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Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fain

How women rise in their career, health and relationships

Welcome to Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fain - The place driven women come to elevate their career, health, and relationships, not by working so hard anymore, but by finally having the space to breathe, hear your own
Latest Episode1/24/2022

Overwhelm Got You Down? Then it’s time to get S.M.A.R.T.S | How to set holistic and sustainable goals in a changing world

Ep. 116
If this particular time in your life and in the world feels a bit overwhelming, well…you’re definitely not the only one.Our world has felt kinda shaky and uncertain for a while now, and we’re all just here, together, rockin’ along with the boat.That’s why it’s important to take control where you can. Because one thing we know to be true is there’s only one reliable, infallible, and fool-proof antidote to overwhelm.When you’re feeling overwhelmed, then that means it’s time to get focused.And there’s nothing better at bringing more focus into your life than long-term than goal-setting. But, we’re not talking about traditional models of goal-setting…ohhh, no, no.For a goal to be sustainable, it’s gotta be about what’s realistic for you. It’s got to be specific to the here and now. AND, it needs to be holistic so that it fits into in all areas of your life.In this episode, Karlee helps you figure out how to cultivate plans that are practical, purposeful, meaningful, and most importantly, how to make them actually work for you. And, even how to make sticking with them enjoyable. If your goals feel like they’re depleting or exhausting you, you’re about to learn a smarter, more realistic way to make sure your goals reach the finish line.You’ll learn why the antidote to overwhelm when making plans is to get specific, and how to make your goals malleable so they work within the context of your changing life. She shares a modern goal-setting strategy that takes some wisdom from decades past, but rearranges it in order to more effectively meet you here in the current moment, and in our current economy.If you’re ready to turn your overwhelm into focus and set sustainable goals that work with your life, then this is the episode for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why being malleable in your form and function is important (1:49)How to goal-set holistically so you’re supported in all areas of your life (11:19)A fresh version of the S.M.A.R.T. goal mapping system (17:29)Evaluating how realistic your goals are with 3 simple questions (24:32)How to be malleable if the goal isn’t sustainable (31:21)People Mentioned in this Episode:Sophie WeillResources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 113: Building a Stronger BasketEpisode 114: Putting the Self in SuccessEpisode 115: Want to Be “Enough”? Here’s how women get resourcedThe Active Ingredient Podcast with Sophie WeillBook: The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth about Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan
1/24/2022

Overwhelm Got You Down? Then it’s time to get S.M.A.R.T.S | How to set holistic and sustainable goals in a changing world

Ep. 116
If this particular time in your life and in the world feels a bit overwhelming, well…you’re definitely not the only one.Our world has felt kinda shaky and uncertain for a while now, and we’re all just here, together, rockin’ along with the boat.That’s why it’s important to take control where you can. Because one thing we know to be true is there’s only one reliable, infallible, and fool-proof antidote to overwhelm.When you’re feeling overwhelmed, then that means it’s time to get focused.And there’s nothing better at bringing more focus into your life than long-term than goal-setting. But, we’re not talking about traditional models of goal-setting…ohhh, no, no.For a goal to be sustainable, it’s gotta be about what’s realistic for you. It’s got to be specific to the here and now. AND, it needs to be holistic so that it fits into in all areas of your life.In this episode, Karlee helps you figure out how to cultivate plans that are practical, purposeful, meaningful, and most importantly, how to make them actually work for you. And, even how to make sticking with them enjoyable. If your goals feel like they’re depleting or exhausting you, you’re about to learn a smarter, more realistic way to make sure your goals reach the finish line.You’ll learn why the antidote to overwhelm when making plans is to get specific, and how to make your goals malleable so they work within the context of your changing life. She shares a modern goal-setting strategy that takes some wisdom from decades past, but rearranges it in order to more effectively meet you here in the current moment, and in our current economy.If you’re ready to turn your overwhelm into focus and set sustainable goals that work with your life, then this is the episode for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why being malleable in your form and function is important (1:49)How to goal-set holistically so you’re supported in all areas of your life (11:19)A fresh version of the S.M.A.R.T. goal mapping system (17:29)Evaluating how realistic your goals are with 3 simple questions (24:32)How to be malleable if the goal isn’t sustainable (31:21)People Mentioned in this Episode:Sophie WeillResources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 113: Building a Stronger BasketEpisode 114: Putting the Self in SuccessEpisode 115: Want to Be “Enough”? Here’s how women get resourcedThe Active Ingredient Podcast with Sophie WeillBook: The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth about Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan
1/17/2022

Want to Be “Enough”? Here’s how women get resourced.

Ep. 115
Kicking off a new year by casting a wider net is common for a lot of folks… but that’s not what we do here.Here, we take our cues from nature. And in the natural world, winter is a time for going deeper.It’s a time for making sure our bodies are nourished, our bellies are full, and our baskets are filled with everything we’ll need for the journey of the year to come.When we start this new cycle by gathering the resources that’ll see us through, then we’re far less likely to feel depleted down the road.Getting resourced helps us to know the difference between enough work and over-working.Getting resourced equips us with the self-awareness required to lead without harm to ourselves or to others.In this episode, Karlee shares why getting resourced now is the key to your physical, mental, and emotional longevity all year long. She reveals the four C-19 L’s that high-achieving women have been struggling with since the early days of the pandemic, and what these four indicators are telling you about the resources you should be building up now.You’ll learn about a specific type of leader that really shouldn’t be trusted, and why our cultural glorification of these types of leaders only directs us more towards toxic productivity. Karlee also shares five free or low-cost, high-ROI ways you can obtain more resources right now that’ll help you fill your basket to the brim.If you’re ready to be deeply supported and stop doing all the heavy lifting in order to make what you want to experience next happen, then this is the episode for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:What bodily neglect is telling you about your work (2:19)The 4 L’s that Covid has introduced to our lives and how to shake them (11:20)One myth that needs debunking right now (18:11)Pinpointing the resources you might be lacking (21:26)Creative ways to add more free time to your days (27:38)People Mentioned in this Episode:Kate NorthrupAdam GrantResources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 113: Building a Stronger BasketEpisode 114: Putting the Self in SuccessEpisode 41: Is Your Work Mojo Down?Grant, A. (2021, April 19). There's a Name for the Blah You're Feeling: It's Called Languishing. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.htmlFREE Character Strengths AssessmentConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedIn
1/10/2022

Putting the Self in Success: How to shape your goals around what gives you joy and meaning

Ep. 114
How do you define success? Is it about pleasing your boss, your staff, or your clients? Is it about the numbers reflected in your bank account? Does success mean being available, even though it often wears you out?Now, how many of those reference points for success are really about you, and how many are about other people’s perceptions of you?Real, meaningful success depends on your reference point. Our goals have to be shaped around what we value in and for ourselves, rather than what others value in and about us.If you’re calibrating your goals based on the preferences, priorities, and needs of others over what you know to be true for you, then YOU aren’t the reference point.And that’s gotta change.In this episode, Karlee talks about the difference between self-referencing a goal versus other-referencing a goal. She shares real-life examples of meaningful self-reference success points and walks you through a straightforward process that will help you identify a personal formula for success that’s based on what you value.If you’re ready to lead with clarity, confidence, and a better understanding of exactly what your next steps are, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:What gets obscured in the fog of success (9:39)The difference between goals that are self-referenced and other referenced (12:57)An example of to-the-point self referencing (15:10)The 3 W’s that’ll help you identify what gives you life (18:37)How to incorporate more of what you value into your life (25:29)People Mentioned in this Episode:Jen Delos ReyesNancy LevinResources Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 113: Building a Stronger Basket: How to plug up the leaks of what’s draining you and preserve more energy for the things you value.Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
1/3/2022

Building a Stronger Basket: How to plug up the leaks of what’s draining you and preserve more energy for the things you value.

A friend calls desperate for a coffee date. It’s your day off and it’s been a long week. And, these coffee dates with this particular friend always leave you feeling drained.But, you don't want to hurt their feelings. So you grab your coat and keys and reluctantly head out the door.You’ve had this business idea floating around in your head for a while now. But every time you get a burst of energy and feel ready to put more time into developing this concept, something always gets in the way.Your current job. A social media side-track. You feel like maybe you should clean the house or do laundry instead.So that idea stays floating in the ether.There’s a foundation that we’re built upon…it’s something we all want and need to preserve. But life and people and work and other distractions always seem to compromise the sturdiness we seek.That, my friends, is leaky basket syndrome.And if you’re a woman in this world, you’ve been conditioned to carry around a basket that’s prone to leaking.If you've ever struggled with follow through, or you feel like you’re stuck in relationships that aren’t feeding you very well anymore but you’re afraid to let them go, then know this:You are not a screw up.Your basket is the foundation that every plan and decision you’re going to make this year needs to depend upon if it’s going to survive.So, we've got to plug those leaks. We've got to plan and get resourced if we want our plans to stand a fighting chance.In this episode, Karlee describes some of the most common culprits of leaky basket syndrome, and why historically, those of us who identify as women have been uniquely susceptible to condoning punctures within our foundations. She’ll pinpoint the emotional cues that are letting you know when something is draining your resources and keeping you from living into the plans you make. You’ll learn a simple 4-step system for tending to your basket and learn a practical, pragmatic way to mend those leaks for good.Boundaries take practice, but remember… YOU are the curator of the gallery of your life.If you’re ready to accept this invitation to build a sturdier basket, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why January is a terrible time to get new goals (1:10)What tending to your basket looks like: a 4-step system (3:63)Identifying leaky basket syndrom (12:45)The one permission you can grant yourself that’ll mend up a few leaks (17:00)Some of the most common leaks that might need mending (18:22)How to shake off the need to people-please in our DNA (22:43)A quick, doable exercise for mending those leaks (25:17)Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
12/27/2021

Got Holiday Blues? How we flip the switch from self-judgement to joy.

Ep. 112
Congratulations! You’ve made it to the end of another year…How do you feel about it?In the grande scheme of what’s passed, the things you’ve learned, and how you’ve grown, where might you point the arrow on your joy-o-meter?Ok, ok…let’s scale it back a little.Let’s be in the now. What’s bringing you joy right now?You see, the holidays carry with them a veneer of happiness and celebratory tendencies, but that’s not always how it feels for everyone.Maybe you don’t feel like celebrating.Maybe the thought of family-time brings you anxiety.Maybe you just can’t wait until it’s over and done with.Maybe there’s a whirlwind of other stuff going on in your heart right now and it’s got you feeling weighed down.These lows, especially during the holidays, can feel exaggerated in comparison to the jingle-bells world taking place outside our windows.So, how do we tend to that heaviness in order to find respite and tap into what brings us joy?In this episode, Karlee and co-host Anitza Martins talk about what it’s like to experience heart-heaviness during times that are supposed to be filled with joy. They discuss how guilt manifests when you’re just not feeling festive, and why it’s so important to get to the root of our emotions rather that stuff them away. Karlee shares a simple trick she uses to mood-shift and quickly access the nourishment she needs when the storm clouds need shaking.Remember: We thrive on nourishment, not punishment.If you’re ready to get to the root of what’s bringing you down and flip the switch from self-judgement to joy, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:How to show up when you’re heart is feeling heavy (4:13)Different expressions of joy and what it can look like (8:15)Gaining claritly on what’s bringing you down by asking a simple question (9:47)What to expect from the show in 2022 (12:29)Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Listen In: The Boundary BrunchSend your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
12/20/2021

Ok, but what makes sense for you NOW?: Lessons on thriving in a hustle-driven world.

Ep. 111
The seasonal energy of this month is palpable. It’s in the crisp wintery air, the sparkling trees, and the holiday tunes that seem to start a little earlier every year. For many of us, it’s a season full of family, friends, parties, and the death of any self-control when it comes to sweets.So, because we’re big believers in the natural rhythm of the seasons, we’re taking this final month of the year to culminate. We’re turning inward and reflecting on what we’ve learned this year.In this episode, Karlee and co-host Anitza Martins dive deep into the reflection pool of not only this past year, but all the way back to the beginning of Karlee’s first season as an podcaster. In this heartfelt Q&A sesh, Aniza asks Karlee the real questions about what it’s like to lead an organization centered around boundary setting and thriving… and to truly lead by example.You’ll hear what Karlee has learned about balancing work while maintaining meaningful relationships, and where she chose to draw the line early on when it came to sacrifice. She shares why the values she holds dear are seasonal and don’t need to tending 100% of the time in order to endure. Karlee and Aniza also talk about letting go of the pressure to “do it all”, and why it can be so satisfying to pass the keys to the drivers seat to the experts while you settle into the passenger side.If you’re ready to pause, reflect and settle a little deeper into culmination season, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why we’re talking about pleasure and meaning this month (1:33)Karlee’s culmination: lessons learned and from whom (3:02)Why all values have their season (7:54)The relief in letting someone else be the expert (9:50)Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Ep. 109: Are You Self-Stingy? How to stop skimping on your needs and receive the resources to THRIVE.Listen In: The Boundary BrunchSend your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
12/13/2021

Feelin’ the Boundary-Backlash? How to stop fearing the boundary reactions of others and create the environment you need in order to thrive.

Ep. 110
This time of the year is all about going inward and allowing yourself some pre-holiday social rest. Chilly hints from Northern Hemisphere skies in the form of snow days and icicles are a literal permission slip to stay home, get cozy, and reflect.So, what have we been reflecting on?A whole year of boundary practice: Are we setting enough of them? Are we letting fear get in the way? How can we set more of them? What if my boundaries make people mad?Know this: A boundary is a contract between you and you; between yourself and what you value. If the boundary you’ve created isn’t respected, even if someone gets upset, their reaction is their decision...and their reaction is usually not your responsibility to manage.Over time, we know that relationships change. The ones that don’t hold water anymore will shift currents. And that’s how the river keeps moving forward, past all of the fallen trees and boulders that might try to impede its progress.In this episode, Karlee and this month’s co-host Anitza Martins are offering up another bite-sized portion of audio dark chocolate for your listening pleasure. And this week, it’s Boundary-flavored...our favorite!Today, you’ll hear why boundary-setting can sometimes create conflict, and how you can handle that disharmony in a healthy, meaningful way. They’ll talk about processing the real information that’s wrapped up in other people’s emotional responses, and why it’s perfectly ok to give yourself permission to walk away.Thriving is all about setting the boundaries you need, maintaining them, and making sure that the current you’re rolling with is made up of people who are supporting you in being and finding your best self.If you’re ready to stop fearing the boundary reactions of others and create the environment you need in order to thrive, then this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:How to overcome your boundary-based fears (2:42)The messaging wrapped within other people’s responses to our boundaries (4:01)Separating the reasonable from the unreasonable (7:40)The joy of not doing things you don’t wanna do anymore (10:05)People Mentioned in this Episode:Dr. Valerie ReinSend your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.comConnect With Karlee:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.