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Make Your Damn Bed
1224 || debating hacks (how to diffuse an argument)
Reasoning with the unreasonable can feel impossible, but here are some techniques to diffuse intense arguments and encourage others to challenge their own cognitive dissonance with curiosity and care.
For starters, it's important to find common values to come back to, use metaphors and anecdotes to break down complex ideas and humanize them, remember it's you vs. the problem (not you vs. them), and remember that you're attempting to better understand each other - rather than change each other.
RESOURCE 1: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-you-strongly-disagree-with-someone-how-to-find-common-ground/
RESOURCE 2: https://www.betterup.com/blog/finding-common-ground-with-anyone-a-quick-and-easy-guide
YOUTUBE VID BONUS: REASONING WITH UNREASONABLE PEOPLE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFWF_VnlFAg
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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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1314 || inner voice check (re-release)
06:18|(this is a re-release) If your inner voice manifested into a human form today, would you be friends with it? I think a lot of us would have to teach our new friend some manners before going into the real world. Which is wild to think about - that the most common voice, our most reliable narrator, our internal operator is kind of an asshole? Is really sad to me. If the voice we live with, and listen to the most, is not nice? What does that mean?Negative self talk quickly trains your brain to believe that the criticisms of it are true. This is why it’s so crucial to train your brain that the good shit can be true, instead. If you cuss yourself out every time you drop something, or call yourself names when you make mistakes, I highly recommend this tactic: EVERY time you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative about yourself (or someone else) you MUST say OUT LOUD two unique positive things to counteract that thought. And take a second to absorb it and try to believe it. Train your brain that there are alternate ways of thinking and believing and perceiving. I fully recognize that reframing isn’t a miracle cure for everyone and everything, but this one, with enough practice and redirection - does work. And the less we complain, the less we see the world as a thing to complain about, and find a lot of the shit we were complaining about was not that big of a deal to begin with. Notice it. Then replace it with more positive thoughts. Then reward yourself with a lil hell yeah. And if this sounds hokey and too much for a simple thought - the magic of the practice is because it IS too much, it doesn’t reallllly take that long to stick in theory. Think about it, nobody is gonna wanna self correct and think of new original and unique compliments all day, especially if we struggle with positive self talk, so it’s a real solid rebuttal strategy! The brain is a giant computer. Computer needs updates + reprogramming occasionally. We should be keeping up with this shit anyway. We need to “sleep and shut down” to keep the battery healthy. But this is a great way to do so. GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1313 || perfectionism is the enemy
08:42|"Perfectionism is just control dressed up in a different costume." - Seth Hughes"Perfection is just another attempt to tidy up a scruffy universe. You see what this world needs is humanity. Being rough around the edges. ANd a beautiful sustainable restorative and regenerative human culture understands how to balance poles not tries to make one ond of the polarity beat the other." - Seth Hughes Seth Hughes Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@_sethhughes/video/7449752069940055329Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/art/tgoi-perfectionism/Elizabeth Gilbert: https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/books/big-magic/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1312 || so many possibilities so little time
09:58|You can pivot whenever you need to. Maybe you’ve been on a path that felt right for a while, but now it doesn’t. That’s okay. We outgrow shit. Goals that used to fire us up can start to feel like obligations, and that’s not failure, it’s growth. There’s no rule that says you have to stay the same person you were 5 minutes ago, let alone 5 years ago. You’re allowed to change. To take breaks. To dream new dreams. To pause. To explore. To try new things and risk falling flat on your face because, honestly!?!? That’s where the most growth happens.When you embrace the idea that life is full of paths, you stop being afraid of getting it “wrong.” You realize that every path you take, no matter how rocky or unplanned, is leading you somewhere.DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1311 || digging holes (a re-release)
06:21|This is a re-release. DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1310 || food is my passion (so why do I struggle with it?)
07:30|The real thing I enjoy about cooking and working out - is when the effort is the least interesting part about it. I hate treadmills, but give me a cocktail and a disney pass, I’m walking MILES without a second thought. I hate arm day but I LOVE rowing a boat into the middle of a water feature and snacking with a pal. I hate cycle classes but will bike for hours in a pretty neighborhood. And the same goes for cooking. I wasn’t enjoying cooking for myself because I wasn’t really looking for the joy of it. And listen, most nights - there is no joy to be found in cooking - because I’m tired and burnt out and already hangry. But! When I do have the space/time to cook and make a thing and really lean into the “art” of it? I have the best time, and make the best results, and feel great about it. I still use my pre-made/half made meals regularly, but I also don’t like stress myself out over having to make something from scratch when I do. I get in my head sometimes so bad that everything seems intimidating, especially feeding myself and my partner - but when I stop overthinking shit and just make do with what we have on hand, like an episode of chopped, it becomes an almost meditative experience. Intention really is everything. If I hate the idea of cooking, The Chef soundtrack can put me right back into it. Bourdain said “If you dont want to take teh time to peel garlic, then you don’t deserve to eat fresh garlic.” and he’s harsher than I am, and maybe he meant to be - but I interpreted that as - we all deserve the fresh garlic, and we deserve to take the time to peel that garlic. CLAIRE SAFFITZ makes drumsticks: https://youtu.be/Qd0TQeVQ2Z0?si=w1QkTI24xAu74J-nDONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1309 || always go to the funeral
08:05|"In my humdrum life, the daily battle hasn't been good versus evil. It's hardly so epic. Most days, my real battle is doing good versus doing nothing." - Dierdre Sullivan"It's so rare. It's so rare that somebody'd look out for you. Thoughts and Prayers are all they'd do." - Gigi PerezThe Diedre Sullivan piece: https://www.npr.org/2005/08/08/4785079/always-go-to-the-funeralGigi Perez's "Fable + Truth": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spwcEiZtAlQDONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1308 || to quit or not to quit
08:48|One way to know if it's time to quit is to ask: "If I weren’t already invested in this, would I choose it today?" The key to quitting "well" is: Honesty —with yourself and others. Own your decision.Having an exit plan. Quitting isn't ghosting. Whether it’s a job, hobby, or a relationship, think about how you can leave things respectfully. Tie up loose ends/make the transition as smooth as possible.Focusing on what’s next. Quitting is just the beginning. It’s not about running away—it’s about moving toward something better. Channel that energy into building what’s next for you.DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1307 || rules for radicals
09:12|RULES FOR RADICALS: "Power is not only what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.""Never go outside the experience of your people.""Whenever possible go outside of the experience of the enemy.""Make the enemy live up to its own book of rules.""Ridicule is man's most potent weapon. There is no defense. It is almost impossible to counterattack ridicule. Also it infuriates the opposition, who then react to your advantage.""A good tactic is one your people enjoy.""A tactic that drags on too long becomes a drag.""Keep the pressure on.""The threat is usually more terrifying than the thing itself.""The major premise for tactics is the development of operations that will maintain a constant pressure upon the opposition.""If you push a negative hard and deep enough it will break through into its counterside; this is based on the principle that every positive has its negative.""The price of a successful attack is a constructive alternative.""Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it."RESOURCES: https://commonslibrary.org/rules-for-radicals-by-saul-alinsky/ACCESS THE BOOK: https://archive.org/details/RulesForRadicalsSaulAlinskyOCR/mode/2upDONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1306 || buying a lifestyle
08:25|In today’s world, we're sold far more than just products. We're sold lifestyles/belief systems that tell us who we should be, how we should act, and what will make us 'successful.' Brands like Apple, Nike, Lululemon, etc. have moved beyond selling shoes or tech gadgets—they sell you the idea that buying their product makes you part of something bigger. It makes you 'better.' But here’s the catch: these beliefs don’t liberate us. They bind us. It’s a trick. A trick to make you think that changing who you are on the outside—buying a new product, following the latest trend—will change the world. It won’t. It will just keep the cycle going.THE ARTICLE: https://subpixel.space/entries/life-after-lifestyle/THE SPEECH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK3oK50AFlgTHE AUTHOR: https://tobyshorin.com/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.