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Make Your Damn Bed
Day 384 || relative comparison baseline V
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if people who are raw and “UGLY” or messy or open or authentic online, and that is off-putting to you - check in on why - is the reason valid or is the hesitation because you’re so used to seeing perfectionism and unrealistic expectations in your feed?
I know people very personally who share very misleading versions of their lives online which genuinely makes me jealous even though I see them and know the reality behind it doesn’t actually make me feel that way. It almost doest matter that we know its fake. It’s like the cousin with the box analogy I used yesterday - If I didn’t know the flashy toy existed I wouldn’t care but damn my box looks like shit all of a sudden even though this box has been my favorite box in all the land for a very long time.
We all have our shiny toy/box metaphor. It may be bodies that don’t look like yours - which for me - following fitness influencers and half naked confident humans with atypical bodies has changed my take on what is genuinely beautiful and I have always been a very inclusive lover but damn sexiness changes when you see it in various forms. Plus it’s helped me know the power my curves hold - which is an episode for. Different day.
But maybe following fitness influencers that are both similar and different than you can show you bodies like yours and smaller and larger than yours can do hard things and so can yours if you start small but show up consistently.
Also - this is no shame to anyone who enjoys filters or photoshop - it’s just saying - as soon as we recognize how inauthentic the things we’re comparing our lives to are - the better we are at setting our own standards and expectations for ourselves in a way that promotes long term happiness and sustainable success.
If social media isn’t motivating you - change your feed to be more motivating. And I know I’ve said this a million times - but this time I’ve backed it with science and substantial reasoning so ha!
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1873 || expressive emotions vs. suppression
11:40|How we display our emotions vary based on where we were born. There are consequences to our cultural influences. https://pressbooks.bccampus.ca/discoverpsychology2/chapter/culture-and-emotion/https://nobaproject.com/modules/culture-and-emotionhttps://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/this-is-america/202603/how-social-cultural-and-political-structures-influence-our-feelingsSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1872 || socialized emotion
10:41|The expression of our emotions, the value we put on them, and how we're affected by them is dependent on how we're socialized. The importance we put on certain emotions varies across cultures. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/201803/how-culture-shapes-emotionshttps://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/this-is-america/202603/how-social-cultural-and-political-structures-influence-our-feelingsSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1871 || emotions are manufactured
08:55|Emotions feel so internally important, but they are actually impacted by so much more than my personal experience. Our society manipulates our emotions and exploits us through them. https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/this-is-america/202603/how-social-cultural-and-political-structures-influence-our-feelingshttps://medium.com/@v_bhagya/the-politics-of-feeling-how-emotions-move-shape-and-control-us-51e5627a7e1fhttps://brianneradke.wordpress.com/2016/10/05/ahmed-sara-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion-introduction-feel-your-way/Support the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1870 || when our emotions aren't ours
11:25|Our emotional states are heavily influenced by the stories we hear, but we tend to forget the narrative and only remember the "feelings". This means we can be influenced by stories that are completely made up. So, we can easily adopt feelings that aren't rooted in reality, but feel so real to us (the feeler), that we start to believe these feelings are facts. Emotions are movable. They connect us to "this and that". They move us, connect us, attach us, and transform us. We have the feelings, but erase the history of the feeling so that the feeling feels natural, and the story becomes irrelevant. This is how people can become emotionally attached to their own subordination. Norms appear through the concealment of repetition.https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://pratiquesdhospitalite.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/245435211-sara-ahmed-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion.pdfhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cultural_Politics_of_EmotionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1869 || emotions are stories that impact our behaviors
12:08|We should be paying attention to what emotions DO rather than what they ARE.We assign emotional values to things because of the way we're taught in our culture. Our emotions orient us towards or away from certain bodies. It allows us to justify biases against entire groups of people because it becomes the cultural norm.Unfortunately, there are very bad people who take advantage of this cultural shaping through emotions. They weaponize hatred by co-opting language and making themselves the victims so that we can't help the TRUE victims.https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://pratiquesdhospitalite.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/245435211-sara-ahmed-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion.pdfhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cultural_Politics_of_EmotionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1868 || the emotion economy
11:45|Emotions circulate and accumulate value across our society through repetition. We must pay attention to what these emotions DO rather than what they ARE. We assign emotional values to things because of the way we're taught in our culture. Our emotions orient us towards or away from certain bodies. It allows us to justify biases against entire groups of people because it becomes the cultural norm.Unfortunately, there are very bad people who take advantage of this cultural shaping through emotions. They weaponize hatred by co-opting language and making themselves the victims so that we can't help the TRUE victims. https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.3366/j.ctt1g09x4qhttps://pratiquesdhospitalite.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/245435211-sara-ahmed-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion.pdfhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cultural_Politics_of_EmotionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1867 || empathy isn't a sin
09:23|Love should not be harsh or tough. Empathy isn't a sin. It's a crucial aspect to our humanity. If you hear that empathy is a sin, that's a way to avoid the cognitive dissonance necessary to act out of alignment with your morals. Empathy is a central feature in our humanity. You can become more objective and reasonable about your empathy, without abandoning it completely. If your conscience is screaming that something isn't right, listen. Sure, we can be blinded by our subjective relationship to empathy, but we shouldn't be demonizing empathy itself. Anything that encourages you to ignore human suffering is propaganda. https://www.splcenter.org/resources/hatewatch/hard-right-influencers/www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/09/maga-right-christianity-empathy-toxic/688755/Support the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1866 || compassionate empathy
10:55|We must incorporate moral reasoning, altruism, and compassion into our empathy. Otherwise, we may end up blinded by biases we can't even see. THE SOURCES: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Against_Empathyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CompassionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1865 || the empathy trap
09:57|Too much empathy is not always a good thing. Human empathy is highly selective, which means it's not always "fair" or objective. Fortunately, there are ways to be empathetic, more fairly. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-problem-with/202605/the-problem-with-empathyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Against_Empathyhttps://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200930-can-empathy-be-bad-for-youSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.