Share

cover art for Could A.I. find you a spouse? Maiden Mother Matriarch 176

Maiden Mother Matriarch with Louise Perry

Could A.I. find you a spouse? Maiden Mother Matriarch 176

Give the gift of everyday luxury and make every moment comfortable. Head

to cozyearth.com and use my code COZYMMM for 20% off sitewide. And if you

get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth at the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast.


I know that there are many people listening to this podcast right now who truly and sincerely want to get married, but can't find the right person. They've done the usual things – they've tried the apps, they've tried going to church, they've asked their friends to set them up. These strategies aren't futile – we all know plenty of people who met their spouses in this way – but they're not a guarantee, either. 


If we've learnt anything from the social experiment of the sexual revolution, it's that matchmaking is a difficult coordination problem. Earlier this year, I interviewed Christiana Maxion, a professional matchmaker who takes a very intuitive approach to her work. Today, I'm joined by someone who comes at the problem in a very different way. 


Geoffrey Miller is an evolutionary psychologist, an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of New Mexico, and the author of books including 'The Mating Mind' (2001) and 'Mating Intelligence' (2008). He's also the Chief Science Advisor to a dating platform that claims to be able to match people based on A.I. analysis of reams of data. Things like IQ tests, personality tests, and demographic factors like age and socioeconomic status. Geoffrey believes that this non-intuitive approach to matchmaking is the way to bring happy couples together. 


Today we speak about the science, and also the issue of expectations. What is it reasonable to want in a spouse? How can single people set themselves up to win in the marriage market? And what role should we give to other people – parents or siblings, for instance – in the process of matchmaking? 


Discussed in the show:

More episodes

View all episodes

  • The anguish of girls | Maiden Mother Matriarch 183

    01:07:34|
    Give the gift of everyday luxury and make every moment comfortable. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code COZYMMM for 20% off sitewide. And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth at the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast.Teenage anxiety isn’t a new thing. Our mothers and grandmothers also worried about beauty, and friendships, and boys.What is new, however, is the role of technology in teenage anxiety. We see an inflection point in the early 2010s: a sudden drop in mental wellbeing among teenagers, particularly girls. The beginning of that drop coincided with the arrival of image-based social media like Instagram.My guest today argues that this was not a coincidence. Freya India is the author of the Substack GIRLS, where she writes about the challenges girls and young women face in the modern world. She’s also a staff writer for Jonathan Haidt’s newsletter, After Babel.Her new book is about the ways in which communication technology has given us a world in which teenage girls end up commodifying themselves – selling their lives on social media, advertising themselves on dating apps, and packaging themselves into personal brands. All at the cost of their own sanity.
  • Victorian attitudes towards death

    20:45|
    In this bonus episode, I spoke with Stone Age Herbalist about an essay he recently published on Victorian attitudes towards death. We discussed the cultural impact of Jack the Ripper, the terror of body snatching, the practice of postmortem photography, and the Spiritualist movement's preoccupation with electricity.  Discussed in the episode:'How The Victorians Eroticised Death, From Ophelia To Salome'More on the anatomical venus More on body snatching and Georgia Medical College
  • The Case for Nepotism | Maiden Mother Matriarch 182

    01:21:30|
    Give the gift of everyday luxury and make every moment comfortable. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code COZYMMM for 20% off sitewide. And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth at the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast.The word 'meritocracy' was originally intended as a pejorative. It was coined in a 1958 novel written by the British social scientist Michael Young. In the dystopia that Young imagined, the old order has been overthrown and replaced with a tyrannical system obsessed with merit. Today's guest not only joins Young in his critique of meritocracy, he also takes a further bold step in endorsing some extremely old fashioned ideas about wealth, family, and legacy. In an age when celebrities routinely boast about their plans to disinherit their children and leave them to fend for themselves financially, Johann Kurtz makes a counter-cultural argument for nepotism. Do not give your money to charity, he says. Do not encourage your children to launch themselves into the meritocratic rat race. Learn, instead, from the ancient practices of aristocrats who had very different ideas about how to cultivate virtue in their descendants. Kurtz is the author of the 'Becoming Noble' Substack. His new book is titled 'Leaving a Legacy: Inheritance, Charity, & Thousand-Year Families.'Discussed in the show: 'Leaving a Legacy'Stress induced by downward social mobility'Good Money' podcast seriesSurvey on attitudes towards grandchildren'Toxic Charity''Revolt of the Elites'MMM is sponsored by 321 - a new online introduction to Christianity, presented by former MMM guest Glen Scrivener. Check it out for free at 321course.com/MMM. Just enter your email, choose a password and you’re in — there’s no spam and no fees. 
  • Mr. Bean Authoritarianism

    21:05|
    In this bonus episode, Ed West and I spoke about the mode of British governance that is simultaneously sinister and farcical, from the recent 'Prevent video game' to the police horses sent to re-education because they wouldn't walk over rainbow pedestrian crossings.Discussed in this episode: Conservatives are more accurate in describing the beliefs of liberals"Met police hired black child rapist to boost diversity""Met urges Epping migrant sex offender to hand himself in""The Birmingham Maccabi scandal proves multiculturalism has failed"Garrett Jones book on migration and culture"UAE cuts funds for students keen to study in UK ‘over fears campuses radicalised by Islamist groups'"
  • Taking the culture war seriously | Maiden Mother Matriarch 181

    01:18:56|
    Give the gift of everyday luxury and make every moment comfortable. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code COZYMMM for 20% off sitewide. And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth at the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast.My guest today is George Owers, historian and author of a new book, 'The Rage of Party: How Whig Versus Tory Made Modern Britain.' Owers traces our contemporary culture war back to the end of the seventeenth century, when the conflict between Whigs and Tories was the central drama of English politics. One side was isolationist, opposed to immigration, and preferred a small state. The other was open to the rest of the world, and had ambitious plans for tax rises and state expansion. The two sides differed on the role of religion in public life, and on which ideas and symbols ought to be considered sacred. Does any of this sound familiar? Owers argues that we are still seeing this drama play out, not just in England but across the Anglosphere. Our political conflicts are still theological conflicts, and they are surpassingly important. 
  • The nature of women's activism

    20:25|
    In this bonus episode, RobHenderson and I discussed the shooting of Renee Good and the role of women in political activism. Discussed in the episode:My WSJ column on Mamdani and communism. Paper on infant psychology and egalitarianism. Amy Chua book on violence against market-dominant minorities. Emmeline Pankhurst photo
  • Work fit for a goddess | Maiden Mother Matriarch Episode 180

    01:07:18|
    Give the gift of everyday luxury and make every moment comfortable. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code COZYMMM for 20% off sitewide. And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth at the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast. "So powerful, in fact, is simple string in taming the world to human will and ingenuity that I suspect it to be the unseen weapon that allowed the human race to conquer the earth." That's a quote from 'Women's Work: The First 20,000 Years', Elizabeth Wayland Barber's landmark contribution to archeology, recently re-published in the form of a 30th anniversary edition. Wayland-Barber argues that the creation of string, and later of weaving, was one of the most crucial innovations in human history. And it was the work of women. Up until really very recently in human history, the creation of textiles was an extraordinarily time consuming and important aspect of women's daily lives. If we had not undergone the 'string revolution', we would not have been able to keep ourselves warm in cold weather, to use textiles for hunting, and to develop various complex tools essential for human survival. It's no wonder that spinning and weaving have such a central role in mythology. Today we examine the ancient connection between spinning thread and creating life. For ad-free and bonus episodes of the Maiden Mother Matriarch podcast go to louiseperry.substack.com. 
  • The wisdom of looksmaxxing

    18:42|
    In this bonus episode, Meghan Murphy and I discussed the online community of young men making every effort to improve their appearances.Discussed in the episode:Clavicular in conversation with Michael KnowlesOlly Murs photosDocumentary on sperm donor, ‘The Man with 1000 Kids’
  • The age that abandoned reason | Maiden Mother Matriarch Episode 179

    01:18:34|
    The Medieval period is sometimes described as the ‘Age of Faith.’ This was a world in which the church dominated every area of life and it was almost impossible to think outside of Christianity.It was succeeded, of course, by the ‘Age of Reason’, a period in which Enlightenment thinkers placed an extremely high premium on rational inquiry.Which era are we living in now? Robert P. George suggests that we have entered an ‘Age of Feelings’, in which people derive their beliefs from emotion, which is now understood as the central source of truth.He makes this case in his new book, ‘Seeking Truth and Speaking Truth: Law and Morality in Our Cultural Moment.’ Robert P. George is a highly esteemed legal scholar and political philosopher, once described in The New York Times as America’s “most influential conservative Christian thinker.” Today we discuss faith, reason, abortion, same sex marriage, repaganisation, and more.MMM is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Get a 40% discount at cozyearth.com/maiden or use the code COZYMMM, and in the post-purchase survey let them know you came from the podcast!