Make Your Damn Bed

Finding your purpose in life is like finding your favorite food at a brand new "all you can eat" buffet. You arrive hungry and excited, and everything looks pretty delicious. You try to fit a little bit of everything on your plate. You try tiny nibbles and some disappoint. Others surprise. Others are what you expect. And when it’s time to go back up and try new things you know a littttle more and lose a lil initial excitement so you grab a lil of the things you missed the first time and so on. You keep tasting and trying. And you get pickier as you go. Recognize what isn’t salted enough for you. What isn’t spicy enough. What’s too spicy. You get more of what works and less of what doesn’t. Until eventually you get a full plate of all the things you love. When you eventually get hungry again and return to the buffet line? You’ll know. But you can’t be mad you didn’t know on your first plate. Sure, you technically "wasted" room on the plate that could’ve been more mashed potato or whatever but you didn’t know you liked the potato that much and if you started with a big plate of mash you’d be so jealous everyone else took a bite of something you hadn’t tried yet. Now you know. So when you go and get the cake you know you love the most, and return to the table to find your mom loving her portion of the cobbler, you’ve already tried it yourself. You don’t resent her for having cobbler you recognize you can get up at any time and get some. But right now you chose cake. And you know, you can always change it up for yourself in the future. The buffet of life is abundant. Don't get caught up in counting calories. Don't get caught up worrying about making the best choice. Don't get caught up optimizing your perfect meal. Instead, try things. Get curious... and then get picky.Never forget: you have so many options. Try Huel with 15% OFF for New Customers today using code MYDB at https://huel.com/mydb. SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

"If we focus [too much] on ourselves and how we feel, then we are limiting our experiences by definition." Victoria Spratt wrote, in her article: "You’re Thinking About Yourself Too Much"Try Huel with 15% OFF for New Customers today using code MYDB at https://huel.com/mydb. SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

"I think about myself a lot, and not in a good way. I find myself obsessing over past mistakes, cringey moments, etc. and end up feeling guilty and panicked. Eventually I end up concluding that I'm a terrible person who deserves to be feeling this way." Here is the Original Post on the Meditation Reddit: Read the Substack from Soft Perception who said: "the self is not optional. it is yours to inhabit, not theirs to consume. and it will begin to show up when the hand of obligation loosens, when attention turns inward.the floor may feel far below, but every step you take, every boundary you establish, every small act of attention or creation, lays the ground you were never given."SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Understanding your identity is honestly, none of your business. Don't attach yourself to an identity, because identity, is inherently limiting to it's understood definition. Some of us are trying to fit in where we don't belong, and we wonder why we're uncomfortable. Watch the full aurora quote: " It’s easy to feel safe in yourself when you stop analyzing yourself. And let go of the fact that people may be analyzing you. And let go go the control that we feel like we need to have another’s impression of us, it doesn’t matter. Be open, live freely."Read the Substack from Soft Perception who said: "the self is not optional. it is yours to inhabit, not theirs to consume. and it will begin to show up when the hand of obligation loosens, when attention turns inward.the floor may feel far below, but every step you take, every boundary you establish, every small act of attention or creation, lays the ground you were never given."Try Huel with 15% OFF for New Customers today using code MYDB at https://huel.com/mydb. SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Some of us don’t engage with the rest of the world anymore not because the rest of the world sucks any more than it always has - but because you have built an intolerance for the world where you are not the dictator. As Siece Campbell put it, “your algorithm worships you. You are the only one who lives inside this tiny box, let’s say you’re spending 7+ hours on your phone every day, well those are hours that we used to spend in a reality in a world that didn’t revolve around you.”We should all be worried about the rise of selfishness as a society because of an increase in addiction to convenience, isolation, comfort, and personal pleasure. She basically posits that we’re becoming so insulated from society that we’re becoming intolerant of the things that can actually bring us long term pleasure. SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

The brain’s main goal is to protect us, so when we ask it to do anything new (particularly if you are neurodivergent) it signals to the brain that there may be danger lurking - so it refuses to do it, because it believes that is what keeps us safe. Many brains looks at all new tasks like a hot stove. So how do we manage this? According to kdimerc we can:Remove all unnecessary stoves. Look at the task objectively and ask yourself, “is this task really necessary or important?” If it’s not - take it off the burner completely, for now. Turn off the stove, if you are able to! This will be different for everyone, but it’s typically the things I suggest on this podcast to help you get motivated. Things like body doubling, brain hacks, pairing actions with other triggers, like this podcast, or songs, therapy and medication may help to turn off, or at least, turn down the heat on these stoves. Get really good at touching hot stoves. Like we have been discussing recently on the podcast, building your tolerance for distress is seemingly less and less optional at this point. But unfortunately there will be times where you can’t ignore a task, and you can’t make it less daunting, so you just have to power through the dread and do it anyway. While you may not be able to control your motivation to do a daunting task, you can control your mindset around it. You can come to accept the dread as part of the process. Watch Kdimerc’s video on the "Hot Stove Conundrum" Read Beautiful Chaos’ blog post on "ADHD + The Hot Stovetop" Try Huel with 15% OFF for New Customers today using code MYDB at https://huel.com/mydb. SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Our brain’s main goal is to protect us, so when we ask it to do anything new (particularly if you are neurodivergent) it signals to the brain that there may be danger lurking - so it refuses to do it, because it believes that is what keeps us safe. Many brains looks at all new tasks like a hot stove. So how do we manage this? According to kdimerc we can: Remove all unnecessary stoves. Look at the task objectively and ask yourself, “is this task really necessary or important?” If it’s not - take it off the burner completely, for now. Turn off the stove, if you are able to! This will be different for everyone, but it’s typically the things I suggest on this podcast to help you get motivated. Things like body doubling, brain hacks, pairing actions with other triggers, like this podcast, or songs, therapy and medication may help to turn off, or at least, turn down the heat on these stoves. Get really good at touching hot stoves. Like we have been discussing recently on the podcast, building your tolerance for distress is seemingly less and less optional at this point. But unfortunately there will be times where you can’t ignore a task, and you can’t make it less daunting, so you just have to power through the dread and do it anyway. While you may not be able to control your motivation to do a daunting task, you can control your mindset around it. You can come to accept the dread as part of the process. Watch Kdimerc’s video on the "Hot Stove Conundrum" Read Beautiful Chaos’ blog post on "ADHD + The Hot Stovetop" Try Huel with 15% OFF for New Customers today using code MYDB at https://huel.com/mydb. SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

How do we hold space for two contradictory ideas? How do we hold space for the reality that things won't always make sense? We can't control everything, but we can build up our "tolerance for distress", which can lead us to wanting to control the stuff we can't, less. The source: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/cost-benefit-analysis/SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

"Living systems theory has been so helpful to me. I think there is a drive within living systems to complexify, to wake up—there is an evolutionary movement. I speak out of the love and excitement generated by my little work, which many people are doing with me. It does require being able to experience pain. It does require tears and outrage. It does require positive disintegration. Our whole culture needs positive disintegration. It has to die to itself. So my Christian upbringing is relevant there: Good Friday and Easter, the necessity for death and rebirth. We are going to die as a culture, and it’s better for us to do it consciously, so we don’t inflict it on everyone else." - Joanna Macy The main source: https://www.activehope.info/Read the interview with Joanna Macy. Read the first few chapters of the book ACTIVE HOPE. Read Faron Sage's Article.Read more from Joanna Macy.SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.