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Day 437 || how to defuse I
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Build the connection before you reach for the correction.
a lot of communication does happen non verbally - so offer kindness and listening and empathy through your expressions. If you’re standing, face the person directly but don’t tower or “muscle up”, show you’re receptive by sitting up straight and actively listening to the speaker.
People who roll their eyes and shake their head and keep attempting to speak over others are far less likely to actually get any points across because it only serves to escalate emotions and trigger people’s fear of feeling unheard and disrespected.
But obviously verbal communication is VERY important to manage and streamline as well. If you can continuously approach people with a respectful tone regardless of how angry, frustrated, or petty you feel; you’re ahead of the game.
Maybe it comes in the form of being more passive, or sarcastic, or some of us are more direct - but tone and expression can change the entire conversation - even if the words you say are identical. Saying - “I’m feeling like you didn’t understand me” can come off very different than “I’m feeling like you didn’t understand me”
When a conversation is getting tense, it can be good to reassure the other person, that you’re on their team and you’re acting in good faith and not attempting to pull the rug out from under them. This will allow them to let their guard down and trust you so they aren’t coming from as much of a defensive and shut down place. Remember, if someone has their defenses up, those shields block EVERYTHING from entering - including logic and reasoning. So the key is deescalate so they know that they are safe with you.
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1874 || rights don't actually exist
09:48|Rights are social agreements. If they can be taken away by the "higher power" at any time, they are not "rights" they are privileges. What constitutes a right changes over time. So, we must fight for and defend the rights of EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME. THEY ARE ONLY MEANINGFUL BECAUSE WE GIVE THEM MEANING. George Carlin on Human Rights Rights vs. Responsibilities: Indigenous Perspectivehttps://www.culturalsurvival.org/publications/cultural-survival-quarterly/indigenous-peoples-are-essential-rights-naturehttps://www.spectacle.org/0400/natural.htmlSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1873 || expressive emotions vs. suppression
11:40|How we display our emotions vary based on where we were born. There are consequences to our cultural influences. https://pressbooks.bccampus.ca/discoverpsychology2/chapter/culture-and-emotion/https://nobaproject.com/modules/culture-and-emotionhttps://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/this-is-america/202603/how-social-cultural-and-political-structures-influence-our-feelingsSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1872 || socialized emotion
10:41|The expression of our emotions, the value we put on them, and how we're affected by them is dependent on how we're socialized. The importance we put on certain emotions varies across cultures. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/201803/how-culture-shapes-emotionshttps://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/this-is-america/202603/how-social-cultural-and-political-structures-influence-our-feelingsSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1871 || emotions are manufactured
08:55|Emotions feel so internally important, but they are actually impacted by so much more than my personal experience. Our society manipulates our emotions and exploits us through them. https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/this-is-america/202603/how-social-cultural-and-political-structures-influence-our-feelingshttps://medium.com/@v_bhagya/the-politics-of-feeling-how-emotions-move-shape-and-control-us-51e5627a7e1fhttps://brianneradke.wordpress.com/2016/10/05/ahmed-sara-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion-introduction-feel-your-way/Support the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1870 || when our emotions aren't ours
11:25|Our emotional states are heavily influenced by the stories we hear, but we tend to forget the narrative and only remember the "feelings". This means we can be influenced by stories that are completely made up. So, we can easily adopt feelings that aren't rooted in reality, but feel so real to us (the feeler), that we start to believe these feelings are facts. Emotions are movable. They connect us to "this and that". They move us, connect us, attach us, and transform us. We have the feelings, but erase the history of the feeling so that the feeling feels natural, and the story becomes irrelevant. This is how people can become emotionally attached to their own subordination. Norms appear through the concealment of repetition.https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://pratiquesdhospitalite.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/245435211-sara-ahmed-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion.pdfhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cultural_Politics_of_EmotionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1869 || emotions are stories that impact our behaviors
12:08|We should be paying attention to what emotions DO rather than what they ARE.We assign emotional values to things because of the way we're taught in our culture. Our emotions orient us towards or away from certain bodies. It allows us to justify biases against entire groups of people because it becomes the cultural norm.Unfortunately, there are very bad people who take advantage of this cultural shaping through emotions. They weaponize hatred by co-opting language and making themselves the victims so that we can't help the TRUE victims.https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://pratiquesdhospitalite.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/245435211-sara-ahmed-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion.pdfhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cultural_Politics_of_EmotionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1868 || the emotion economy
11:45|Emotions circulate and accumulate value across our society through repetition. We must pay attention to what these emotions DO rather than what they ARE. We assign emotional values to things because of the way we're taught in our culture. Our emotions orient us towards or away from certain bodies. It allows us to justify biases against entire groups of people because it becomes the cultural norm.Unfortunately, there are very bad people who take advantage of this cultural shaping through emotions. They weaponize hatred by co-opting language and making themselves the victims so that we can't help the TRUE victims. https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.3366/j.ctt1g09x4qhttps://pratiquesdhospitalite.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/245435211-sara-ahmed-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion.pdfhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cultural_Politics_of_EmotionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1867 || empathy isn't a sin
09:23|Love should not be harsh or tough. Empathy isn't a sin. It's a crucial aspect to our humanity. If you hear that empathy is a sin, that's a way to avoid the cognitive dissonance necessary to act out of alignment with your morals. Empathy is a central feature in our humanity. You can become more objective and reasonable about your empathy, without abandoning it completely. If your conscience is screaming that something isn't right, listen. Sure, we can be blinded by our subjective relationship to empathy, but we shouldn't be demonizing empathy itself. Anything that encourages you to ignore human suffering is propaganda. https://www.splcenter.org/resources/hatewatch/hard-right-influencers/www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/09/maga-right-christianity-empathy-toxic/688755/Support the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1866 || compassionate empathy
10:55|We must incorporate moral reasoning, altruism, and compassion into our empathy. Otherwise, we may end up blinded by biases we can't even see. THE SOURCES: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Against_Empathyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CompassionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.