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Make Your Damn Bed
sunk costs in relationships 2
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(re-release) If you’re struggling to know whether or not you’re falling victim to the sunken cost fallacy in your current relationships, there are some reflective questions you can ask to check in and ensure you’re not settling.
Do you feel like you need to stay in your relationships?
Or do you feel like you want to stay in your relationships?
Do you resent the amount of time or energy you’ve put in? Or do you focus more on the amount you’ve grown and changed together through that energy?
If you find yourself focusing more on the things you’ve lost in your relationships (which are things you can never recover) rather than the things you have gained? (which is growth you can never lose) than you may be staying out of obligation rather than desire - which is a surefire way to build resentment and toxicity in your relationships, if you haven’t already.
Realize that past investment is exactly that. Your time and your energy and your efforts cannot be recovered - no matter what happens next.
Ask yourself, if you were starting over today, would you choose this person again? I do that regularly when I clean out my closet and decide what clothing gets to stay - as well as with my relationships and friendships to really ensure that I am continuously choosing people who are best for me and where I would like to go.
Then imagine what the future will likely look like if things remain as they are right now, with your person. What do you feel about that? Would anything NEED to change on your end or on their end to make a happy union more likely?
Think about a time when you have left a relationship in the past. Is that a relationship you wish you had back? Probably not. Making the decision to leave is often the hardest part. But cutting your losses now will be easier than cutting even higher and broader losses in the future.
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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
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1865 || the empathy trap
09:57|Too much empathy is not always a good thing. Human empathy is highly selective, which means it's not always "fair" or objective. Fortunately, there are ways to be empathetic, more fairly. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-problem-with/202605/the-problem-with-empathyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Against_Empathyhttps://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200930-can-empathy-be-bad-for-youSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1865 || when it's all too familiar, make life strange
10:28|When things become familiar, we ignore their magic. Defamiliarization is a way to reclaim that magic. It's a way to renew our perception and reclaim meaning. It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it. - Anaïs NinDefamiliarization is a literary technique coined by Viktor Shklovsky in 1917, that makes familiar objects or experiences seem strange so readers see them in a new way. It works by disrupting “habitual” perception, so the text revitalizes ordinary details and encourages fresh understanding. It's a way to see things again, for the first time. This is why art exists. And why it's important to make room for it. THE SOURCES:https://zuckermanhartung.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/shklovsky-art-as-technique.pdfhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aplG3ia8mA&t=37shttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defamiliarizationhttps://liberalarts.oregonstate.edu/wlf/what-defamiliarization-definition-and-examplesSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1864 || your thoughts aren't real
09:37|Your thoughts aren't real until you make them real with your reactions. Don't let them snowball into something worse by giving them more credit than they are due. Learning to detach your attention is a very effective way to reclaim your brain from intrusive thoughts. THE SOURCES:https://psychology-spot.com/thoughts-are-not-real/https://time.com/article/2026/04/27/should-you-trust-your-gut-feeling-or-is-it-anxiety/https://psychology-spot.com/thoughts-are-not-real/Support the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1863 || is it anxiety or intuition?
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11:57|(The previous version was yesterday's episode, I am so sorry! But this is the updated one.)The three broad categories of neurotic needs essentially describe how people can cope with their social experiences. This leads to different personality types that tend to fit into three categories:AggressiveCompliantDetachedTHE SOURCES:https://www.verywellmind.com/horneys-list-of-neurotic-needs-2795949https://www.verywellmind.com/how-neuroticism-affects-your-behavior-4782188https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroticismhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traitsSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1862 || levels of neuroticism
11:19|We exist on a spectrum of neuroticism. Naturally, the more self-aware you are, the more anxiety you will experience about you existence. That said, neuroticism is manageable with some intentional redirection. You can learn problem solving skills and practice mindfulness to learn how to cope with discomfort without disconnecting from ourselves completely. THE SOURCES: https://www.verywellmind.com/horneys-list-of-neurotic-needs-2795949https://www.verywellmind.com/how-neuroticism-affects-your-behavior-4782188https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroticismhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traitsSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSA Become a READING PARTNER Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1861 || put in your 2 cents or end up 2 cents short
12:09|We've been conditioned to betray ourselves at every turn, so much so that many of us don't have a clue on what we actually want or who we actually are. We have been taught to self-abandon at every angle, so we can accommodate everyone and everything around us. This self-betrayal is a false security. It's not how the world improves, but it's what we've been taught is necessary for a better world. But when we're scared to put in our two cents, we often end up two cents short. OTHER RESOURCES:Support the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1860 || questioning yourself
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