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20. How to reclaim your focus and live less reactive
16:42||Season 5, Ep. 20When you’re in reactive mode, your environment dictates how you live your day-to-day: eating when hungry, responding to calls and texts immediately, exercising when your body is screaming for it.This is extremely cognitively expensive because it’s pulling from the finite pool of your attention and willpower.Which is why you need to shift from reactive to proactive as soon as possible.In this episode, I help you get honest with yourself about your reactive behaviour so you can create a gap between stimulus and response.This isn’t about willpower or requiring a ton of energy, but it will improve your control over your busy life.In This Episode I shareWhy living reactively is costing you energy and performanceThe difference between relying on feelings and relying on systemsWhat a personal operating system actually isWhy high performers need structure, not more motivationHow consistent nutrition creates better energy and focusThe importance of eating proactively rather than reactivelyWhy a regular bedtime is one of the highest leverage habits you can buildHow a go to bed alarm can transform your sleep routineCreating a simple sleep landing protocol that works in real lifeWhy movement should be flexible but non-negotiableThe power of domino habits and anchor behavioursHow to adapt your operating system for travel, holidays and busy seasonsWhy consistency beats perfection every timeKey Quotes“If you're relying on how you feel to decide what to eat, when to move or when to sleep, you're already behind.”“The habits that look simple are often the ones that move the needle the most.”Timestamps(00:00) Why most people live reactively(01:36) What a personal operating system is(02:27) The problem with relying on feelings(05:05) Why systems outperform motivation(08:18) Building proactive nutrition habits(10:13) The power of a go to bed alarm(12:25) Creating a sleep landing protocol(15:08) Why movement needs flexibility(18:22) Building an operating system that works in real life(20:40) Domino habits that create momentum(24:08) Adapting your operating system for different seasons(28:01) Thinking strategically about recovery and energy📖 PRE-ORDER For the Long Run by Jess Spendlove 👉https://booktopia.kh4ffx.net/n423EaTake the High-Performance Profile Quizhttps://jessicaspendlove.com/quiz/Stay At The Top🟩 Speaker Inquiries jessicaspendlove.com/speaking/🟩 Follow Jess on IG https://shorturl.at/s7egp🟩 Follow Jess on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/jessicaspendlove/📩 Jess@JessicaSpendlove.com
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19. The happiness trap no one warned you about Declan Edwards
52:35||Season 5, Ep. 19There is a right way and a wrong way to finding happiness.Unfortunately, most of us are only familiar with the wrong way: pursuing happiness.Paradoxically, our greatest pain comes from trying to pursue happiness. “I’ll be happy when”.Declan Edwards is a world-renowned Happiness Expert, a leader in positive psychology (the non-toxic kind), who has transformed the lives of high performers all across the world.Declan walks through the art of finding happiness and meaning that aren’t reliant on external factors like getting that promotion, a nice car, or a house.If you are someone who feels like your cup is always half full, then this episode is for youIn This Episode Declan ShareWhy happiness is a skill that can be learned and practisedThe relationship between happiness and successWhy high performers often fall victim to the moving goalposts phenomenonThe science behind the hedonic treadmill and hedonic adaptationWhy happiness needs a PR makeoverThe difference between joy, connection, meaning and purposeWhy emotions are not inconveniences to be avoidedPractical ways to build emotional intelligence and self-awarenessHow to reconnect with your body and understand what emotions are telling youThe parenting paradox and what it teaches us about happinessWhy connection is one of the strongest predictors of long-term wellbeingThe five foundational skills for cultivating happinessHow journaling can help you identify life's early warning signsDeclan's top habits for staying at the topKey Quotes“Success at the cost of happiness is one of the most common forms of failure.”“Our brains have this funny tendency to always be moving the goalposts for happiness.”“We get too caught up being human doings and forget to be human beings.”Timestamps(00:00) Success versus happiness(02:31) Is happiness what we should be aiming for?(05:17) Declan's journey into happiness research(08:30) Why high performers keep moving the goalposts(09:19) The hedonic treadmill explained(12:51) Why happiness needs a PR makeover(16:37) The role of emotions in a happy life(19:03) Getting out of your head and back into your body(19:55) Building emotional literacy and awareness(23:28) How becoming a parent changed Declan's perspective(29:58) Internal stability versus external stability(33:02) The five foundational happiness skills(37:31) Gratitude, journaling and retraining the brain(41:05) Life gives us a poke, then a push, then a punch(42:04) Connection, belonging and the Harvard Study(46:39) Declan's new book, How to Be Happy(49:12) Three habits that help Declan stay at the topDeclan Edwards🟩 More about Declan Edwards: https://www.rorywarnock.com/Jess Spendlove📖 PRE-ORDER For the Long Run by Jess Spendlove 👉https://booktopia.kh4ffx.net/n423EaTake the High-Performance Profile Quizhttps://jessicaspendlove.com/quiz/Stay At The Top🟩 Speaker Inquiries jessicaspendlove.com/speaking/🟩 Follow Jess on IG https://shorturl.at/s7egp🟩 Follow Jess on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/jessicaspendlove/📩 Jess@JessicaSpendlove.com18. The invisible signs you’re on the verge of burnout
16:42||Season 5, Ep. 18Do you feel like you’re hanging by a thread?You’re probably experiencing a sense of burnout.This feeling has been slowly building in the background, silently making you increasingly emotionally exhausted and cynical, and searching for an energy source in your work.Jess Spendlove explains how to recognise burnout, the questions you need to ask yourself and how to treat burnout within yourself.In This Episode I ShareWhy burnout doesn't happen overnightThe hidden cost of continually deprioritising yourselfWhy putting yourself first benefits everyone around youThe difference between operating on push energy versus rhythmMy personal experience with burnout and the warning signs I ignoredCommon early indicators that your current way of operating isn't sustainableHow energy, appetite and cravings can provide important feedbackWhy hydration and meal timing matter more than most people realiseThe Life Audit exercise I use with coaching clientsA client case study on creating consistency in a busy lifeHow to identify your own burnout warning signsPractical ways to take stock and create a more sustainable way of operatingKey Quotes“Burnout doesn't just arrive. It is a series of decisions that accumulate.”“When you put everyone and everything ahead of yourself, you are deprioritising yourself.”“You can't expect consistent output if you have inconsistent input.”Timestamps(00:00) Why burnout doesn't happen overnight(00:30) The hidden cost of putting everyone else first(02:49) My own experience with burnout(04:11) Energy, appetite and cravings as warning signs(07:33) The early signs I missed(09:52) The email mistake I'll never forget(10:52) Introducing the Life Audit(12:15) The power of a domino behaviour(13:08) Why consistency creates better energy(14:35) How to check in before you hit burnout(15:28) Identifying your personal warning signs(16:10) Why I wrote For the Long RunJess Spendlove📖 PRE-ORDER For the Long Run by Jess Spendlove 👉https://booktopia.kh4ffx.net/n423EaTake the High-Performance Profile Quizhttps://jessicaspendlove.com/quiz/Stay At The Top🟩 Speaker Inquiries jessicaspendlove.com/speaking/🟩 Follow Jess on IG https://shorturl.at/s7egp🟩 Follow Jess on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/jessicaspendlove/📩 Jess@JessicaSpendlove.com17. Use this breath pattern to reset your nervous system with Rory Warnock
50:17||Season 5, Ep. 17Breathwork specialist Rory Warnock understands how to regulate your nervous system using the power of just your breath.When you're stressed, your IQ drops as your body is flooded with cortisol and adrenaline.Rory explains how to use your breath as a technique to down-regulate your body, improve your focus, and approach life with a clearer mind.In this episode of Stay at the Top, we explore the science and practical application of breathing, from elite sport and high performance environments through to everyday life. Rory shares simple techniques you can use immediately to reduce stress, improve recovery, and gain greater control over your emotional state.If you've ever felt overwhelmed, burnt out, reactive, or like your brain is running faster than you'd like, this episode is for you.In This Episode I ShareWhy breathing is one of the most underutilised performance tools availableThe connection between breath, stress and nervous system regulationHow elite athletes use breathing techniques before, during and after competitionWhy recovery is just as important as performanceThe difference between up-regulating and down-regulating your nervous systemHow breathing influences focus, cognition and emotional regulationWhy nose breathing matters and the benefits of functional breathingThe relationship between breathing, oxygen and carbon dioxideSimple breathing techniques to reduce stress in real timeHow wearables can be used to support behaviour change and recoveryWhy high performers are struggling with stress and burnoutThe role of exercise, connection and breathwork in sustainable performanceKey Quotes“We need to eat and we need to breathe.”“It's not always about how well you can perform. It's about how well and how fast you can recover.”“Breathing is a skill. Like any skill, it can be trained.”Timestamps(00:00) Why people are struggling with stress and burnout(00:52) Meet Rory Warnock(02:41) How Rory discovered ultra running(05:29) Sustainable performance and recovery(08:53) Coaching the human before the athlete(10:23) The evolution from wellbeing to performance(15:16) Breathing techniques for elite athletes(17:15) The reset breath explained(20:55) Why foundations matter more than biohacks(22:03) Functional breathing and nose breathing(24:32) Rory's book and sharing breathing with the world(28:23) Why stress is Rory's biggest focus(29:54) What Rory sees in corporate Australia(32:08) HRV, recovery and nervous system regulation(34:58) Building a wellness club and the future of recovery(41:24) Using wearables as a guide, not a rulebook(42:16) Live breathing exercise with Jess(44:16) Why longer exhales calm the nervous system(45:12) Box breathing vs 4:6 breathing(47:42) Rory's three non-negotiables for staying at the topRory Warnock 🟩 More about Rory Warnock: https://www.rorywarnock.com/Jess Spendlove📖 PRE-ORDER For the Long Run by Jess Spendlove 👉https://booktopia.kh4ffx.net/n423EaTake the High-Performance Profile Quizhttps://jessicaspendlove.com/quiz/Stay At The Top🟩 Speaker Inquiries jessicaspendlove.com/speaking/🟩 Follow Jess on IG https://shorturl.at/s7egp🟩 Follow Jess on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/jessicaspendlove/📩 Jess@JessicaSpendlove.com16. Why your body and brain need rhythm
17:29||Season 5, Ep. 16Jess Spendlove makes the case that your body and brain aren't built for modern-day chaos.Rather, your body runs on rhythm, and consistency is the operating system your biology depends on.Jess breaks down why consistency is a system rather than a daily willpower contest, why your real constraint is energy rather than time, and how reactive, chaotic days quietly accumulate as physiological strain that leaves you running on empty.Drawing on the framework from her debut book, For the Long Run (out 29 July 2026), she introduces the five rhythms — nutrition, movement, stress and recovery, sleep, and connection — that your biology needs to run together to perform sustainably.In This Episode I ShareWhy consistency has the wrong reputationThe difference between consistency and perfectionWhy you should optimise for your busiest days, not your bestThe concept of structured flexibilityHow to identify your non-negotiable habitsWhy your body and brain thrive off rhythmThe hidden cognitive cost of chaos and unpredictabilityHow rhythm helps create more energy and clarityThe five rhythms that shape your health and performanceWhy sustainable performance is built through small repeated behavioursHow to stop benchmarking yourself against old versions of your lifeWhy your habits need to fit your current season of lifeKey Quotes“Your body and brain are literally wired for rhythm.”“Your body and brain thrive off predictability.”“The goal is not a perfect protocol. The goal is sustainable rhythm.”Timestamps(00:00) Your body and brain are wired for rhythm(00:42) Why consistency needs a PR makeover(02:03) Stop benchmarking against old versions of yourself(03:07) Structured flexibility explained(05:19) The bowling alley analogy for habits(07:36) Why health does not need to be complicated(08:52) Why your brain thrives off rhythm(10:03) The cognitive cost of chaos(11:19) Your phone battery and energy analogy(12:25) The five rhythms of sustainable performance(14:44) Building your own daily operating system(16:00) The three biggest takeaways from this episodeJess Spendlove📖 PRE-ORDER For the Long Run by Jess Spendlove 👉https://booktopia.kh4ffx.net/n423EaTake the High-Performance Profile Quizhttps://jessicaspendlove.com/quiz/Stay At The Top🟩 Speaker Inquiries jessicaspendlove.com/speaking/🟩 Follow Jess on IG https://shorturl.at/s7egp🟩 Follow Jess on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/jessicaspendlove/📩 Jess@JessicaSpendlove.com15. You can't think your way out of a problem your mind created with trauma psychologist
01:09:39||Season 5, Ep. 15Dr Maria Elena Lukeides is one of the key change makers behind making TGA-approved MDMA and psilocybin pathways accessible in Australia.She explains the neurochemistry of stress and how the body stores trauma, the mind-body disconnect in modern life, and how the dopamine treadmill trap is keeping us away from rest.Dr Maria’s 28-year experience treating adolescents and adults spans across trauma, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, low self-esteem, parenting, relationships, and major life transitions.In This Episode Dr Maria Elena SharesWhy so many people are chronically stuck in survival modeThe connection between trauma, burnout and nervous system dysregulationWhy modern life keeps us disconnected from the bodyThe difference between dopamine driven performance and oxytocin based recoveryWhy achievement alone never creates lasting fulfilmentThe impact of chronic stress on sleep, emotional regulation and healthHow panic attacks and trauma can resurface years laterThe “dropping anchor” technique for anxiety and nervous system regulationWhy rest is more than just sleepThe role of psychedelics and somatic therapy in trauma recoveryWhy healing happens through experience, not just insightHow to begin shifting from adrenaline-fuelled living to a more regulated stateKey Quotes“Trauma isn’t what happened to us. It’s how we then relate to ourselves because of the experience.”“The mind often created the problem. It’s not going to fix it.”“Achievement is a false promise when it becomes your only source of worth.”Timestamps(00:00) Jess shares her experience with trauma and panic attacks(01:08) Meeting Bessel van der Kolk and psychedelic-assisted therapy(05:03) What psychedelic-assisted therapy actually involves(11:31) Why trauma healing is experiential, not intellectual(16:21) Why integration sessions matter(20:55) Modern life, stress and nervous system dysregulation(25:10) The body, bracing and survival mode(27:48) Oxytocin, connection and the true meaning of rest(33:44) Reframing stress, chores and self-talk(37:10) The burnout loop high performers get trapped in(41:12) Why work cannot be your only purpose(46:53) Dopamine, achievement and the moving goalposts(52:08) Jess shares her experience with PTSD and insomnia(54:55) Why sleep problems are escalating(59:18) Practical tools for improving sleep and down regulation(01:06:03) The one thing Dr Maria Elena wants everyone to rememberDr Maria Elena Lukeides🟩 More about Dr Maria: https://www.drmariaelenalukeides.com.au/Jess Spendlove📖 PRE-ORDER For the Long Run by Jess Spendlove 👉https://booktopia.kh4ffx.net/n423EaTake the High-Performance Profile Quizhttps://jessicaspendlove.com/quiz/Stay At The Top🟩 Speaker Inquiries jessicaspendlove.com/speaking/🟩 Follow Jess on IG https://shorturl.at/s7egp🟩 Follow Jess on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/jessicaspendlove/📩 Jess@JessicaSpendlove.com14. Sleep smarter to THINK sharper with Dr Jemma King
01:05:31||Season 5, Ep. 14As humans, our superpower is a good night’s sleep, and yet we don’t protect it as much as we should. Sleep fuels everything we do in our waking life and helps us recover when our eyes are shut.Want better sleep?Dr Jemma King is an expert researcher in human behaviour and sleep science, and she gets to the bottom of why you’re not getting enough good sleep. You will understand how sleep impacts your physical and mental performance and why your phone is sabotaging your rest.In This Episode Dr Jemma SharesWhy sleep is one of the most powerful performance tools availableThe connection between sleep, stress and mental healthDeep sleep vs REM sleep and why both matterWhy poor sleep impacts emotional regulation and decision makingThe role of the “midnight librarian” in processing emotions and memoriesHow caffeine really affects energy and sleepWhy consistency matters more than perfectionThe relationship between nutrition, blood sugar and sleep qualityThe impact of alcohol, doom scrolling and late night stimulationHow wearables can help improve self-awareness and behaviour changePractical strategies for navigating high demand seasons and parenthoodCold exposure, naps and recovery protocolsWhy your phone may be sabotaging your sleep and stress levelsKey Quotes“Once you disentangle your circadian alignment, every single function inside every process of your body is affected.”“Caffeine does not give you energy. It blocks your tired signal.”“Sleep is the foundation that makes everything else easier.”Timestamps(00:00) Why sleep deprivation is causing chaos(01:22) Why Dr Gemma became obsessed with sleep(04:13) The modern sleep crisis(06:50) PTSD, REM sleep and emotional processing(08:49) Deep sleep and cleaning the brain(11:11) Why caffeine makes you feel worse later(12:02) Deep sleep vs REM sleep explained(13:06) Wearables, stress and sleep tracking(16:16) The power of sleep consistency(19:46) Why a go-to-bed alarm matters(20:24) The ideal morning and evening sleep routine(26:02) Nutrition, blood sugar and sleep quality(32:09) Self-awareness and behaviour change(34:10) Gut health and sleep(39:24) Navigating high stress seasons(42:54) Cold showers and stress resilience(44:26) Parenthood, sleep deprivation and relationships(53:57) How to nap properly(55:23) Doom scrolling and dopamine addiction(59:26) Coffee, alcohol and common sleep myths(01:02:02) Sleep vs exercise: which matters more?(01:03:19) Dr Gemma’s strategies to stay at the topDr Jemma King🟩 Buy Dr Jemma King’s book here: https://shorturl.at/V9gMp🟩 LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-jemma-king-phd-76013328/Jess Spendlove📖 PRE-ORDER For the Long Run by Jess Spendlove 👉 https://booktopia.kh4ffx.net/n423EaTake the High-Performance Profile Quiz https://jessicaspendlove.com/quiz/Stay At The Top🟩 Speaker Inquiries jessicaspendlove.com/speaking/🟩 Follow Jess on IG https://shorturl.at/s7egp🟩 Follow Jess on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/jessicaspendlove/📩 Jess@JessicaSpendlove.com