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Make Your Damn Bed
1183 || a pep talk for the hopeless
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Tides change every day, and so can you. It’s never too late to change your scenery, to change your routine, to change your vibe, or change your perspective. You have some control, and even when you feel like you’ve lost it, I promise you, it’s within your grasp when you’re ready to pick up the reigns again.
I wrote a “healing handbook” a long time ago, and never finished it, but I wrote this as the opening:
WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING YOURSELF OUT OF A FUNK - START SMALL. BE PATIENT AND REMEMBER THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH TAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF. EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY AND THE LESS WE RESIST THE HARD FEELINGS THE SOONER WE CAN GET OUT ON TOP OF THEM AGAIN. SO BREATHE. TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS - THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE BECAUSE YOU ARE IN IT. I KNOW IT MAY NOT FEEL THAT WAY RIGHT NOW BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN YOUR CORNER, + WE ARE ROOTING FOR YOU. EVEN IF YOU CAN'T SEE US. WE'RE HERE. IT’S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER, THAT AS LONG AS YOU AREN'T HURTING YOURSELF OR OTHERS, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO GRIEVE HOWEVER YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE.
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU FOR FEELING THE WAY YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW. IT'S HUMAN. YOU'RE HUMAN.+ SOMETIMES BEING HUMAN REALLY FUCKIN' SUCKS. IT’S ALSO IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THIS ISN’T PERMANENT. THE TOXIC THOUGHTS THAT HAVE BEGUN TO CREEP IN WILL EBB IN TIME WITH A LITTLE REDIRECTION. THE HOPE YOU LOST WILL BEGIN. TO RETURN + LIFE WILL LIGHTEN BACK UP AGAIN. I KNOW IT DOESN'T FEEL THAT WAY NOW, BUT RESPITE IS COMING.
GO EASY ON YOURSELF IN THE MEANTIME. THIS REALLY SUCKS. THERE’S NO WAY AROUND IT. SUFFERING REALLY DOES FUCKING SUCK... BUT WITH TIME YOU'LL BEGIN TO HEAL. SLOWLY BUT SURELY, THE MAGIC WILL REAPPEAR AND YOU WILL BE GRATEFUL FOR THE VERSION OF YOU WHO STUCK THIS HARD PART OUT. SO KEEP STICKING IT OUT. YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE. YOU DESERVE TO FLOURISH. AND JUST LIKE YOU HAVE OVERCOME ALL THE SHIT BEFORE, YOU WILL ABSOLUTELY OVERCOME THIS SHIT, TOO. IT MAY ANNOY YOU TO HEAR BUT THERE'S NO DENYING THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A RESILIENT + POWERFUL BADASS. YOU AREN'T BROKEN, YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE BREAK. IF IT SUCKS, ALLOW IT TO SUCK, PROCESS IT AS IT IS SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY MOVE THE FUCK ON WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.
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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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1838 || get out of your head + into your body
10:24|Uncertainty feels unbearable and can send us spiraling, keeping us trapped in our heads. It's important to get out of your head and into your body when this happens. THE SOURCES: https://gsas.harvard.edu/news/coping-uncertaintyhttps://creativemindspsychotherapy.com/2021/10/21/anxiety-happens-when-you-have-no-outlet-for-your-creativity/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1837 || dealing with uncertainty
09:31|Emilia Fart has a poem she published on her TikTok in which she said, “When desolate, empty, and inspiration barren, remember the apricot you’ll eat next august, juice running down your chin. Remember lying on your back getting grass stains on your boomers pissing the day away. Remember wiping crumbs of good bread and butter from the corners of your mouth and smirking from the delight. Remember that beyond the outer layers of fear and control at your core there is a cord. This cord can’t be eradicated can’t be shrunk. This cord is a knowing. A quiet understanding that you can trust yourself. That you are held. To be human is to free fall into a void. The more you connect with that cord the more your lips curl up as the wind whips past your cheeks down the rabbit hole. The less you need to scratch the walls trying to find a root to cling to. Learn to love with every particle and need with every inch and finally, let it all go when the time comes. Stop sinking. You can accept that you are falling.” Read the article from today's episode here. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1836 || letting karma happen vs. taking compassionate action
12:03|We can't ask karma to do compassion's job. Acceptance and action are meant to be utilized together. Learn to separate what must be accepted from what must be changed. Don't make victory a measure of your worth. THE SOURCE: https://blog.dharma-renaissance.org/philosophy/how-to-face-suffering-and-moral-crisis-through-dharma/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1835 || life is unfair so i choose not to be
10:07|Nature is indifferent to my interpretations of morality and justice. We humans tend to moralize everything, but not everything has a moral. Every ending doesn’t have to feel like a punishment for bad behavior. This means that some of the most painful things that have happened to you had absolutely nothing to do with your character. You didn’t make mistakes and fail and deserve some painful outcome. There is power in grieving when unfair things happen to you, but there is no use in blaming yourself or asking yourself what you could have done differently beyond acquiring some wisdom for the future. If I find myself taking things extra personally, I try to remind myself that the universe doesn’t work like that. Existence is confusing and chaotic and strange and unpredictable. When something bad happens it can be really easy to wonder why it happened. What we did to deserve it? Why everyone else seems to have it better and we are the target of such a painful reality? Nature doesn’t work in just or kind or loving ways. It happens because of countless factors coming together in a moment of chance. Some consider this luck, but I don’t think of luck as something some people have or don’t. Sometimes, the wrong place at the wrong time is enough to explain the why, and there is no grand moral story at the end. THE SOURCES: https://blog.dharma-renaissance.org/philosophy/how-to-face-suffering-and-moral-crisis-through-dharma/https://timeslife.com/life-hacks/why-do-good-people-suffer-bhagavad-gita-insights/articleshow/118564088.htmlRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1834 || we don't know what we don't know
11:14|You don't know what you don't know, but the curse is that you think you do. If we make a good choice that works out badly, we are often very harsh on ourselves for making that decision in the first place, even though the results are only obvious after the fact, we will still blame ourselves for not knowing the future. The hindsight bias pushes us to avoid risks, but it also brings undeserved rewards to irresponsible risk takers. We are all trying to see the world as a tidy, predictable, and coherent place, when it isn’t. Unfortunately, you can’t predict or control the future, no matter how lucky you are. THE SOURCES:Daniel Kahneman's Thinking Fast and Slowhttps://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Exploring_WorldviewsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1833 || lesson on evidence
11:27|Where might your current worldview be holding you back from the truth?THE SOURCES:https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Evaluating_Evidencehttps://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Virtues/Humility/Being_99.9%25_Ignoranthttps://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Exploring_WorldviewsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1832 || awe vs. focus
11:08|We shouldn't be seeking focus, we should be seeking reverence. Depth and fulfillment comes from awe. Our culture is obsessed with optimization, but that only disconnects us from our humanity. Focus keeps us. Reverence stops us in our tracks. Awe makes us more generous, loving, connected, patient, and abundant.Create space for awe by staying present and avoiding avoidance. SOURCES: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/awe-the-most-incredible-emotion-and-its-spectacular-effects/https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_do_we_feel_awehttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-the-right-words/202407/why-we-need-awe-and-8-ways-to-find-ithttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-behavior-behavioral-emotions/202608/awe-is-an-amazing-emotion-but-do-we-know-what-ithttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-circle-of-compassion/202608/the-opposite-of-distraction-is-not-focus-its-reverenceRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1831 || strategic anticipation
10:44|Our brains are future oriented and this can manifest into anxiety or anticipation if we're not strategic with it. Obviously, our current society has a lot of us focused on survival, which means most of our future thinking is filled with dread and hopelessness. This means we MUST deliberately create anticipation through planning small things that we can look forward to. Looking forward to something good releases feel-good hormones in our brains AND teaches our nervous systems that there is some good to be had and felt. It trains us to be more hopeful and nurtures an upward spiral, as opposed to the constant downward spiral most of us feel so stuck in. Planning a vacation is sometimes the only time you imagine yourself having a good, relaxed time, detached from work and everyday stressors, but you can imagine this without the vacation, and still reap the benefits. SOURCE: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/202607/the-art-of-anticipationRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1830 || curse of knowledge
11:02|Hindsight is 20/20, but understanding the person you used to be (without the knowledge you have now) is so damn hard. Give yourself some grace in the learning process. You're not stupid, you're learning. SOURCES: https://youtu.be/2y5NfYwoTeo?si=vyyHCtptsSH7zpcjhttps://verybigbrain.com/psychology-thinking/the-curse-of-knowledge-why-experts-struggle-to-explain-simple-things/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_knowledgeRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.