Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fain
Curing the Knee Jerk “Yes”: Doable Boundaries That Will Set You Free with Nancy Levin
Someone just asked you to do something for them, and before you’ve even had the chance to think it through, you find yourself saying, “Sure! I’d love to!” . Then, when the time comes to actually do it, you feel resentment rising within yourself. Familiar?
Saying “yes” is a knee-jerk reaction for many of us. Whether you say “yes” out of obligation, genuine excitement, or just muscle memory, that feeling of resentment or exhaustion that follows is a key indicator that it’s time to up your boundary game.
But what do you do when someone pushes back on your boundary?
Or they call you a b*tch for speaking your mind?
In this episode, Karlee interviews Nancy Levin, a boundary-setting master, and author of Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free, on how to know what to say on the spot when someone crosses your boundaries and how to respond to pushback.
Nancy sheds light on the idea of what a boundary truly is, and why a boundary – by her definition – cannot be crossed by someone else. Instead, you are the only one who can cross your boundary, and you are the only one who can uphold them, too.
Tune in to learn to remedy the rising resentment within and reclaim your time and energy through setting and honoring your own boundaries.
Some Questions Karlee Asks:
- What are some signs it's time to upgrade our boundaries? (5:06)
- What’s a real-life example of how to maintain a boundary once you make one? (11:13)
- How do people-pleasers finally have time their needs as much as (or even more!) than others’ needs? (24:10)
- Why do we think setting a boundary makes us selfish? (35:10)
- Why did you publish a book about boundaries right now? (40:09)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- Rewind - why boundaries actually have nothing to do with other people. (5:17)
- Busting the myth that setting boundaries mean managing other people’s behavior. (13:17)
- How to say "no" without having to convince or prove yourself. (19:44)
- 3 steps to give yourself permission to consider your own needs at least as much as everyone else. (22:06)
- Why women have disowned the quality “selfish,” and how fear of fear prioritizing yourself is messing you up. (36:10)
Connect with Nancy to Upgrade Your Boundaries and Worth: