, guiding Tim from anxious thoughts about the future into the beautiful reality of the present. “A fearful mind is a dangerous mind,” Byron Katie says, “so when I question what I was believing, then it shifts my world.” She says that practicing the work “leaves you freer to do important things in the world” by helping you live with an open mind ready to “love the world without conditions.” ***Byron Katie is a self-taught practitioner, speaker, and bestselling author of “Loving What Is.” You can visit her website thework.com to find her book, her podcast, and upcoming events.***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.
  • How Unconditional Love Helps Us Recover from Our Deepest Wounds

    45:23|
    We’ve all been wounded (some more than others) and “we’re all in need of recovery,” Killian Noe says. After four decades of working with people healing from all kinds of addictions, she has found that the most powerful support we can offer is a caring community where people can show up fully as themselves, without judgment. In 2003 in Seattle, Killian co-founded Recovery Cafe, a community center that provides everything from meals to barista training to medical care to people in recovery. Guided by the truth that every human being is precious and worthy of love, the cafes appoint “ministers of presence” whose focus isn’t to fix the person in front of them but to sit with them and listen to their story. Killian talks with Tim about how presence shows up in her own life, guiding him through what she calls “a practice of return to unconditional love,” an exercise that helps her deal with shame, anger, and pain. “At any point in the day, [I can] return to that place of unconditional love… where my true identity lies,” Killian says.  ***Killian Noe is the founding director of Recovery Cafe. Before starting Recovery Café in 2004 with Ruby Takushi, Killian co-founded Samaritan Inns, a nonprofit in Washington, D.C. which provides transitional and longer-term drug- and alcohol-free, community-oriented housing for people recovering from homelessness, addiction, and other mental health challenges. She has written about Samaritan Inns in Finding Our Way Home and about Recovery Café in Descent Into Love. Learn how to bring a Recovery Cafe to your town or city at recoverycafenetwork.org. Killian’s team will provide the training, support and all of the community you need. ***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.