Make Your Damn Bed

love is an active process that involves engagement, gratitude, and practice. RESOURCE: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2008-15454-002RESOURCE: https://www.apa.org/topics/marriage-relationships/brain-on-loveRESOURCE: https://hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/love-brainDONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

When we focus on curiosity, respect, and genuine understanding, we're more likely to bridge gaps with people we disagree with, but this takes practice. This means there is no room for contempt, defensiveness, criticism, and stonewalling, but that's easier said than done. RESOURCES: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-turning-against-your-partners-bids-is-so-harmful/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

When we open ourselves up to love, we open ourselves up to pain and loss, but the loss of the love is what we will grieve, so we shouldn't resist that vulnerability. Embracing love's impermanence will deepen our experience with it. “love is not permanently gifted, it is loaned.” - James Sexton “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi Avoiding Avoidance (Healthline Article) https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/pushing-people-away#how-to-stopJames Sexton on Diary of a CEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MGyiqVjdKIThich Nhat Hanh's Hugging Meditation: https://www.themarginalian.org/2015/05/04/thich-nhat-hanh-hugging-meditation/CS Lewis Quote: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/14816053-the-four-lovesDONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

There is a feedback loop that seems to happen whenever I’m spending more time alone. I notice that my need for connection seems to dissipate as my anger towards humanity inflates. Psychologists have noted this through various research and confirmed that “lonely individuals tend to think more negatively of others and see them as less trustworthy.”If the feeling of loneliness really worked as it should, it would prompt prosocial behaviors that fulfill our need for belonging. It’s like a craving. Our bodies are craving social connection, so we should then seek it out to rectify that craving. But unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Especially for me. Basically, when you feel lonely, you probably also feel more depressed, which means you’re not feeling like your most “you, you”. And because you feel a bit unpleasant, it can exacerbate these issues. Scientists have long studied the correlation between depression symptoms and loneliness, but there seems to be less focus on the cyclical nature of these implications. The study I’ve been referring to did its best to track the associations between these feelings of loneliness and prosocial behaviors. Apparently this means the results from this study came with two distinct findings: Loneliness often comes with:An increase in motivation to support others, but a poorer interpretation or execration of that social contact.That idea that we want + seek out connections but feel an absence of soothing and support still, is the part that tends to push us further in the cycle of loneliness and despair. I thought it was interesting though, that it wasn’t just relationships with others we tend to be more negative about, when we’re lonely. According to the study, we also tend to evaluate ourselves more negatively as well. This lower sense of self confidence means that the odds are stacked against us. We feel lonely, so we feel more insecure, AND we feel more hesitant to let others in, which causes a validation of those negative biases. THE RESOURCE: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-75712-3 DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Studies show intrinsic goals make us much happier than extrinsic ones, but society tells us to focus our time on the material stuff. Why do we think that is? RESOURCE: https://www.theatlantic.com/podcasts/archive/2021/10/howto-friendship-loneliness-arthurbrooks-vivekmurthy-happiness/620281/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

I'm on my way out the door of my apartment and it's starting to hit me just how isolated I've become. A lot of it is self inflicted: ignoring phone calls and texts, neglecting plans, or foregoing the follow up. That said, I still can't take all the credit. A majority of my feelings of isolation are systemic: it's expensive outside, I'm exhausted all the time, and I don't feel that connected to my neighbors (who don't always see eye-to-eye with me). So, let's talk about it and see if we can start a more "upward cycle" towards connectedness rather than isolation. RESOURCES: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/08/hillary-clinton-essay-loneliness-epidemic/674921/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

“Nobody can build the bridge for you to walk across the river of life, no one but you yourself alone. There are, to be sure, countless paths and bridges and demi-gods which would carry you across this river, but only at the cost of yourself; you would pawn yourself and lose. There is in the world only one way, on which nobody can go, except you: where does it lead? Do not ask, go along with it.” — NietzscheTHE RESOURCE: https://medium.com/personal-growth/5-controversial-truths-by-nietzsche-that-changed-my-life-e8eb712a52c8DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Here is a little rant about people who co-opt beautiful theories + ideas and twist them in order to justify behaviors that are actually counter to its core principles. It's infuriating, but it makes sense... Let's dig into why this happens and what we can learn from the teachings, to stop it. RESOURCES: WIKI:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism#:~:text=Stoicism%20teaches%20the%20development%20of,the%20universal%20reason%20(logos).LANUSSE ON THE PARADOX: https://rickylanusse.medium.com/the-stoic-paradox-can-we-achieve-happiness-without-enjoyment-2e5f3da5233fREDDIT WITH CRITIQUES: https://www.reddit.com/r/askphilosophy/comments/srj643/are_there_credible_criticisms_against_stoicism/GREAT ARTICLE ON THE CRITIQUES: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-three-minute-therapist/202301/a-critique-of-stoicismDONATE: www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Today is a very special BONUS episode that gives you a sneak preview of what we're doing over at patreon. this is just 10 minutes of this month's 55 minute episode and it gets JUICY.If you want to listen to the entire episode, plus the backlog, (and all the dailies ad-free!!!) join our little community on patreon and subscribe from there!The Main Resource: How I defined Cosmetic Procedures: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5300934/ The "complications" resource:https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4728899/ THE OTHERS:https://www.americanboardcosmeticsurgery.org/patient-resources/cosmetic-surgery-vs-plastic-surgery/ https://saberplasticsurgery.com/blog/risky-plastic-surgeries/ https://fashionista.com/2022/08/plastic-cosmetic-surgery-reversal-trends https://www.popsugar.com/beauty/cosmetic-surgery-reversals-49175684 https://www.clearstepsrecovery.com/addiction-recovery-blog/plastic-surgery-statistics-and-facts https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2022/07/10999857/reversible-plastic-surgery-procedures https://www.buzznet.com/2024/07/the-most-dangerous-beauty-trends-in-history/ GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.