Make Your Damn Bed

Lasting motivation requires three conditions:A sense of competenceA sense of relatednessA sense of autonomy or the felt experience that your actions are genuinely your ownBut there is a difference between consultative decision-making and approval-dependent motivation. In the first, you gather input and then decide, with the locus of commitment sitting inside you. In the second, the decision itself waits to be made by someone else’s reaction, and so does your energy.FIX IT WITH: Values clarification Tiny actions that align with those values THE SOURCE: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202607/1-habit-that-kills-motivation-for-most-adultsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Don't resist tough emotions, but don't live there. Provide yourself with more time for REST. Don't stress about productivity at this time. Set FIRM boundaries. Allow space and deal with the withdrawal symptoms. Clear + reset your space. Reflect for future you. Reflect on underlying needs that your choices are compensating for. Show yourself the care + empathy you're saving for your ex. Don't take shit so personally. Allow different timelines + perceptions of the situation to exist. Believe this is all working out for your highest good. Even the painful bits. Focus on controlling YOUR timeline, not theirs.You are worthy of the most amazing, real love. Don’t ever settle for less. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

We're trees, not billboards. Understand what YOUR seasons look and feel like, so you can recognize what season you're in and not try to push yourself to a different one, too early. Deante Kyle's Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@deante.kyle/video/7664265185548324126Richard Siken's quote. Psychology Today Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/flourish-and-thrive/202602/how-can-patience-help-you-deal-with-lifes-frustrationsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

It is really fucking hard to change your habits and your actions while believing everything you currently believe about yourself. It’s more effective in the long run to shift your ideas about your identity first, and allow the actions that align with that identity to support this identity shift. To live “like” the person you want to be, you first have to recognize your capability to do so. If I want to complete a marathon, I have to become the type of person that prioritizes running. If I want to learn to swim, I have to be someone who is willing to put on a bathing suit and get in the water. I can’t keep thinking of myself as some ineffective, incompetent failure if I don’t want to feel like an ineffective, incompetent failure. I have to start thinking of myself as capable, and competent, and effective; and I really have to do my best to believe it.   The more I am able to align myself with that identity, the easier it is to show up and do the things other people who identify the same way do. It’s easier to think of these new behaviors as a lifestyle choice. Not a habit you’re trying to do more of. If I say, I’m trying to eat less meat, it is less convincing to myself than when I say, I’m no longer eating meat. Or even more so, if I can call myself a vegetarian. When I leaned fully into the vegetarian identity, it was easier for me to know what choices did and didn’t fit with that. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

It takes time to get comfortable in unfamiliar frequencies, but once you do, you may find yourself more comfortable than you imagined you could be.Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.Core questions to ask yourself:What's going on? What are you trying to address? is there something specific you'd like to accomplish? or integrate more or less of into your life? Is there anything you know you need to change but have been resisting or avoiding? What is a recurring (core) issue that pops up in your life?What does my current daily life look like? If it's inconsistent or your daily routine varies from time to time, outline a few "typical" days. Set alarms for every 15-60 minutes to check ins to see where your time is actually goes.What brings you happiness or makes you feel alive or connected to humanity? Brain dump. Include minor things.BRAIN DUMP:Skills (you have currently): What am I good at?Resources (you have currently): What are some of the good things in my life?Problems (you have currently): What are the not so good things in my life?Can any of the resources or skills you currently posses help you solve or cope with the problems?What would you say to a loved one with the same problem?How would an optimist approach this situation?Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.How to (convince yourself to) get anything you want:Identify your goal. (ideally experience based)Identify your current state: values, feelings you'd like to cultivate more of, current habits, current questions.Identify actions that would point you in the direction you'd like to move towards.Consider YOUR pitfalls + interests to make it impossible to not do. Get comfortable with friction and reduce it when possible.Curate your life around the most optimistic outcome working out perfectly.Give yourself enough time to properly adjust to a new version of "comfortable". Build tolerance for patience and change.Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

How to (convince yourself to) get anything you wantPREVIEW:Identify your goal. (ideally experience based)Identify your current state: values, feelings you'd like to cultivate more of, current habits, current questions.Identify actions that would point you in the direction you'd like to move towards.Consider YOUR pitfalls + interests to make it impossible to not do. Get comfortable with friction and reduce it when possible.Curate your life around the most optimistic outcome working out perfectly.Give yourself enough time to properly adjust to a new version of "comfortable". Build tolerance for patience and change.Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

If it’s not a matter of my physical location, or my circumstances, it comes down to it being a matter of direction. “Simply beginning” is a great sentiment, and an effective practice when possible, but in my case, it’s often better in theory. Most days I don’t know where to begin, let alone how. So, when that happens I try to follow my curiosity. I let tiny cravings speak more loudly if they feel worth pursuing. It doesn’t have to be productive or sufficient or even important. It just has to be interesting enough to convince me to start. To stop scrolling and do literally anything else. There’s no right or wrong method here that works all the time, there are just techniques that can sometimes break the cycle of consternation that often comes from a lack of direction and access to the internet. Quoting Bourdain again here, “Maybe that’s enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom...is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go.”So, instead of looking for clarity, I will continue to experiment with the options I can think of until one of them works this time, and next time I’ll try again and again until I find what works for that version of myselfRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.