The Michelle Collins Show with Michelle Collins

Enjoy this free episode of Midnight Snack! And head to MichelleCollinsLive.com to snag tickets to The Big Natural Tour and www,patreon.com/michcoll to listen to Michelle's show every day.You have no idea the amount of twists and turns that await you on this Midnight Snack. Dan Acton opens the show with rugburns on his face, but we promise they're for reasons you will NEVER guess. Thick neck? You bet! Meanwhile, Dan creates his own Curb episode at the Alamo Drafthouse, and *phone buzz* sorry one second *checks phone* apologies, Dan's nudes finally came through. #OnlyDans It's actually a twisted story and will serve as a warning some many of you who listen. Meanwhile, Steve Jobs read his daughter to literal filth on his deathbed, and one slender Reddit mom doesn't want her body positive daughter to lay a hand on her wedding gown. 

This is the free version of this week's Midnight Snack! To hear the entire episode, sign up for a free trial at patreon.com/michcoll Come closer so we can stroke your arm and hold your hand as Dan Acton and Michelle walk you through this Golden Globe nominated episode. Michelle nearly gets nabbed by Dutch customs in a very Bourne-like premise starring her and 3 humongous suitcase, while Dan is busy pleasuring people in airport breastfeeding pods (not really but.....) We then unpack the hand-holding seen round the world... Drew & Oprah, what to do when receiving or giving a horrible present, the worst gifts you've ever given, a 7 foot tall man who has "problems" "dating," in-laws dropping by unannounced, and what happens when bringing your dog to the office inspires other people to do the same.... plus lots of random side stories as usual!

Enjoy this free episode of Midnight Snack! To listen to it in its entirety, head to patreon.com/michcoll to sign up for a free trial.This episode is a less a snack and more a MEAL as so many cloches are whipped away to reveal things you need to hear! Michelle is joined by Dan, and the episode kicks off with a hilarious tale of thinking you're in a private showing of a film, only to have it be interrupted by a nice girl named Rebecca with interesting personal boundaries! Michelle gives her opinion on Saltburn aka The Talented Mr. Gen Z (she loved it) followed by an absolutely SLOPPY Chipotle visit that needs to be UNPACKED!!!! "It's almost like an autopsy table where they do the scooping..." exactly!! Then, for you  patrons, we get into some Chipotle intrigue, specifically a woman who hurled a bowl at an employee and her hilarious sentencing by our new favorite person Judge Gilligan. And an incredible Sushi Sock update that finally clears Michelle's brother's name!!!! This episode is one for the ages. Enjoy!

This is the free version of Midnight Snack! To hear the entire episode, head over to Patreon.com/michcoll and sign up for a free trial!It's an XXL edition of Midnight Snack this week, with Dan Acton and Michelle HYPED UP on some early AM CAFFEINE and ready to GIVE. In typical SNACK fashion, we unpack our deepest childhood traumatic memories all stemming from a flea market circus. (South Floridians: YES we're talking about the Swap Shop.) Michelle talks about her sprained lil ankle, which was completely her fault, and Dan recaps a mid-air flight with his plane seatmate which leaves Michelle wondering whose side she's on. New Year's Even plans are hashed, rehashed, and ultimately left in the air, we reminisce about the innocence of Craigslist, Sharon Stone "still bangable at 65" (her words), and an advice question involving surveilling your teen that will leave you SPEECHLESS.

To hear the full episode plus daily episodes of The Michelle Collins Show, sign up for a free trial at patreon.com/michcoll. We promise you will love it! Now the the blurb:It's been a minute since Dan and Michelle have reunited to chat, and they don't even know where to begin. From this phantom child's energy that's been following Michelle around all week, to Dan's first foray into men's shapewear (he is NOT the one wearing it relax), not a stone is left unturned. Following a little outlet mall recap (you can guess who gives this), they ask an important question: What do you bring in your overnight bag when staying at a romantic partner's house? If you said "one single condom" your name is Jordan Character and you are definitely a real person (this will make sense upon listening). Plus... LOTTO DRAMA! A lotto lawsuit leaves these old friends wondering about lottery legal ramifications that only a lawyer can answer. Now, if you'll excuse us... we have some scratchoffs to get to... *vinyl pants squeak away*

Hi Midnight Snackers! We are doing daily episodes of The Michelle Collins Show (as well as Midnight Snacks!) over on www.patreon.com/michcoll. Head over to sign up for a free trial, the content is flowing. Please enjoy this free episode with hilarious guest Mamrie Hart! It's a HALLOWEEN MIRACLE!! As The Michelle Collins Show welcomes one of the funniest to walk the Earth Mamrie Hart, of This Might Get Weird fame, to the show to celebrate HER favorite holiday.. Halloween!! It's like prom night between the Home Depot skeleton and Lil Amal! (Google.) Mamrie (who insists we use cams, video of which will be available to the Hello Everybody tier) shows up guns ablazin to unpack everything from martini carts to her Little Scamp Era, selling lone plums to neighbors, to her Fuddruckers era, where Michelle has stories revolving around hot tall Italian fake cops and their designer crossbody bags. This episode is SLUNG and HUNG!!! (Michelle is now wanted by Italian Authorities.)

To celebrate a year of her mogul era, this episode of The Michelle Collins Show is free! To hear more episodes of this and Midnight Snack, head to www.patreon.com/michcoll to sign up for a free trial and to also watch video of this episode. Thank you all for a fabulous year!How has it already been a year?! (Minus one day?) To celebrate what has genuinely been the most fun year in recent memory, Michelle is joined by her "lil sis" Abby Holland to reminisce about where they've come from and discuss some of the usual garbazh. As there is VIDEO of this ep (check the Patreon for the post!) the girls marvel over their mutual symmetry and possible "secretly rich" aura. One has wine, one has coffee, so ya know it's a scene. From Abby's visit to "Devil's Post Pile" (?) to Michelle's broken laptop, it's been an exciting 24 hours. Also covered: Designer eye patches, showering habits, alert babies, stir-fry, salad bars, contact lenses, Tony Danza vs John Stamos, and a house demolishing where we can all agree... YOU CALL IT, WE HAUL IT. We love you guys!! Thank you for a great year!!!

FIRSTLY: We're cracking the case as to why the connection was so-so this episode. Know that things like this drive Michelle (typing) legitimately INSANE, and will be remedied for next week. SECONDLY: The episode still does what it needs to do! Dan is a regular Nalgene Kelly, we touch ever-so-lightly upon the Lizzo suit, we get the LOWDOWN on FLUTES, reminisce about the alcohols we're allergic to, and ask ourselves what we'd do in a NO QUESTIONS ASKED situation. Thank you for believing in us and our wifi!!

This is the free episode!! To hear the full episode, go to Patreon.com/michcollMidnight Snack is an appropriate title for this week's episode as Michelle (Collins) and Dan (Acton) discuss the trials and tribulations of disgusting eaters, stemming from an upsetting yogurt bowl licking incident we'd like to never think about again. (Too late.) Plus, remember Gchat? The days of the past, we miss them so. Then, a lilll more Barbie talk, as Michelle realized maybe the reason she didn't connect with the movie was skeletally based. On to advice! One listener writes in with a typical dating app conundrum (you can write us too michcollshow@gmail.com), a cousin who sends romantic texts, a husband's friend who has welllllllll-crosssssseddd the line (Mich gets fired up at Dan about this but she loves him haha), and other questions that will have you FIRED UP in the COMMENTS.