SexTok with Zibby and Tracey

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I am a straight man and have had a few long-term relationships in my life. Although I enjoy sex, I never ejaculate during intercourse. I am now 50. I can orgasm with intense fantasy and oral sex, but never during penetration. I have read about sensate focus, but are there other options? I am fit and healthy and have no problems ejaculating while masturbating.2) My wife has put on a lot of weight and I’m simply not attracted to her anymore. I’m struggling to get an erection when she initiates sex, and rarely initiate myself. I still love her very much, but this is clearly a problem. How do I deal with this? She keeps asking me if I think she is fat and I keep saying no, but she’s probably twice the size she was when we first met.3) I always thought my oral sex skills were second to none, but it’s clear my new partner isn’t impressed. I know I’m being childish, but I feel hurt. Why did it work on everyone but him? And what do I do now? I only know one way.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My girlfriend and I seem to be going through a ‘dry spell.’ We haven’t had sex for about three months, and we used to have it weekly. Neither of us have talked about it and I feel like it’s becoming the elephant in the room. Life has been busy lately and I guess we just got out of the habit. How do we get back on track?2) What’s your view on sharing sex fantasies with your partner? I would like to tell my boyfriend of three months some of mine, but is it a bit too early in the relationship? I’ve never shared a fantasy before, but think he could be open to it.3) I’d like to spank my partner but how do I suggest it and what do I do? Any tips would be much appreciated. To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I have some questions for each of you, rather than one of my own. Tracey, you’re always talking about the right things to do in bed but what about the wrong things? What are the top three things both of you would never do In bed? 2) What do penis sleeves feel like for women during sex? Do they feel realistic? We have been using them for years, mainly to help with my premature ejaculation during penetration. I would happily wear one every time for sex, but not sure if that’s something she would enjoy. Also, are they meant to be used to delay orgasm or to increase penis size?3) I asked my wife to say mean things to me in bed – ridicule me about my exes, my penis size, my stamina. Now I struggle to get turned on without her doing it. If she’s nice to me or shows that I am satisfying her, my orgasm isn’t half as satisfying. What is it about humiliation that makes men like me enjoy it so much?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’m a 50-year-old woman and new to sex toys. I’ve tried a few Rabbit vibrators and find them all much too powerful and rough. Can you recommend something with a smaller, more gentle style? They all seem to advertise power as a plus, but for me it's awful! 2) I’m a 37 and have never had an orgasm (by myself or with a partner). My sex drive is low, but my husband is great at oral and he’s gotten me closer to an orgasm than anyone ever has. But I don’t want to spend 40 minutes with him going down on me—even though he's happy to—so I encourage him to switch to penetration and once he orgasms, I’m done. He’d like to go straight on to round two and continue having sex for ages. I know it’s about the journey, and not the destination. But if you don’t use an orgasm as a marker, how do you know when to end sex? How do I stop never-ending foreplay or extensive penetrative sessions without saying something hurtful like, ‘I’m bored’ or ‘This isn’t interesting enough to keep me from wanting to go to sleep’?3) I’m a 38-year-old straight man and nervous about dating after leaving a long-term relationship. I wouldn’t say I’ve let myself go, but my body isn’t what it was. And it’s certainly not what I see on Instagram or mens' profiles in dating apps. I haven’t slept with anyone other than my girlfriend in 15 years and am worried I won’t measure up to this new body ideal. Am I being paranoid, or have the rules changed? To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) Why do women need different things to orgasm each time? Just when I think I’ve got it all figured out and found the spot that makes my wife orgasm, she moves the goalposts. It seems to change every time. Is this true, or am I imagining it? 2) Which feels better for women: a short, fat penis or a long, thin one? I am tall and have a long, thin one but I’m never sure whether to feel smug when people talk about big penises. Mine is long in length, but not impressive in width. I haven’t had any complaints, but most of my exes are too polite to say anything. 3) Why do most men stay silent during sex? Very few of the men I have been with talk dirty or moan. Is it to do with confidence? Do they feel silly making noise? Is this a ‘thing’ or just the men I’ve slept with?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My question is about ‘face sitting’. My husband has asked me to try this with him, which I'm more than happy to do. But would like to know a bit more about it—especially because I'm a bigger girl and don't want to hurt him. 2) My girlfriend doesn’t love giving BJs, but will do so on occasion. If she doesn’t enjoy them, it’s not fun for either of us, and if that’s the case, that’s just the way it is. But do you have any tips on getting her to enjoy them that might make a difference?3) My husband loves positions where he can penetrate deep inside me, but sometimes that’s painful for me. Is there anything we can do to stop it from hurting, but still make it fun for him?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I didn’t start having good sex until my early 30s, and within a few months of dating I started squirting. Now, it’s a ridiculous amount. I can’t have sex anywhere except on a waterproof mattress cover or blanket. Sometimes just kissing my partner makes me gush slightly which can be uncomfortable if I can’t immediately change underwear. We were hooking up in the kitchen the other day and I made a decent size puddle on the floor. Is there a way to lessen the amount of gushing or turn it off? 2) On Valentine’s Day, I gave my wife a gift—a clitoral suction toy. She enjoyed it so much that every time we have sex, she uses it. At first, I enjoyed it too (and my hands didn’t get as tired), but now I’m starting to worry. Will I become less attractive to her? Will we ever have sex without toys? Is sex with me boring or not as pleasurable? How should I deal with this?3) I’m a married man in a loving relationship and enjoying great sex with my wife. Over time, I’ve realized that I’m also attracted to men, though I’ve never fallen in love with one. I’ve been exploring my sexuality privately, but I’m unsure how to navigate this while being committed to my marriage. I’m still very attracted to my wife and don’t want to lie to her, but I also want to keep our marriage alive. Do you know anyone else who has been in a similar situation? How did they approach it, and what advice do you have for exploring bisexuality in a way that respects your partner and relationship?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My wife and I, both in our late 30s, have always enjoyed an adventurous sex life. She’s always watched porn, which leaves me cold but never bothered me. But now she wants to watch it together. I really don’t want to, and it’s causing arguments. She thinks I’m ‘weird’ and says I’m probably the only man in the world who would say no to this request.2) I’m really into having my nipples bitten HARD, but find men are nervous about doing this. How can I convince them it doesn’t hurt me? It’s the one sure way to push myself into orgasm if I’m having problems getting there. 3) I want to ask my new girlfriend to give me an orgasm via prostate massage using a sex toy or her finger. A previous partner did this, and it was the most intense, deep orgasm I have ever experienced. I’m nervous to suggest it in case she thinks it’s dirty. When should I bring it up and how?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’ve been listening to your podcast since the beginning and my question is similar to other male listeners: I'm 51, my wife is 55, and we’ve been married for 20 years. We have four kids in their older teens. Our sex life has been virtually non-existent for at least six years, and we have had no sex at all in the last year. We don't even sleep in same bed anymore. We tried therapy and that didn't work. My wife suffers from migraines and insomnia. I try to be empathetic, but I'm getting frustrated. Time is running out for us and I don't want to be in a sexless marriage for the rest of our lives. I love my wife and our family, but I’m a virile man. What can I do?2) What’s the etiquette when you surprise your partner as they are masturbating? This happened to me last week. Do you creep out hoping they didn’t see you (sadly they did)? Do you apologize briefly and leave them to it? If you do, what do you say when you see them next? Acknowledge the act or simply make no comment at all? Do you offer a hand or join in? I was utterly lost for words. We both masturbate on our own every now and then, but have never come across the other in the act itself. I’d be so interested to get your take.3) What do you do if you’re on the verge on an orgasm but can’t seem to get over the hump? I’m a 26-year-old straight woman.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!