Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fain

Share

Nobody really gets you? How to upgrade your adult relationships

Ep. 2

Ever feel like you’re surrounded by good people, but nobody really understands what you have to do to get through each day?  Other people praise you for how much you get done, or how good your life and career look on paper, yet you know you are capable of more...but when is that supposed to happen when you are so busy, right?!


There’s a term for this: Popular Isolation. 


In this episode, Karlee Fain is going to share proven strategies for curing Popular Isolation: develop meaningful adult relationships that go below the surface to lift you up. She covers research-based reasons for why having quality friends really matters as adults, and how strong friendships uplift society. To make sure all bases are covered, Karlee also shares 3 doable ways to start making friends as an adult. 


Because here’s the deal: If you don’t consciously create the opportunities to create meaningful connections with people that nourish you deeply, you might not notice until you are exhausted, depleted, and always feeling behind.  The good news: this is fixable.


Tune in to learn how to form meaningful, lasting relationships with friends as an adult, and how the power of healthy friendships will elevate you from feeling like you are never enough, to a career and lifestyle that loves you back.


In This Episode, You Will Learn: 

  • Why having quality friends as adults improve all aspects of life & society. (4:04)
  • How women and men respond to stress differently. (5:24)
  • The symptoms of Popular Isolation. (8:59)
  • What key attributes to look for in good friends, and who to avoid. (12:42)
  • How to cure Popular Isolation. (16:25)
  • Some conversation starters to help you dive below the surface. (18:27)
  • Three quick and actionable ways to make friends as an adult. (21:50)


Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

“Biobehavioral responses to stress in females: tend-and-befriend, not fight-or-flight.”

Sacred Success by Barbra Stanny

“Episode 147: 7 Ways to Make Friends As an Adult” on the Kate & Mike Show


Connect with Karlee Fain: 

Website

Facebook

Instagram

More Episodes

1/17/2022

Want to Be “Enough”? Here’s how women get resourced.

Ep. 115
Kicking off a new year by casting a wider net is common for a lot of folks… but that’s not what we do here.Here, we take our cues from nature. And in the natural world, winter is a time for going deeper.It’s a time for making sure our bodies are nourished, our bellies are full, and our baskets are filled with everything we’ll need for the journey of the year to come.When we start this new cycle by gathering the resources that’ll see us through, then we’re far less likely to feel depleted down the road.Getting resourced helps us to know the difference between enough work and over-working.Getting resourced equips us with the self-awareness required to lead without harm to ourselves or to others.In this episode, Karlee shares why getting resourced now is the key to your physical, mental, and emotional longevity all year long. She reveals the four C-19 L’s that high-achieving women have been struggling with since the early days of the pandemic, and what these four indicators are telling you about the resources you should be building up now.You’ll learn about a specific type of leader that really shouldn’t be trusted, and why our cultural glorification of these types of leaders only directs us more towards toxic productivity. Karlee also shares five free or low-cost, high-ROI ways you can obtain more resources right now that’ll help you fill your basket to the brim.If you’re ready to be deeply supported and stop doing all the heavy lifting in order to make what you want to experience next happen, then this is the episode for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:What bodily neglect is telling you about your work (2:19)The 4 L’s that Covid has introduced to our lives and how to shake them (11:20)One myth that needs debunking right now (18:11)Pinpointing the resources you might be lacking (21:26)Creative ways to add more free time to your days (27:38)People Mentioned in this Episode:Kate NorthrupAdam GrantResources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 113: Building a Stronger BasketEpisode 114: Putting the Self in SuccessEpisode 41: Is Your Work Mojo Down?Grant, A. (2021, April 19). There's a Name for the Blah You're Feeling: It's Called Languishing. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.htmlFREE Character Strengths AssessmentConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedIn
1/10/2022

Putting the Self in Success: How to shape your goals around what gives you joy and meaning

Ep. 114
How do you define success? Is it about pleasing your boss, your staff, or your clients? Is it about the numbers reflected in your bank account? Does success mean being available, even though it often wears you out?Now, how many of those reference points for success are really about you, and how many are about other people’s perceptions of you?Real, meaningful success depends on your reference point. Our goals have to be shaped around what we value in and for ourselves, rather than what others value in and about us.If you’re calibrating your goals based on the preferences, priorities, and needs of others over what you know to be true for you, then YOU aren’t the reference point.And that’s gotta change.In this episode, Karlee talks about the difference between self-referencing a goal versus other-referencing a goal. She shares real-life examples of meaningful self-reference success points and walks you through a straightforward process that will help you identify a personal formula for success that’s based on what you value.If you’re ready to lead with clarity, confidence, and a better understanding of exactly what your next steps are, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:What gets obscured in the fog of success (9:39)The difference between goals that are self-referenced and other referenced (12:57)An example of to-the-point self referencing (15:10)The 3 W’s that’ll help you identify what gives you life (18:37)How to incorporate more of what you value into your life (25:29)People Mentioned in this Episode:Jen Delos ReyesNancy LevinResources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 113: Building a Stronger Basket: How to plug up the leaks of what’s draining you and preserve more energy for the things you value.Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
1/3/2022

Building a Stronger Basket: How to plug up the leaks of what’s draining you and preserve more energy for the things you value.

A friend calls desperate for a coffee date. It’s your day off and it’s been a long week. And, these coffee dates with this particular friend always leave you feeling drained.But, you don't want to hurt their feelings. So you grab your coat and keys and reluctantly head out the door.You’ve had this business idea floating around in your head for a while now. But every time you get a burst of energy and feel ready to put more time into developing this concept, something always gets in the way.Your current job. A social media side-track. You feel like maybe you should clean the house or do laundry instead.So that idea stays floating in the ether.There’s a foundation that we’re built upon…it’s something we all want and need to preserve. But life and people and work and other distractions always seem to compromise the sturdiness we seek.That, my friends, is leaky basket syndrome.And if you’re a woman in this world, you’ve been conditioned to carry around a basket that’s prone to leaking.If you've ever struggled with follow through, or you feel like you’re stuck in relationships that aren’t feeding you very well anymore but you’re afraid to let them go, then know this:You are not a screw up.Your basket is the foundation that every plan and decision you’re going to make this year needs to depend upon if it’s going to survive.So, we've got to plug those leaks. We've got to plan and get resourced if we want our plans to stand a fighting chance.In this episode, Karlee describes some of the most common culprits of leaky basket syndrome, and why historically, those of us who identify as women have been uniquely susceptible to condoning punctures within our foundations. She’ll pinpoint the emotional cues that are letting you know when something is draining your resources and keeping you from living into the plans you make. You’ll learn a simple 4-step system for tending to your basket and learn a practical, pragmatic way to mend those leaks for good.Boundaries take practice, but remember… YOU are the curator of the gallery of your life.If you’re ready to accept this invitation to build a sturdier basket, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why January is a terrible time to get new goals (1:10)What tending to your basket looks like: a 4-step system (3:63)Identifying leaky basket syndrom (12:45)The one permission you can grant yourself that’ll mend up a few leaks (17:00)Some of the most common leaks that might need mending (18:22)How to shake off the need to people-please in our DNA (22:43)A quick, doable exercise for mending those leaks (25:17)Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.