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cover art for 1227 || how to make friends (if you're awkward)

Make Your Damn Bed

1227 || how to make friends (if you're awkward)

Making friends as an adult can feel overcomplicated, but I think it's because we've become increasingly self-aware of our weaknesses and not nearly self-aware enough of our strengths. Maybe it's time to practice what we already know: staying present, active listening, and mutual respect - so we can really build some relationships worth of maintenance.


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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.



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  • 1254 || dealing with decision fatigue

    09:03|
    In 1998, Psychologist Roy Baumeister conducted a foundational study that showed decision-making depletes cognitive resources, much like physical exertion depletes muscles. Baumeister’s studies found that decision fatigue leads to impulsive choices (gravitating toward immediate rewards or default options) or avoidance of decision-making (procrastination or refusal to choose).For example, judges in a 2011 study were more likely to grant parole early in the day, and less likely as they became mentally fatigued, demonstrating how mental depletion affects critical decision-making.So, preplan what you can. Limit excess decision making. Account for much needed rest + recovery. Rely on default decisions where applicable. Know + respect your limits. Practice mindfulness + compassion. Be patient. Remember you're human. DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES:https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilitiesDISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rjcavl.org/mutual-aid-resources/MORE ASHEVILLE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/avlsurvivalTHE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1253 || regret from a life not lived

    10:30|
    Years ago, when I was grieving the loss of a very serious break up, I was explaining to a friend that the grief was really intense not only because I was grieving a loss of this, but I was also grieving the loss of who I was going to be with that person, and I think about this a lot, the anxiety of all of the un lived lives. I’ll never get the unknown of all of the paths I didn’t and couldn’t take.TIPS: Practice radical acceptance: Accept that you can't live every life. For every door you open, another closes.Get present: Ground yourself in the life you're living right now. Try mindfulness exercises to bring you back to the present moment.Embrace "good enough": Aim for a life that's good enough, not perfect.Reframe your past: View your past choices as steps in your unique journey, rather than as failures.Live authentically: Make decisions based on your values—not societal expectations.DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES:https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilitiesDISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rjcavl.org/mutual-aid-resources/MORE ASHEVILLE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/avlsurvivalTHE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1252 || escaping survival mode (revisited)

    06:33|
    Today we revisit an episode from March 2023: what does survival mode look like for you? how can we get out of the patterns that put us into our default mode? we've all experienced stress, but when stress is prolonged - we can forget how to relax. Mindfulness, patience, compassion, and practice can help us escape that constant vigilance and return to a state of calm. DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES:https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilitiesDISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rjcavl.org/mutual-aid-resources/MORE ASHEVILLE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/avlsurvivalTHE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1251 || we're all traumatized (revisited)

    07:34|
    Today we revisit an episode from March 2023: Every single one of us has experienced some level of trauma. We're only capable of acting and responding at the level we're internally ready for. Practicing mercy + empathy can really help us to be more patient with strangers. DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES:https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilitiesDISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rjcavl.org/mutual-aid-resources/MORE ASHEVILLE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/avlsurvivalTHE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1250 || burning out + tapping out

    10:21|
    Life sometimes feels like a constant battle between fighting burnout and fighting tapping out. The middle path between burnout and disassociation isn’t about perfection. It’s about giving yourself permission to rest without checking out, and working without burning out. It’s not an easy balance, but it’s one worth striving for. Some days will be meant for rotting, some days will be meant for grinding - but most days will be about striking a healthy balance between the two. DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES:https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilitiesDISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rjcavl.org/mutual-aid-resources/MORE ASHEVILLE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/avlsurvivalTHE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1248 || fighting dread + doom + gloom

    10:28|
    Feeling like you can’t do everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something.So, when things feel heavy, when the weight of the world feels like it’s sitting on your chest, I want you to take a breath and remember that no act of kindness, no matter how small, is wasted.DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES: https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilitiesDISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rjcavl.org/mutual-aid-resources/MORE ASHEVILLE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/avlsurvivalTHE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1245 || anti-ideological activism

    10:26|
    " In effect we are saying the end is not as important as the means, we are turning hundreds of years of political form and content on its head by putting the means before the ends, by putting context in front of ideology, by rejecting purity and perfection." - Rebecca SolnitBUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1244 || hope in the dark

    10:22|
    "What could have happened if we could have spoken directly to the people in that wave, if we could have found common ground, if we could have made our position neither right nor left but truly grassroots? What would have happened if we had given them an alternate version of how local power was being sapped, by whom, and what they might do about it? We need them, we need a broad base, we need a style that speaks to far more people than the left has lately been able to speak to and for." - Rebecca SolnitBUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1243 || victory is the journey

    09:31|
    "Paradise is not the place in which you arrive but the journey toward it. Sometimes I think victories must be temporary or incomplete; what kind of humanity would survive paradise? The United States has tried to approximate paradise in its suburbias, with luxe, calme, volupte, culde-sacs, cable television and two-car garages, and it has produced a soft ennui that shades over into despair and a decay of the soul suggesting that Paradise is already a gulag. Countless desperate teenagers will tell you so. For paradise does not require of us courage, selflessness, creativity, passion: paradise in all accounts is passive, is sedative, and if you read carefully, soulless." - Rebecca SolnitBUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.