Need A Lift? with Tim Shriver

Growing up in 1980s New Haven, Connecticut, Lamont Young faced many challenges including poverty, racism, and isolation. Then, at 19-years old, he was shot seven times at point blank range. Miraculously, he survived, but life after the shooting was far from easy. Lamont experienced PTSD, lived in a homeless shelter, lost custody of his kids, and turned to drugs and alcohol. He credits his mother’s unconditional love and faith for helping him release his anger and finally begin the healing process. “She said, ‘It doesn't matter what happened to you in the past, what you did in the past, what anybody ever did to you in the past....Forgive yourself.’” Years later when Lamont came face-to-face with his shooter, instead of seeking revenge he chose to forgive him. “Who am I to take your life after God saved my life?... And I hugged him, my mom hugged him, and she prayed for him, and we drove off and that was it.” Lamont eventually attended rehab and after recovery he graduated with a masters in psychology from Fordham University. Today, Lamont serves a mix of youth, adults and families in his local community as a licensed mental health clinician, equipping clients with the coping skills he needed as a young man. “[I ask them] ‘How can I help? What can I do to help you?’ And once they start sharing, I’ll give them hope. Let them know no matter what [they’re] going through, this is what we’re going to do together to be able to heal [them].”***Lamont Young is a licensed mental health clinician specializing in Addiction Psychiatry. Previously, he worked at a middle school as a trauma informed therapist and at Yale Psychiatric Hospital helping transitional youth. Today, he continues to serve his community by working with a mix of young people, adults, and families. ***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Scarlett Lewis remembers feeling like there was no future for her. “I literally had this thought that I was going to dissolve,” she tells Tim, recounting the days after the death of her son Jesse at the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting on December 14th, twelve years ago. She realized there was no playbook on how to process the murder of her son, but she knew that she did not want to be a victim, or to feel hopeless. “Hopelessness is dangerous for the person feeling it and for those around them. I did not want to go down the same path as Adam Lanza. Why fight anger with anger? It doesn't do any good. It doesn't solve anything. How about fighting anger with love? That's a concept.” This idea brought her to the field of Social and Emotional Learning, or SEL. SEL gives kids tools to manage their emotions and make better choices, and Scarlett believes it has the potential to prevent violence. She built the Choose Love Movement to bring SEL curriculum to more schools, as well as prisons, workplaces, families and communities. Scarlett has been able to forgive her son’s killer, but the pain and loss of his death is with her every day. “And it is that pain that drives me to do what I do every day as well.”***Scarlett Lewis is the founder of the Choose Love Movement. You can learn more about her work at their website: chooselovemovement.org***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound. 

When Patrice Jetter and her fiancé Garry Wickham met over 30 years ago at work, they instantly clicked. “They had to separate us after a while,” Garry said. “We couldn't sit together because… all we’d do is laugh.” You can see their laughter and love for each other in the new documentary, “Patrice: The Movie,” now streaming on Hulu. It tells the story of Patrice’s life growing up as a child with a disability in New Jersey and her journey to heal from bullying, trauma and abuse. “I learned early on that I had very little control over what went on in my life,” she told Tim. In response, Patrice developed a personal philosophy of joy and positivity. She learned she could improve her day “...by just smiling or doing something to make another person laugh.” Now 60 years old, Patrice insists on living her life exactly the way she wants. She draws and makes elaborate original costumes. She figure skates and swims with Special Olympics. But there’s one thing she’s still not able to do: Marry her fiancé and best friend, Garry. In this episode, Patrice, Garry, and Tim discuss the laws keeping them apart, and their struggle for marriage rights for all couples with disabilities. ***Patrice Jetter and Garry Wickham are the stars of the new documentary, “Patrice: The Movie” now streaming on Hulu. Learn more about the film by following @patricethemovie on social media. You can go to patricethemovie.com and click “Take Action” to send a letter to your lawmakers telling them you want the marriage penalty changed.*** Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Comedians, screenwriters, and best friends, Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo are “champions of friendship.” Every year on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, they gather with seven other friends at a steakhouse in Brooklyn to vote on who had the best year. The winner takes home a “man of the year” trophy, a tradition that has sustained their friendship for almost 40 years. As a response to a survey which found that 49% of Americans reported having three or fewer friends and 12% reported having zero close friends, they launched the Man of the Year podcast in late 2022. They’re on a mission to show men why true contentment is a byproduct of healthy relationships and how deep connections have the power to shift the trajectory of your life. On the show, they provide “Friend-Ed” (friend education), offering men advice on everything from the art of the “boy’s night,” how to support a grieving friend, and how to tell your friend “I love you.”  “One tip we give to our listeners is to start with thank you. We say, ‘Thanks is a gateway emotion.’ So you start with “thank you”…make your way up to “I love you.”” Aaron Karo says. In this episode, they model their friendship-expertise in real time, offering Tim advice on a recent friend-breakup of his own, and they make a case for why friendship might be the antidote to America's “loneliness epidemic.” “I consider our deep friendship sort of an extension of family… We share values, we share goals and community,” Matt Ritter says.***Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo are comedians, screenwriters, and best friends for almost 40 years. They co-host the “Man of the Year" podcast where they help listeners make new friends, reconnect with old ones, and build lifelong social fitness. You can check out the show on Youtube or wherever you listen to podcasts.***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

As a college student majoring in psychology, Dr. Rheeda Walker quickly discovered her calling after recognizing Black people were largely absent in her field. “People who looked like me didn't seem to be represented in the psychology texts. Not in the theories, not in the stories, not in the hypotheses, not in anything,” she says. Today, as a licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Walker focuses on suicidal ideation and the prevention of suicide and the urgency it has in Black mental health.In 2016, she noticed a troubling pattern. Research showed that the suicide rate among 5 to 11 year old Black children exceeded the rate of white kids at the same age. Additionally, while suicide rates for white children declined, they'd actually increased for Black children. When these statistics only worsened through repeated studies, Dr. Walker knew that she had to act. In 2020, she wrote a book called “The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health” arguing that “in this era of discrimination, invisibility, and psychological warfare, Black people need so much more than mental health or well-being. They need an impermeable web of protection for [their minds].” Dr. Walker calls this "psychological fortitude” and she believes it goes beyond serving individuals. “It's about healing the community…then we're able to not just heal ourselves, but maybe be a model for a larger society,” Dr. Walker says.***Dr. Rheeda Walker is a licensed clinical psychologist, psychology professor at Wayne State University, and author of several books including “The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health.” You can find more of her work on her website rheedawalkerphd.com. ***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

In 1986, after two marriages, three children and a successful career, Byron Katie found herself in a downward spiral. She was so depressed she could barely leave the house and her family walked on eggshells around her. After years of feeling hopeless and isolated, she enrolled in a halfway house to get some help. And one day while she was there, she had an epiphany: our thoughts are so powerful they can create a painful reality that doesn’t actually exist. This breakthrough provided the foundation for “The Work” or self-inquiry, a simple four-step technique. Byron Katie models this practice, guiding Tim from anxious thoughts about the future into the beautiful reality of the present. “A fearful mind is a dangerous mind,” Byron Katie says, “so when I question what I was believing, then it shifts my world.” She says that practicing the work “leaves you freer to do important things in the world” by helping you live with an open mind ready to “love the world without conditions.” ***Byron Katie is a self-taught practitioner, speaker, and bestselling author of “Loving What Is.” You can visit her website thework.com to find her book, her podcast, and upcoming events.***Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.