Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fain

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Self-Sacrifice Is Not The Future of Business or Medicine with Shavawn Boyer, RN

Ep. 26

So, you have a vision for what you want your life to look like – but you keep being pulled in different directions. You feel responsible for doing all the things – and society tells you that your role is to lose yourself in service to others. 


How are you supposed to take care of others when you are so depleted? And what if you don't have the time or means to take a spa weekend or travel the globe (none of us have that right now anyway)?


In this episode, Karlee chats with Shavawn Boyer, a nurse currently helping in the fight against COVID-19. She’s dedicated her life to helping heal others – but a few years ago she decided she would no longer do that at the expense of her own mental and physical health. And now she's more clear than ever about what she is going to do in order to stay on the front-lines to help others for the long-haul - spoiler: it's not about sacrifice..


It’s time to break free from the "I'll get to myself later" mindset. Permission granted to put your mask on first, and here is exactly how one woman did just that when simple things like just drinking a cup of water or going to the bathroom felt like too much of a burden when she worked - like it might distract from the mission at hand: being of service to others.


Some Questions I Ask: 

  • How was it that Lil Wayne introduced us to each other? (11:47)
  • How was being a nurse making it even easier to have an eating disorder? (12:49)
  • What was the first small step you took to reclaim time for your own nourishment? (18:19)
  • What does the care for medical staff look like right now in your hospital, during this pandemic? (26:17)
  • What is one thing that you know makes sense for you moving forward even if others disagree? (35:31)
  • Where do you go for inspiration or a dose of courage? (41:53)


In This Episode, You Will Learn: 

  • How Shavawn absorbed the message that everyone else goes first, and herself last. (14:14)
  • How a 20 second practice in drinking water transformed Shavawn’s life. (18:29)
  • Why regular self-care makes Shavawn stand out in a crowd. (24:27)
  • What it’s like to be a nurse during the COVID-19 pandemic. (29:01)
  • About Shavawn’s secret talent: interpreting guidance from the universe. (38:45)


Resources: 

Connect with Shavawn at AlopeciaEmpress.com

Ready to have more time and energy? Start here

More Episodes

1/10/2022

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Ep. 114
How do you define success? Is it about pleasing your boss, your staff, or your clients? Is it about the numbers reflected in your bank account? Does success mean being available, even though it often wears you out?Now, how many of those reference points for success are really about you, and how many are about other people’s perceptions of you?Real, meaningful success depends on your reference point. Our goals have to be shaped around what we value in and for ourselves, rather than what others value in and about us.If you’re calibrating your goals based on the preferences, priorities, and needs of others over what you know to be true for you, then YOU aren’t the reference point.And that’s gotta change.In this episode, Karlee talks about the difference between self-referencing a goal versus other-referencing a goal. She shares real-life examples of meaningful self-reference success points and walks you through a straightforward process that will help you identify a personal formula for success that’s based on what you value.If you’re ready to lead with clarity, confidence, and a better understanding of exactly what your next steps are, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:What gets obscured in the fog of success (9:39)The difference between goals that are self-referenced and other referenced (12:57)An example of to-the-point self referencing (15:10)The 3 W’s that’ll help you identify what gives you life (18:37)How to incorporate more of what you value into your life (25:29)People Mentioned in this Episode:Jen Delos ReyesNancy LevinResources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 113: Building a Stronger Basket: How to plug up the leaks of what’s draining you and preserve more energy for the things you value.Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
1/3/2022

Building a Stronger Basket: How to plug up the leaks of what’s draining you and preserve more energy for the things you value.

A friend calls desperate for a coffee date. It’s your day off and it’s been a long week. And, these coffee dates with this particular friend always leave you feeling drained.But, you don't want to hurt their feelings. So you grab your coat and keys and reluctantly head out the door.You’ve had this business idea floating around in your head for a while now. But every time you get a burst of energy and feel ready to put more time into developing this concept, something always gets in the way.Your current job. A social media side-track. You feel like maybe you should clean the house or do laundry instead.So that idea stays floating in the ether.There’s a foundation that we’re built upon…it’s something we all want and need to preserve. But life and people and work and other distractions always seem to compromise the sturdiness we seek.That, my friends, is leaky basket syndrome.And if you’re a woman in this world, you’ve been conditioned to carry around a basket that’s prone to leaking.If you've ever struggled with follow through, or you feel like you’re stuck in relationships that aren’t feeding you very well anymore but you’re afraid to let them go, then know this:You are not a screw up.Your basket is the foundation that every plan and decision you’re going to make this year needs to depend upon if it’s going to survive.So, we've got to plug those leaks. We've got to plan and get resourced if we want our plans to stand a fighting chance.In this episode, Karlee describes some of the most common culprits of leaky basket syndrome, and why historically, those of us who identify as women have been uniquely susceptible to condoning punctures within our foundations. She’ll pinpoint the emotional cues that are letting you know when something is draining your resources and keeping you from living into the plans you make. You’ll learn a simple 4-step system for tending to your basket and learn a practical, pragmatic way to mend those leaks for good.Boundaries take practice, but remember… YOU are the curator of the gallery of your life.If you’re ready to accept this invitation to build a sturdier basket, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why January is a terrible time to get new goals (1:10)What tending to your basket looks like: a 4-step system (3:63)Identifying leaky basket syndrom (12:45)The one permission you can grant yourself that’ll mend up a few leaks (17:00)Some of the most common leaks that might need mending (18:22)How to shake off the need to people-please in our DNA (22:43)A quick, doable exercise for mending those leaks (25:17)Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Got Holiday Blues? How we flip the switch from self-judgement to joy.

Ep. 112
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