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Make Your Damn Bed
1163 || connecting through gift giving
It’s not about giving someone the world, it’s about making them feel like they are an important part of yours. Which means, it’s hard to do properly. It’s a ton of cognitive load to pay attention to, remember what, and constantly hunt for things with a perfect discernment. It’s really easy to fuck it up, and that’s okay too. I think,, fucks ups are easy to overlook if your intention is genuinely pure, and probably why we should be a little more socially conscious of the things people give to us.
I do also find it powerful to recognize that if you focus too much on the reaction, you’re losing sight of the purpose of gift giving altogether. You wanna give them something nice, not force them to smile.
Most people are just happy you thought of them at all, don’t overthink it if it’s becoming stressful, just lean into your first instincts, or do what I do, ask around and get some ideas for fan favorites, and again, so many people are just happy to get a gift, it doesn’t matter if it’s prolonged eye contact. That’s how attention starved so many of us are.
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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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1834 || we don't know what we don't know
11:14|You don't know what you don't know, but the curse is that you think you do. If we make a good choice that works out badly, we are often very harsh on ourselves for making that decision in the first place, even though the results are only obvious after the fact, we will still blame ourselves for not knowing the future. The hindsight bias pushes us to avoid risks, but it also brings undeserved rewards to irresponsible risk takers. We are all trying to see the world as a tidy, predictable, and coherent place, when it isn’t. Unfortunately, you can’t predict or control the future, no matter how lucky you are. THE SOURCES:Daniel Kahneman's Thinking Fast and Slowhttps://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Exploring_WorldviewsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1833 || lesson on evidence
11:27|Where might your current worldview be holding you back from the truth?THE SOURCES:https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Evaluating_Evidencehttps://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Virtues/Humility/Being_99.9%25_Ignoranthttps://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Exploring_WorldviewsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1832 || awe vs. focus
11:08|We shouldn't be seeking focus, we should be seeking reverence. Depth and fulfillment comes from awe. Our culture is obsessed with optimization, but that only disconnects us from our humanity. Focus keeps us. Reverence stops us in our tracks. Awe makes us more generous, loving, connected, patient, and abundant.Create space for awe by staying present and avoiding avoidance. SOURCES: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/awe-the-most-incredible-emotion-and-its-spectacular-effects/https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_do_we_feel_awehttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-the-right-words/202407/why-we-need-awe-and-8-ways-to-find-ithttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-behavior-behavioral-emotions/202608/awe-is-an-amazing-emotion-but-do-we-know-what-ithttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-circle-of-compassion/202608/the-opposite-of-distraction-is-not-focus-its-reverenceRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1831 || strategic anticipation
10:44|Our brains are future oriented and this can manifest into anxiety or anticipation if we're not strategic with it. Obviously, our current society has a lot of us focused on survival, which means most of our future thinking is filled with dread and hopelessness. This means we MUST deliberately create anticipation through planning small things that we can look forward to. Looking forward to something good releases feel-good hormones in our brains AND teaches our nervous systems that there is some good to be had and felt. It trains us to be more hopeful and nurtures an upward spiral, as opposed to the constant downward spiral most of us feel so stuck in. Planning a vacation is sometimes the only time you imagine yourself having a good, relaxed time, detached from work and everyday stressors, but you can imagine this without the vacation, and still reap the benefits. SOURCE: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/202607/the-art-of-anticipationRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1830 || curse of knowledge
11:02|Hindsight is 20/20, but understanding the person you used to be (without the knowledge you have now) is so damn hard. Give yourself some grace in the learning process. You're not stupid, you're learning. SOURCES: https://youtu.be/2y5NfYwoTeo?si=vyyHCtptsSH7zpcjhttps://verybigbrain.com/psychology-thinking/the-curse-of-knowledge-why-experts-struggle-to-explain-simple-things/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_knowledgeRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1829 || avoiding disappointment in relationships
10:50|The squeaky wheel gets the grease. THE SOURCES:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/202608/why-people-disappoint-us-in-relationshipshttps://psychology-spot.com/cognitive-miser-definitionhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_misehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streetlight_effectRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1828 || the thinking trap
12:22|A policeman sees a drunk man searching for something under a streetlight and asks what the drunk has lost. He says he lost his keys and they both look under the streetlight together. After a few minutes the policeman asks if he is sure he lost them here, and the drunk replies, no, and that he lost them in the park. The policeman asks why he is searching here, and the drunk replies, "this is where the light is". THE SOURCES:https://psychology-spot.com/cognitive-miser-definition/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_miserhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streetlight_effectRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1827 || cognitive misers
09:51|the human brain doesn't prefer to expend extra cognitive effort, it will always take a shortcut, where possible. the less you analyze this reality, the more likely you are to fall into "cognitive laziness" which can reinforce stereotypes and keep us trapped in limiting world views. THE SOURCES: https://psychology-spot.com/cognitive-miser-definition/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_miserRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1826 || how to forgive (what the science says)
09:20|Forgiveness is not an all-or-nothing process. You can partially release by choosing to stop ruminating, and even if you don’t feel entirely at peace yet, it is important to recognize that you have made meaningful progress. Every step you take away from feeling resentment is a step toward your sense of freedom. - Kinga Mnich, PhD 1. Know exactly what you are forgiving2. Commit to forgiving for your own benefit3. Separate the person from the act4. Release unenforceable rules5. Redirect your energy toward your own lifeTHE SOURCE:https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-forgiveness/https://www.neurologylive.com/view/neurobiology-forgivenesshttps://www.simplypsychology.com/articles/forgiveness-psychology-scienceRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.