Make Your Damn Bed

Researchers find that people regularly fail to realize how charitable, trustworthy, and compassionate others are. Helpers are all around; we just don’t see them. Some of these mistakes reflect how our minds are tuned. Negativity bias means people pay more attention to bad things than good. Again, thismakes evolutionary sense: It’s safe to ignore a sunset, but not a tsunami. As psychologist Fred Bryant says, “Troubles kick our door in and come and find us… whereas the pleasures and the joys, they don’t hunt us down and force us to enjoy them. They wait and they sometimes hide.” - Jamil ZakiRESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_hope_when_youre_feeling_cynicalhttps://www.theguardian.com/books/article/2024/aug/23/hope-for-cynics-by-jamil-zaki-review-beating-the-trust-recessionhttps://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/in-hope-for-cynics-researcher-explores-how-seeing-the-good-in-others-is-good-for-youTHE BOOK: https://www.jamil-zaki.com/hope-for-cynicsDONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

"Cynics often get people wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s smart to put faith in everyone, all the time. Skeptics update their beliefs based hundreds of children, and then checked in with them a year later. When it came to depression and friendships, cynical children ended up the worst off, but extremely trusting kids did less well than those in the middle.Why? When judging humanity, both cynics and trusters behave like lawyers in humanity’s trial. Trusters represent the defense. They disregard suspicious signs, forget betrayals, and hold on to any evidence of human goodness. Cynics work for the prosecution, explaining away kindness and cataloging every instance of human viciousness. Both attorneys are inclined to ignore half of the evidence, even if they’re opposite halves.Lawyering is a fine way to argue, but a terrible way to learn. A growing science finds that real wisdom arrives when people know what they don’t know. Likewise, social wisdom doesn’t mean believing in everyone or no one. It means believing in evidence—by thinking less like a lawyer and more like a scientist. And despite the different instruments they use, all sorts of scientists share an intellectual tool:skepticism, the questioning of old wisdom and hunger for more information. Skeptics update their beliefs based on new information, allowing them to adjust to a complex world" - Jamil ZakiRESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_hope_when_youre_feeling_cynicalhttps://www.theguardian.com/books/article/2024/aug/23/hope-for-cynics-by-jamil-zaki-review-beating-the-trust-recessionhttps://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/in-hope-for-cynics-researcher-explores-how-seeing-the-good-in-others-is-good-for-youTHE BOOK: https://www.jamil-zaki.com/hope-for-cynicsDONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

"Cynicism is the theory that people are selfish, greedy, and dishonest. Like any theory, it changes how we see reality and react to it—in this case, the social world. Cynicism changes how we think, what we do, and what we don’t do." - Jamil ZakiRESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_hope_when_youre_feeling_cynicalhttps://www.theguardian.com/books/article/2024/aug/23/hope-for-cynics-by-jamil-zaki-review-beating-the-trust-recessionhttps://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/in-hope-for-cynics-researcher-explores-how-seeing-the-good-in-others-is-good-for-youTHE BOOK: https://www.jamil-zaki.com/hope-for-cynicsDONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

"Cynicism is an understandable response to injustice and inequality. But in many cases, it is misplaced. Dozens of studies find that people fail to realize how kind, generous, and open-minded others really are. And cynical thinking worsens social problems: when we expect the worst in people, we often bring it out of them." - Jamil Zaki RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_hope_when_youre_feeling_cynicalhttps://www.theguardian.com/books/article/2024/aug/23/hope-for-cynics-by-jamil-zaki-review-beating-the-trust-recessionhttps://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/in-hope-for-cynics-researcher-explores-how-seeing-the-good-in-others-is-good-for-youTHE BOOK: https://www.jamil-zaki.com/hope-for-cynicsDONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Today, we're reading the first few tips from "Eight Habits of Effective Bridge-Builders" and discussing what it means to build these habits.RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_habits_of_effective_bridge_buildersDONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Today, we're reading the first few tips from "Eight Habits of Effective Bridge-Builders" and discussing what it means to build these habits. RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_habits_of_effective_bridge_buildersDONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Four Steps to Help People Feel Listened To:H = Hedge your claims, even when you feel very certain about your beliefs. It signals a recognition that there are some cases or some people who might support your opponent’s perspective.E = Emphasize agreement. Find some common ground even when you disagree on a particular topic. This does not mean compromising or changing your mind, but rather recognizing that most people in the world can find some broad ideas or values to agree on.A = Acknowledge the opposing perspective. Rather than jumping in to your own argument, devote a few seconds to restating the other person’s position to demonstrate that you did indeed hear and understand it.R = Reframing to the positive. Avoid negative and contradictory words, such as “no,” “won’t” or “do not.” At the same time, increase your use of positive words to change the tone of the conversation.RESOURCE: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_steps_to_help_people_feel_listened_to AND: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-copes-with-grief/ DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Grief isn’t linear. Grief doesn't happen in stages. Grief is chaotic. Grief convinces you that it’s all encompassing. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve (aside from the obvious). Be gentle with yourself. I’m not asking you to pretend it doesn't exist, but I am asking you to endure it. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be different, but it will be okay. If you want to feel more connected: The Shared Grief Project - https://sharedgrief.org/ Articles, blogs, community re, resources, etc. https://whatsyourgrief.com/Additional resources: https://alicaforneret.co/ DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss, and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today I share some science from Mary Frances O'Connor.The Shared Grief Project: https://sharedgrief.org/Mary Frances O'Connor's Site: https://maryfrancesoconnor.org/Today's resources: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6844541/ Today's secondary resources: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-copes-with-grief/ DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.