Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fain

1/24/2022

Overwhelm Got You Down? Then it’s time to get S.M.A.R.T.S | How to set holistic and sustainable goals in a changing world

Ep. 116
If this particular time in your life and in the world feels a bit overwhelming, well…you’re definitely not the only one.Our world has felt kinda shaky and uncertain for a while now, and we’re all just here, together, rockin’ along with the boat.That’s why it’s important to take control where you can. Because one thing we know to be true is there’s only one reliable, infallible, and fool-proof antidote to overwhelm.When you’re feeling overwhelmed, then that means it’s time to get focused.And there’s nothing better at bringing more focus into your life than long-term than goal-setting. But, we’re not talking about traditional models of goal-setting…ohhh, no, no.For a goal to be sustainable, it’s gotta be about what’s realistic for you. It’s got to be specific to the here and now. AND, it needs to be holistic so that it fits into in all areas of your life.In this episode, Karlee helps you figure out how to cultivate plans that are practical, purposeful, meaningful, and most importantly, how to make them actually work for you. And, even how to make sticking with them enjoyable. If your goals feel like they’re depleting or exhausting you, you’re about to learn a smarter, more realistic way to make sure your goals reach the finish line.You’ll learn why the antidote to overwhelm when making plans is to get specific, and how to make your goals malleable so they work within the context of your changing life. She shares a modern goal-setting strategy that takes some wisdom from decades past, but rearranges it in order to more effectively meet you here in the current moment, and in our current economy.If you’re ready to turn your overwhelm into focus and set sustainable goals that work with your life, then this is the episode for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why being malleable in your form and function is important (1:49)How to goal-set holistically so you’re supported in all areas of your life (11:19)A fresh version of the S.M.A.R.T. goal mapping system (17:29)Evaluating how realistic your goals are with 3 simple questions (24:32)How to be malleable if the goal isn’t sustainable (31:21)People Mentioned in this Episode:Sophie WeillResources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 113: Building a Stronger BasketEpisode 114: Putting the Self in SuccessEpisode 115: Want to Be “Enough”? Here’s how women get resourcedThe Active Ingredient Podcast with Sophie WeillBook: The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth about Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan
1/17/2022

Want to Be “Enough”? Here’s how women get resourced.

Ep. 115
Kicking off a new year by casting a wider net is common for a lot of folks… but that’s not what we do here.Here, we take our cues from nature. And in the natural world, winter is a time for going deeper.It’s a time for making sure our bodies are nourished, our bellies are full, and our baskets are filled with everything we’ll need for the journey of the year to come.When we start this new cycle by gathering the resources that’ll see us through, then we’re far less likely to feel depleted down the road.Getting resourced helps us to know the difference between enough work and over-working.Getting resourced equips us with the self-awareness required to lead without harm to ourselves or to others.In this episode, Karlee shares why getting resourced now is the key to your physical, mental, and emotional longevity all year long. She reveals the four C-19 L’s that high-achieving women have been struggling with since the early days of the pandemic, and what these four indicators are telling you about the resources you should be building up now.You’ll learn about a specific type of leader that really shouldn’t be trusted, and why our cultural glorification of these types of leaders only directs us more towards toxic productivity. Karlee also shares five free or low-cost, high-ROI ways you can obtain more resources right now that’ll help you fill your basket to the brim.If you’re ready to be deeply supported and stop doing all the heavy lifting in order to make what you want to experience next happen, then this is the episode for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:What bodily neglect is telling you about your work (2:19)The 4 L’s that Covid has introduced to our lives and how to shake them (11:20)One myth that needs debunking right now (18:11)Pinpointing the resources you might be lacking (21:26)Creative ways to add more free time to your days (27:38)People Mentioned in this Episode:Kate NorthrupAdam GrantResources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 113: Building a Stronger BasketEpisode 114: Putting the Self in SuccessEpisode 41: Is Your Work Mojo Down?Grant, A. (2021, April 19). There's a Name for the Blah You're Feeling: It's Called Languishing. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.htmlFREE Character Strengths AssessmentConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedIn
1/10/2022

Putting the Self in Success: How to shape your goals around what gives you joy and meaning

Ep. 114
How do you define success? Is it about pleasing your boss, your staff, or your clients? Is it about the numbers reflected in your bank account? Does success mean being available, even though it often wears you out?Now, how many of those reference points for success are really about you, and how many are about other people’s perceptions of you?Real, meaningful success depends on your reference point. Our goals have to be shaped around what we value in and for ourselves, rather than what others value in and about us.If you’re calibrating your goals based on the preferences, priorities, and needs of others over what you know to be true for you, then YOU aren’t the reference point.And that’s gotta change.In this episode, Karlee talks about the difference between self-referencing a goal versus other-referencing a goal. She shares real-life examples of meaningful self-reference success points and walks you through a straightforward process that will help you identify a personal formula for success that’s based on what you value.If you’re ready to lead with clarity, confidence, and a better understanding of exactly what your next steps are, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:What gets obscured in the fog of success (9:39)The difference between goals that are self-referenced and other referenced (12:57)An example of to-the-point self referencing (15:10)The 3 W’s that’ll help you identify what gives you life (18:37)How to incorporate more of what you value into your life (25:29)People Mentioned in this Episode:Jen Delos ReyesNancy LevinResources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 113: Building a Stronger Basket: How to plug up the leaks of what’s draining you and preserve more energy for the things you value.Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
1/3/2022

Building a Stronger Basket: How to plug up the leaks of what’s draining you and preserve more energy for the things you value.

A friend calls desperate for a coffee date. It’s your day off and it’s been a long week. And, these coffee dates with this particular friend always leave you feeling drained.But, you don't want to hurt their feelings. So you grab your coat and keys and reluctantly head out the door.You’ve had this business idea floating around in your head for a while now. But every time you get a burst of energy and feel ready to put more time into developing this concept, something always gets in the way.Your current job. A social media side-track. You feel like maybe you should clean the house or do laundry instead.So that idea stays floating in the ether.There’s a foundation that we’re built upon…it’s something we all want and need to preserve. But life and people and work and other distractions always seem to compromise the sturdiness we seek.That, my friends, is leaky basket syndrome.And if you’re a woman in this world, you’ve been conditioned to carry around a basket that’s prone to leaking.If you've ever struggled with follow through, or you feel like you’re stuck in relationships that aren’t feeding you very well anymore but you’re afraid to let them go, then know this:You are not a screw up.Your basket is the foundation that every plan and decision you’re going to make this year needs to depend upon if it’s going to survive.So, we've got to plug those leaks. We've got to plan and get resourced if we want our plans to stand a fighting chance.In this episode, Karlee describes some of the most common culprits of leaky basket syndrome, and why historically, those of us who identify as women have been uniquely susceptible to condoning punctures within our foundations. She’ll pinpoint the emotional cues that are letting you know when something is draining your resources and keeping you from living into the plans you make. You’ll learn a simple 4-step system for tending to your basket and learn a practical, pragmatic way to mend those leaks for good.Boundaries take practice, but remember… YOU are the curator of the gallery of your life.If you’re ready to accept this invitation to build a sturdier basket, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why January is a terrible time to get new goals (1:10)What tending to your basket looks like: a 4-step system (3:63)Identifying leaky basket syndrom (12:45)The one permission you can grant yourself that’ll mend up a few leaks (17:00)Some of the most common leaks that might need mending (18:22)How to shake off the need to people-please in our DNA (22:43)A quick, doable exercise for mending those leaks (25:17)Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
12/27/2021

Got Holiday Blues? How we flip the switch from self-judgement to joy.

Ep. 112
Congratulations! You’ve made it to the end of another year…How do you feel about it?In the grande scheme of what’s passed, the things you’ve learned, and how you’ve grown, where might you point the arrow on your joy-o-meter?Ok, ok…let’s scale it back a little.Let’s be in the now. What’s bringing you joy right now?You see, the holidays carry with them a veneer of happiness and celebratory tendencies, but that’s not always how it feels for everyone.Maybe you don’t feel like celebrating.Maybe the thought of family-time brings you anxiety.Maybe you just can’t wait until it’s over and done with.Maybe there’s a whirlwind of other stuff going on in your heart right now and it’s got you feeling weighed down.These lows, especially during the holidays, can feel exaggerated in comparison to the jingle-bells world taking place outside our windows.So, how do we tend to that heaviness in order to find respite and tap into what brings us joy?In this episode, Karlee and co-host Anitza Martins talk about what it’s like to experience heart-heaviness during times that are supposed to be filled with joy. They discuss how guilt manifests when you’re just not feeling festive, and why it’s so important to get to the root of our emotions rather that stuff them away. Karlee shares a simple trick she uses to mood-shift and quickly access the nourishment she needs when the storm clouds need shaking.Remember: We thrive on nourishment, not punishment.If you’re ready to get to the root of what’s bringing you down and flip the switch from self-judgement to joy, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:How to show up when you’re heart is feeling heavy (4:13)Different expressions of joy and what it can look like (8:15)Gaining claritly on what’s bringing you down by asking a simple question (9:47)What to expect from the show in 2022 (12:29)Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Listen In: The Boundary BrunchSend your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
12/20/2021

Ok, but what makes sense for you NOW?: Lessons on thriving in a hustle-driven world.

Ep. 111
The seasonal energy of this month is palpable. It’s in the crisp wintery air, the sparkling trees, and the holiday tunes that seem to start a little earlier every year. For many of us, it’s a season full of family, friends, parties, and the death of any self-control when it comes to sweets.So, because we’re big believers in the natural rhythm of the seasons, we’re taking this final month of the year to culminate. We’re turning inward and reflecting on what we’ve learned this year.In this episode, Karlee and co-host Anitza Martins dive deep into the reflection pool of not only this past year, but all the way back to the beginning of Karlee’s first season as an podcaster. In this heartfelt Q&A sesh, Aniza asks Karlee the real questions about what it’s like to lead an organization centered around boundary setting and thriving… and to truly lead by example.You’ll hear what Karlee has learned about balancing work while maintaining meaningful relationships, and where she chose to draw the line early on when it came to sacrifice. She shares why the values she holds dear are seasonal and don’t need to tending 100% of the time in order to endure. Karlee and Aniza also talk about letting go of the pressure to “do it all”, and why it can be so satisfying to pass the keys to the drivers seat to the experts while you settle into the passenger side.If you’re ready to pause, reflect and settle a little deeper into culmination season, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why we’re talking about pleasure and meaning this month (1:33)Karlee’s culmination: lessons learned and from whom (3:02)Why all values have their season (7:54)The relief in letting someone else be the expert (9:50)Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Ep. 109: Are You Self-Stingy? How to stop skimping on your needs and receive the resources to THRIVE.Listen In: The Boundary BrunchSend your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
12/13/2021

Feelin’ the Boundary-Backlash? How to stop fearing the boundary reactions of others and create the environment you need in order to thrive.

Ep. 110
This time of the year is all about going inward and allowing yourself some pre-holiday social rest. Chilly hints from Northern Hemisphere skies in the form of snow days and icicles are a literal permission slip to stay home, get cozy, and reflect.So, what have we been reflecting on?A whole year of boundary practice: Are we setting enough of them? Are we letting fear get in the way? How can we set more of them? What if my boundaries make people mad?Know this: A boundary is a contract between you and you; between yourself and what you value. If the boundary you’ve created isn’t respected, even if someone gets upset, their reaction is their decision...and their reaction is usually not your responsibility to manage.Over time, we know that relationships change. The ones that don’t hold water anymore will shift currents. And that’s how the river keeps moving forward, past all of the fallen trees and boulders that might try to impede its progress.In this episode, Karlee and this month’s co-host Anitza Martins are offering up another bite-sized portion of audio dark chocolate for your listening pleasure. And this week, it’s Boundary-flavored...our favorite!Today, you’ll hear why boundary-setting can sometimes create conflict, and how you can handle that disharmony in a healthy, meaningful way. They’ll talk about processing the real information that’s wrapped up in other people’s emotional responses, and why it’s perfectly ok to give yourself permission to walk away.Thriving is all about setting the boundaries you need, maintaining them, and making sure that the current you’re rolling with is made up of people who are supporting you in being and finding your best self.If you’re ready to stop fearing the boundary reactions of others and create the environment you need in order to thrive, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:How to overcome your boundary-based fears (2:42)The messaging wrapped within other people’s responses to our boundaries (4:01)Separating the reasonable from the unreasonable (7:40)The joy of not doing things you don’t wanna do anymore (10:05)People Mentioned in this Episode:Dr. Valerie ReinSend your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
12/6/2021

Are You Self-Stingy? How to stop skimping on your needs and receive the resources to THRIVE.

Ep. 109
We go through life doing a whole lotta things that we don’t really want to do.Laundry. Homework. “Work”-work. Taxes.Ok, so those things you actually do have to do.But, what about those other things you sort of just fall into doing or being responsible for?For example, was your career path something you thought deeply about, or did you just kind of fall into a job? And do you find meaning in the work you do, or does it leave you feeling like you need to hibernate for a few days as soon as you walk out the door?Or maybe the role you play among friends or family (“the mediator”, “the responsible one”, “the fixer” etc.) is starting to wear you out. But, you’d feel really guilty if you just stopped being that person because people need that from you, right? So, you just continue to do it anyway.The thing is...if you really carved out the time to reflect on what actually brings you joy, you might just find a way to align that with how you want to spend your days. Your career. Your family gatherings.In this episode, Karlee kicks off a short and sweet series with special co-host extraordinaire Anitza Martins. They’ll unpack the “equation for thriving” as defined by the field of Positive Psychology that explains what’s working for people who’ve managed to cultivate zest, joy and passion, even in tough times.Today, you’ll hear how letting go of unwanted expectations that aren’t serving you leaves more room to discover what might serve you better. You’ll learn a doable way to find space for pleasure in your days, and how that leads to deeper meaning.Meaning gives us purpose. And it has the power to transform the work you do, create positive changes within your relationships, and bring more joy to your human experience.Those seeds just need space to grow.If you’re ready to stop skimping on what brings your life meaning and gift yourself more joy, then this is the episode for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:What the field of positive psychology calls the “equation for thriving” (2:53)What it means when “tradition lays a trap” (6:48)What if you struck when the iron was cold? (9:22)Leaning into joy, even when times are hard (13:00)Anticipating change and appreciating the small things (16:11)Resources Mentioned in this Episode:The Boundary AcademyPeople Mentioned in this Episode:Suzy Banks BaumSend your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
11/29/2021

Need an Escape? How to harness the power you already have to bolster the life you want. | With Caroline Castrillon

Ep. 108
If you find yourself in the middle of a story, having to make some decisions because one area of your career or health or relationships is shifting, then this is the episode for you.As a busy, high-achieving woman in this world, you’re well-accustomed to a tight calendar. As much as you pack into those little boxes, it’s still hard to say “no” when your boss, family, social circle, or anyone else asks you to fit just one more thing in there.Like an overstuffed suitcase, you just keep trying to squeeze in an extra pair of pants here, another cozy cardigan there…until you have to sit on top of it just to get the zipper closed.And at the end of every overstuffed month, you ask yourself: “Is this how it’s always gonna feel?”Well, here’s a thought… What if you just said “no”?What if you took control of your calendar and carved out regular, intentional breathing room…what might that space feel like?Daring to pause, to be intentional, and to refill your cup isn’t selfish. It’s actually generous.When you’re able to show up more nourished and rested, you come through in a better headspace and with a fuller heart. And harnessing that presence and authenticity is one of the most generous things you can do for others, whether it’s your boss, your co-workers, your partner, your friends, or your kids.In this episode, Karlee welcomes the founder of Corporate Escape Artist, Caroline Castrillon. After 25 years of corporate success in leadership roles with Fortune 500 companies like Dell and Sony, Caroline made the leap towards entrepreneurship. Today, her company helps successful, driven women who are stuck in the daily grind of too much work and helps them carve out more time to pause and find nourishment. She is a contributor to Forbes and Thrive Global and has been featured in publications including the New York Times, Entrepreneur, Inc., and Success Magazine.Today, you’ll hear what drove Caroline to defect from the always busy corporate career ladder in order to harness more control over her life, and how she’s helping others do the same. She points out the importance of getting comfortable with fear being present when you’re flirting with the idea of change, but you’re afraid to take the leap. She also talks about the importance of cultivating a “no” practice, and how to use that untapped power to redirect your days, months, and ultimately, change the direction of your life.Or, in Caroline’s own words, how to go from “soul-sucking jobs to career fulfillment”.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:The “taboo” things women should be talking more about (7:12)Why we have to get comfortable with fear and keep moving ahead (9:56)Recognizing the power you have to direct your life (16:57)Cultivating a “no” practice (25:09)The one thing you have to know before making a meaningful transition (34:18)How gaining clarity over your life shifts your mental state and ripples outward (47:18)Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Article: Castrillon, C. (2021, July 18). This is how to transition from manager to leader. Forbes. Retrieved November 23, 2021Connect with Caroline Castrillon:Corporate Escape ArtistInstagram