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Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fain

How women rise in their career, health and relationships


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  • 144. Self-Help Not Helping? | Why doing less gets better results

    15:41
    When it comes to focusing on our mental and physical well-being, the common cure always seems to be to do….something. Buy a book, take a class, get a gym membership, whatever it is, it asks for a time commitment. When time is already stretched to capacity, adding anything else just puts more pressure on us to do it all. So what if instead of adding, we subtracted?This week, Karlee explains why all of those self-help books and gym memberships are collecting dust. The cure to overwhelm isn’t tacking on more when we’re already chronically busy. If we believe we always have to be doing more, we can’t be present and enjoy what’s already good. In this episode, you’ll learn why the idea of self-help can be flawed at its core. You’ll hear powerful methods for feeling the way you want to feel before you reach your goals so that reaching them becomes inevitable and more enjoyable in the process.  You’ll also get the go-ahead to accept that what you’re doing is already enough. If you’re ready to flip the script on self-help and tap into a more meaningful way to be well, then this is the episode for you.  What You’ll Learn in This Episode:A softer method of communicating (3:56)The sticky trap of the self-help industry (6:15)How to align your energy with your intentions (8:53)Proven ways to bolster your well-being (11:38)The permission slip you’ve been waiting for (12:59)Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 141Episode 142Episode 143Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee: WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.

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  • 143. Giving It All But Not Getting Enough Back? | How to reset the relationships that drain you

    11:35
    You make time for the people in your life. You’re the one they call on, and they know they can depend on you to come through when it matters. And yet….In your own moments of need, it doesn’t quite feel like you have the same resources to call upon.Not only does being the ‘available one’ put a constant draw upon your time and energy, but it leaves you tapped dry when you’re in need of nourishment yourself. This week, Karlee shares what happens when you give and give to everyone, but you don’t get back in return. Relationships that cause us to overextend ourselves aren’t sustainable. But there is a way to recalibrate them, or close the door on them if need be, and it doesn’t have to hurt. In this episode, you’ll learn to identify emotionally taxing relationships that are leaving you feeling overextended and determine which ones lack the crucial element of reciprocity. You’ll learn how to step back with a steady kindness. And you’ll hear how you can start to seek out deeper, more meaningful, and more reciprocal connections that will fill your cup. If you’re ready to close the door for good on one-sided relationships, then this is the episode for you. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:When relationships aren’t reciprocal (1:39)Finding sustainability in how much you give to others (5:21)Being capable and caring toward yourself (6:25)The Crowd’Em Out Approach (7:16)Being intentional and standing with yourself (9:15)Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 141Episode 142Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee: WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
  • 142. Can’t Find Your Finish Line? | How to decide when you truly have done enough

    16:23
    How many times has, ‘Oh, just one more thing’ become a vortex that sucks you back into work mode? Then before you know it, 2 hours have blown by and you’re missing that yoga class you really needed today. If not knowing when to close your laptop, get up and stretch, go for a walk, or even go on vacation is a common theme in your life, then it might be time to ask yourself…Who’s drawing my finish line? This week, Karlee takes you down the slippery slope of calling it quits when you actually have done enough. Whether it’s your workday, your home duties, or a labor-of-love project that’s keeping you in “go” mode, knowing when to say stop is an essential part of what makes a healthy, thriving, balanced human.  In this episode, you’ll learn what’s behind this deeply held belief that more productivity equals more achievement. You’ll learn how you can begin to face the urge to do more with a quick reality check. You’ll also learn how to make the journey easier by bolstering your support system. If you’re ready to be the one who decides where your finish line rests, then this is the episode for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Finding your finish line (3:00)How to stop that “must do more” feeling in its tracks (5:54)Who decides when you’ve reached ‘enough’ (7:26)What to do if you feel alone in your need for change (11:17)Busting an age-old myth to find an easier path toward growth (13:19)People Mentioned in this Episode:Maria SiroisSend your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee: WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
  • 141. Feel Like You're Never Doing Enough? | How to hack the comparison complex and find more joy

    16:20
    What is enough, exactly?Who decides when you've achieved it?A mile-long list that needs to get done before you permit yourself to call it a day…sound familiar? Before you can kick off your shoes and relax on the couch or go for a run or get back to that book that’s been near-impossible to put down, your inner voice is laying down the guilt trip.When all of those items don’t end up with a check next to them at the end of the day, they follow us to the places where joy is supposed to reside. Access to the things that refill our cup gets hijacked by incessant reminders that whatever we did get done, welp…sorry, it just wasn’t enough.But that voice isn’t yours.It’s the voice of comparison that’s keeping you up at night.And you don’t have to listen to it anymore. This week, Karlee reveals the true source of those ‘not enough’ whispers that occupy our thoughts. Those societal cues only prevent us from reaching for the nourishment and replenishment that our bodies and minds need to thrive. It’s time to lasso that inner voice and fling it into oblivion. In this episode, you’ll learn why joy seems to always be at arm's length and how you can start to pull it inward. You’ll learn how a simple reality check can create space between your thoughts and actions, helping you make an informed choice about when, and if, the “thing” needs to be done. If you’re ready to mute the comparison complex so you can create space and amplify joy in your life, then this is the season for you. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:The thing that keeps getting in the way of joy (3:28)Exchanging information overload for something simpler (5:18)Where the feeling of ‘not enough’ comes from (7:21)What’s really behind our tendency to compare ourselves to others (9:32)A powerful move for breaking through the ‘do more’ thought loop (11:54)Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Book: Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown Article: Seligman’s PERMA+ Model Explained: A Theory of WellbeingPeople Mentioned in this Episode:Kara LowentheilBrene BrownSend your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee: WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
  • Trailer | Season 13 Coming March 3rd

    01:51
    Join us next week as Karlee launches the 13th season of Messy and Magnificent!We'll be cutting through the clutter and noise to simplify things - to remind ourselves of our best wisdom and how very capable we already are.Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee: WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
  • 138. From Burnout Culture to Rest Culture with Saundra Dalton-Smith

    58:13
    Are those two-week vacations not really doing it for you anymore?Better question…have they ever really done it for you? Packing your bags, catching a plane to some exotic locale, dealing with airport security, shifting into tourist mode for a week, then doing it all again just to come home, how is that considered rest? The truth is that we were born into a burnout culture. And the “two weeks PTO” carrot on the stick ain’t cutting it. Vacations are wonderful, but they aren’t “rest”. They’re like putting a bandaid on burnout when what we really need is resuscitation. It’s time for a cultural exchange that shifts us away from the drudgery of burnout culture and encourages us to embrace a culture of rest.   This week, Karlee welcomes Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a Board-Certified internal medicine physician, speaker, and award-winning author. She is an international well-being thought leader and author of numerous books, including her bestseller Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity.  Her insight on the seven types of rest helps people understand their specific rest deficits as a means to overcome burnout, increase overall happiness, and live more meaningful lives.In this episode, you’ll identify what burnout looks and feels like, and you’ll start to recognize the effect sustained burnout can have on your quality of life and your relationships. You’ll recognize how living and growing up in a burnout culture has taught us to treat vacations as cures, and why those breaks never really relieve our emotional burdens. You’ll also learn about the seven types of specific rest you need, which of them you need more of, and practical ways you can start to nourish your rest deficits. If you’re ready to rip the bandaid off of burnout culture and take the time to deepen your understanding of what rest is and start to get more of it, then this episode is for you. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Putting a bandaid on burnout vs getting real rest (5:49)The Seven Types of Rest (10:46)Recognizing the energy givers and takers in your life (26:35)Growing up in a burnout culture (31:33)Rest and the virtue of selflessness (39:13)Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Video: TED: The 7 types of rest every person needs Dr. Saundra Dalton-SmithBook: Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your SanityFREE Quiz: Personal Rest AssessmentConnect with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith:Website: DrDaltonSmith.comTwitter Handle: @DrDaltonSmithFacebook Page: Dr. Saundra Dalton – SmithInstagram: @DrDaltonSmithPinterest: @DrDaltonSmithConnect With Karlee: Website
  • 137. My Community Runneth Over | Why “self-care” isn’t only about you with Tanika Ray

    36:52
    When you think about self-care, the term itself implies that it’s just about one person...you.  But actually, that doesn’t tell the whole story. As we move through our lives, we’re supported by stilts. Like a house on the water, you might not always see them holding you up, but you couldn’t be there without them. Those stilts are the hands of your community. Friends, family, partners, and pets, some are just ships passing in the night, while others remain steadfast throughout our lives. Particularly when the seas feel choppy and life changes course with little warning, those steady hands become our path to sanctuary. They keep us connected to our roots, and they are what guide us back home to self. This week, Karlee invites you to take respite in the wisdom of Tanika Ray, a pop culture & lifestyle specialist with a holistic view of the cross sections of culture. Her podcast, Mamaste, is a sanctuary for the mommy collective. There, she fosters community and amplifies wellness, self-love, self-care, life lessons, and unapologetic boundaries.In this episode, you’ll hear how becoming a mother profoundly shifted Tanika’s perspective about what’s important, and how it changed her definition of rest. She shares detailed insights from her upbringing, telling the story of her search for authentic community and for her truth, starting from the inside out. Rest can often feel like a defiant act of self-care. But sanctuary needs stilts.  If you’re ready to find sanctuary and claim the space you need to come “home” to yourself, then this episode - and this community- are for you. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why community is an important part of creating sanctuary (2:41)How parenting changes your worldview (5:54)Sourcing validation from the inside out (10:36)Why the definition of rest is highly personal (15:16)Getting to the roots of why your fears exist (19:40)Resources included in this Episode: Book: Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity by Saundra Dalton-SmithArticle: What is a flow state and what are its benefits? (no date) Headspace. Available at: https://www.headspace.com/articles/flow-state (Accessed: December 19, 2022).  Connect with Tanika Ray:Podcast: Mamaste with Tanika RayInstagramTwitterConnect With Karlee: WebsiteLinkedInInstagram