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Make Your Damn Bed
1183 || a pep talk for the hopeless
Tides change every day, and so can you. It’s never too late to change your scenery, to change your routine, to change your vibe, or change your perspective. You have some control, and even when you feel like you’ve lost it, I promise you, it’s within your grasp when you’re ready to pick up the reigns again.
I wrote a “healing handbook” a long time ago, and never finished it, but I wrote this as the opening:
WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING YOURSELF OUT OF A FUNK - START SMALL. BE PATIENT AND REMEMBER THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH TAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF. EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY AND THE LESS WE RESIST THE HARD FEELINGS THE SOONER WE CAN GET OUT ON TOP OF THEM AGAIN. SO BREATHE. TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS - THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE BECAUSE YOU ARE IN IT. I KNOW IT MAY NOT FEEL THAT WAY RIGHT NOW BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN YOUR CORNER, + WE ARE ROOTING FOR YOU. EVEN IF YOU CAN'T SEE US. WE'RE HERE. IT’S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER, THAT AS LONG AS YOU AREN'T HURTING YOURSELF OR OTHERS, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO GRIEVE HOWEVER YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE.
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU FOR FEELING THE WAY YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW. IT'S HUMAN. YOU'RE HUMAN.+ SOMETIMES BEING HUMAN REALLY FUCKIN' SUCKS. IT’S ALSO IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THIS ISN’T PERMANENT. THE TOXIC THOUGHTS THAT HAVE BEGUN TO CREEP IN WILL EBB IN TIME WITH A LITTLE REDIRECTION. THE HOPE YOU LOST WILL BEGIN. TO RETURN + LIFE WILL LIGHTEN BACK UP AGAIN. I KNOW IT DOESN'T FEEL THAT WAY NOW, BUT RESPITE IS COMING.
GO EASY ON YOURSELF IN THE MEANTIME. THIS REALLY SUCKS. THERE’S NO WAY AROUND IT. SUFFERING REALLY DOES FUCKING SUCK... BUT WITH TIME YOU'LL BEGIN TO HEAL. SLOWLY BUT SURELY, THE MAGIC WILL REAPPEAR AND YOU WILL BE GRATEFUL FOR THE VERSION OF YOU WHO STUCK THIS HARD PART OUT. SO KEEP STICKING IT OUT. YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE. YOU DESERVE TO FLOURISH. AND JUST LIKE YOU HAVE OVERCOME ALL THE SHIT BEFORE, YOU WILL ABSOLUTELY OVERCOME THIS SHIT, TOO. IT MAY ANNOY YOU TO HEAR BUT THERE'S NO DENYING THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A RESILIENT + POWERFUL BADASS. YOU AREN'T BROKEN, YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE BREAK. IF IT SUCKS, ALLOW IT TO SUCK, PROCESS IT AS IT IS SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY MOVE THE FUCK ON WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.
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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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1674 || the guilt gap: watching tv vs. scrolling social media
11:28|Weird how I can spend two hours on Instagram reels or tiktok and not feel bad about not cleaning my house, but when I sit to watch a movie? I am riddled with guilt and shame. Slow content leaves room for thinking and autonomy. Fast-pased content led by algorithms, leave no room for independent thought or action. The Khan Academy offers free courses and today I sped through their lesson on "persuasive technology" and how we can push back against it, to reclaim what is ours.Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog.SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1673 || the internet is a funhouse mirror
11:04|The data brokers found out we can't look away from a car crash, so they made all of our available content a series of car crashes. This has convinced a lot of us that the world is simply, ALL car crashes. It's not. They're prioritizing profits + growth at the expense of the whole. "We are on a path to a technology environment where we are surrounded by powerful technology that’s competing to track, influence, and monetize us."The Khan Academy offers free courses and today I sped through their lesson on "persuasive technology" and how we can push back against it, to reclaim what is ours.Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog.SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1672 || persuasive technology
12:30|The Khan Academy offers free courses and today I sped through their lesson on "persuasive technology" and how we can push back against it, to reclaim what is ours.Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog.SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1671 || attention economy
11:35|The Khan Academy offers free courses, today I speed through their lesson on "the attention economy" and how we can push back against it, to reclaim what is ours. Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog.SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1670 || what does machiavellian actually mean?
11:26|I've been using the term "machiavellian" for years. Recently, I looked it up. Today, I'm sharing what I found. Machiavelli was a teacher of "evil". He believed virtues were a waste of time. He said successful founders and supporters of government must be violent murderers to sustain control. Fear is a more powerful motivator than fear, so he encouraged brute force and violence as a means to an end. We can combat this type of thinking by encouraging empathy, connection, and morality. Wikipedia's Page on Machiavelli. The Forbes Article on Workplace Machiavellians Quora's Responses to someone feeling more Machiavellian.Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog.SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1669 || when reality is up for debate
11:14|This isn't about disagreeing about policies or politics, anymore. We currently live in a world with a sizable minority of people are disagreeing about reality itself. We cannot allow those who disagree with reality to create a new one. What do we do when we're forced to tolerate people who support authoritarianism? How does a pluralistic democracy deal with people who threaten the existence of such a thing? We must set firm and clear boundaries against actions + movements that threaten the pluralistic democracy that keeps them safe, provide a viable off-ramp from authoritarianism and intolerance, and teach explicitly a "tolerance for ambiguity and difference". Watch Cybel Canterel's Original Video on TikTok. Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog.SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1668 || Until death, failure is psychological.
11:11|There's an Arabic saying, "لايدرك كله لا يترك كله" or "What cannot be achieved in its entirety should not be abandoned completely."Until death, failure is psychological. Little Miss Sunshine the grandpa reminds her she’s not a loser for failing, he explains that losers are the people who are too afraid to win, so they never try. Very Well Mind's "What happens after I die?"Maya Angelou's Poem "When I think of Death"Read the Poem "If you're not planning on going to heaven, go to Norway."Read the Poem "Your older self is begging you to enjoy right now"Read the Medium Post "What's worse than dying"Read Ebonee Davis' Tweet on "Trees Becoming Stronger"Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog.SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1667 || I'm not scared of dying, I'm afraid of not living.
11:35|My family has never been one to talk about death, we pretend it doesn't exist until it blindsides us and ruins our lives. But building this wall around the inevitable has created a feeling of deep fear around the entire subject.So, as I get older, and I am forced to face this reality more and more, I am beginning to realize that it's never been about my fear of "mortality" in and of itself, but my fears are in feeling like I never truly lived. To face my fear of death, I have to be willing to face my fear of living fully. Very Well Mind's "What happens after I die?"Maya Angelou's Poem "When I think of Death"Read the Poem "If you're not planning on going to heaven, go to Norway." Read the Poem "Your older self is begging you to enjoy right now"Read the Medium Post "What's worse than dying"Read Ebonee Davis' Tweet on "Trees Becoming Stronger" Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog.SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1666 || death is the room, not the elephant
10:25|“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” James Baldwin"Whatever goes up must come down." And here we are, at the center of the arc, trapped in the gaudiest, most valuable, and most improbable water wheel the world has ever seen. Everything now, we must assume, is in our hands; we have no right to assume otherwise.” James Baldwin“Life is tragic simply because the earth turns and the sun inexorably rises and sets, and one day, for each of us, the sun will go down for the last, last time. Perhaps the whole root of our trouble, the human trouble, is that we will sacrifice all the beauty of our lives, will imprison ourselves in totems, taboos, crosses, blood sacrifices, steeples, mosques, races, armies, flags, nations, in order to deny the fact of death, the only fact we have. It seems to me that one ought to rejoice in the fact of death — ought to decide, indeed, to earn one’s death by confronting with passion the conundrum of life. One is responsible for life: It is the small beacon in that terrifying darkness from which we come and to which we shall return. One must negotiate this as nobly as possible, for the sake of those who are coming after us. But white Americans do not believe in death, and this is why the darkness of my skin so intimidates them.” James Baldwin Baldwin's Book: The Fire Next TimeWikipedia for The Fire Next TimeAlok V. Menon Video "Death is the room"Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog.SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief FundGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBESUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.