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Make Your Damn Bed
1183 || a pep talk for the hopeless
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Tides change every day, and so can you. It’s never too late to change your scenery, to change your routine, to change your vibe, or change your perspective. You have some control, and even when you feel like you’ve lost it, I promise you, it’s within your grasp when you’re ready to pick up the reigns again.
I wrote a “healing handbook” a long time ago, and never finished it, but I wrote this as the opening:
WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING YOURSELF OUT OF A FUNK - START SMALL. BE PATIENT AND REMEMBER THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH TAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF. EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY AND THE LESS WE RESIST THE HARD FEELINGS THE SOONER WE CAN GET OUT ON TOP OF THEM AGAIN. SO BREATHE. TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS - THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE BECAUSE YOU ARE IN IT. I KNOW IT MAY NOT FEEL THAT WAY RIGHT NOW BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN YOUR CORNER, + WE ARE ROOTING FOR YOU. EVEN IF YOU CAN'T SEE US. WE'RE HERE. IT’S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER, THAT AS LONG AS YOU AREN'T HURTING YOURSELF OR OTHERS, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO GRIEVE HOWEVER YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE.
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU FOR FEELING THE WAY YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW. IT'S HUMAN. YOU'RE HUMAN.+ SOMETIMES BEING HUMAN REALLY FUCKIN' SUCKS. IT’S ALSO IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THIS ISN’T PERMANENT. THE TOXIC THOUGHTS THAT HAVE BEGUN TO CREEP IN WILL EBB IN TIME WITH A LITTLE REDIRECTION. THE HOPE YOU LOST WILL BEGIN. TO RETURN + LIFE WILL LIGHTEN BACK UP AGAIN. I KNOW IT DOESN'T FEEL THAT WAY NOW, BUT RESPITE IS COMING.
GO EASY ON YOURSELF IN THE MEANTIME. THIS REALLY SUCKS. THERE’S NO WAY AROUND IT. SUFFERING REALLY DOES FUCKING SUCK... BUT WITH TIME YOU'LL BEGIN TO HEAL. SLOWLY BUT SURELY, THE MAGIC WILL REAPPEAR AND YOU WILL BE GRATEFUL FOR THE VERSION OF YOU WHO STUCK THIS HARD PART OUT. SO KEEP STICKING IT OUT. YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE. YOU DESERVE TO FLOURISH. AND JUST LIKE YOU HAVE OVERCOME ALL THE SHIT BEFORE, YOU WILL ABSOLUTELY OVERCOME THIS SHIT, TOO. IT MAY ANNOY YOU TO HEAR BUT THERE'S NO DENYING THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A RESILIENT + POWERFUL BADASS. YOU AREN'T BROKEN, YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE BREAK. IF IT SUCKS, ALLOW IT TO SUCK, PROCESS IT AS IT IS SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY MOVE THE FUCK ON WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.
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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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1746 || the efficiency trap
09:30|“Modern industries thrive on offering convenience, eliminating “pain points” or “friction” from daily life. Uber, Apple Pay, and food delivery services smooth out mundane chores. However, this smoothness is a dubious virtue." When convenience drains an activity of its meaning, it becomes less valuable. Access the book, Four Thousand Weeks: https://www.oliverburkeman.com/fourthousandweeksThe synopsis of the book, here.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1745 || “how chill can I be while I do this?"
09:51|“You pity the moth for confusing a lamp for the moon but here you are confusing a screen for the world.” - JAY ALTO “The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day." - David Foster WallaceDavid Foster Wallace's "This is Water" Speech. Brad Stulberg's The Way of Excellence Substack. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1744 || your sign to do some arts + crafts (and go play)
09:53|We know that Breathwork, nourishment, sleep, and a safe environment regulate your nervous system. Play regulates your nervous system, too. Touch regulates your nervous system, sensory deprivation does too.Nature regulates your nervous system, so does being around community. Travel regulates your nervous system, and so does returning to your home. Routine can regulate your nervous system, and so can spontaneity. Both stillness and movement, sunlight and moonlight, predictability and novelty.It's nuanced and paradoxical and it's about you staying conscious and flexible. It's about embodying what you want to feel. I think the key is balancing what works. And if you’re alive, you’ve already been doing that. Maybe not healthily or sustainably, but you’ve been doing it. It’s never gonna be the easiest work, but you can make it easier. By relaxing into it. Letting everything become an experiment and only allowing your experience guide you, not trap you into thinking you can’t handle it differently. “There will always be more to do. The cleaning and laundry won’t stop. The inbox will refill. The to-do list will rewrite itself overnight. But your life isn’t just a series of tasks to complete. Go for the walk. Call your friend. Slow down without trying to optimize the moment. You dont need to clear your entire life before you’re allowed to feel ease. Because if that’s the rule, ease will never come. So learn to pause in the middle of it, not at the end of it.” - Vex King Watch the Eliza Day Video HereRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1743 || when to stop analyzing
10:58|The goal is conscious choices > conditioned responses. Our society bases it’s values on exploitation, violation, and extraction - and we’ve been letting that society convince us of what parts of ourselves are palatable, acceptable, and welcome. But we can’t depend on a broken society to share wisdom to make us less broken. You get to prove it’s safe to “decide” for yourself what parts of yourself are worth exploring and embodying and which are worth censoring. Rather than allowing society to decide the barriers for us. When you practice approaching the line in a safe circumstance, you are gradually restoring the ability to choose. Your agency is slowly seeping back into those cracks, with every new approach. Watch the Eliza Day Video HereRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1742 || future rehearsals
11:23|Don't forget to rehearse the best case scenario for every worst case scenario rehearsal. S - Stop! - Freeze! Your emotions may try to make you act without thinking. Stay in control! T - Take a step back! - Take a break. Let go. Take a breath. Reevaluate. O - Observe! - Notice what is going on inside and outside. What is the situation? What are your thoughts and feelings? What are others saying or doing?P - Proceed mindfully! - Act with awareness. Consider your thoughts and feelings, the situation, and other people’s thoughts and feelings. Think about your values and goals. Ask Wise Mind: Which actions will make it better or worse?Today's resource is accessible here. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1741 || take back the wheel
11:00|Make a commitment to drop your usual escape methods as soon as you notice yourself doing them, and redirect. Maybe that looks like doing the opposite action, or it could be something subtle you do mentally, or say out loud to yourself, or write down, or tell someone else about. Today's resource is accessible here and here. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1740 || practice not getting swept up
10:54|Practice, patience, and persistence is required to reinforce the neural pathways you'd rather reinforce. Some distress is unavoidable, and you are fully capable of dealing with distress. Balance improving + acceptance. When you feel yourself self soothing with something negative, redirect. Practice creating space between your immediate reaction and your actual response. Show your brain it's safe to practice new reactions. Today's resource is accessible here.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1739 || ride the wave
10:29|Coping with stress? No thanks. Avoiding stress? Yes please. I tend to use a combination platter of situational avoidance, numbing, reassurance seeking, over-planning, constant checking, and more! That said, it only creates more of a mess for me down the road.Something that has helped me sit with myself more honestly is to recognize that emotions and uncomfortable feelings come in waves. I can learn ways to ride them more joyfully, rather than trying to fight them or dodge them so terribly. The fear makes it worse. The avoidance makes the problem bigger. So I am learning to surf the waves through various options that depend on the context: Dive under and pop up refreshed and exhilarated. Body board or surf board (tools and resources available to make it fun) or Body surfing, trusting and allow the waves to guide you and you can bail when it’s no longer serving your journey. Today's resource is accessible here.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1738 || when discomfort feels impossible
09:46|The more we fear, struggle with, and try to avoid any form of distress, generally the worse that distress gets. Distress intolerance remains due to certain beliefs they have developed about experiencing negative emotions. These beliefs tend to centre on the notion that negative emotion is bad in some way, unbearable, unacceptable, or will lead to disastrous consequences. These beliefs tend to make any negative emotion that we may feel, become a highly distressing emotional experience. Today's resource is accessible here. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.