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The Luke and Pete Show

Prostates and pensions

Pete recoils as Luke shares the news of a group of Yorkshire men who’ve met for a pint every week for 56 years – reigniting Pete’s infamous commitment issues. Meanwhile, Luke is left baffled by how anyone could forget the name of a book they’re currently reading.


And if that’s not enough, brace yourselves for the main event: Donny treats you to the unparalleled thrill of a live nose hair trim. Yep, you heard that right.


Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram.


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More episodes

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  • AI Slop Pardons

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  • Playing baseball with turkeys

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    Welcome back to an all-new episode of the Luke and Pete Show! This time around the lads spend more time than planned on Jamie Oliver, including the truly quaint Turkey Twizzlers incident of 2005. There's also Halloween chat, pirate accents and their origin and Pete forgetting who Greta Thunberg is.And, the question on everyone's lips is answered - is the Battery Robot getting fed today? All in all, it's classic LAPS fodder. Don't miss it! You can also get involved by emailing us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.
  • Chinese Takeaway with a Sex Worker

    34:05|
    In a development that will surprise absolutely no-one, Pete went into The City for a night out and was propositioned by a sex worker. Unfortunately for all concerned, his small talk made the situation considerably worse. And there’s more bad news - the bin situation in Leigh-on-Sea is out of control! And, what’s more, council are taunting local residents about it!Elsewhere there’s good news for short kings everywhere because the lads find time to appoint a new official leg lengthener of LAPS. Form an orderly queue to be 6ft tall, everyone!You can also get involved by emailing us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.
  • Arise, Battery Robot!

    28:51|
    Bad news everyone: Peter has been sealing his car and now he absolutely stinks. No matter what he tries, he can't get the stink off. Luke tries to take his mind off of it by telling him the story about how the Israelis captured Adolf Eichmann. Does it work? Not really.Elsewhere, the lads ruminate on the logistics of having an entirely different and secret extra family, before introducing their newest addition to the Luke and Pete Show community, Battery Robot! Who is he (presumably it's a he)? What is he like? And what does he have for his dinner? Tune in to find out...You can also get involved by emailing us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.
  • Sodden on the South Coast

    29:00|
    Today we hear all about Luke's experience of the 2025 Great South Run. 10 miles of sheer hell in biblically bad conditions, he nonetheless just about survived to tell the tale. Pete is baffled as to why anyone would even try to run that far anyway, obviously.Elsewhere, a listener discovers a neighbour with a Remembrance Day-theme doorbell, of all things, and our eponymous hosts also ruminate on why no-one seems to care about Covid anymore. You can also get involved by emailing us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.
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  • This Isn't a Prank

    27:06|
    The lesson to take from today's episode is that algorithms will be the death of us all. And what's more, no-one even seems to care. Luke and Pete discuss that, as well as the radicalisation of people they have worked with that used to be normal, before getting stuck into an amazing email about a prank that wasn't actually a prank. You can also get involved by emailing us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.
  • Dysfunctional Breathing

    37:27|
    Pete visits a notable lungman about his wreck of a body. Will he get the answers he so desperately needs? Will he get a new inhaler? And, more importantly, will the doctor peg him?Despite all of his various ailments, Donny has also found the time to go out on the piss with our mate Vish, and he thinks getting a few beers inside him has probably helped to make him feel better as well. One thing that hasn't made him feel better though is the fact that his daughter is calling every other man apart from him Daddy. Oh dear.You can also get involved by emailing us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com! You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.