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The Luke and Pete Show
Creating a Human Flute
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Are we living in an entirely new societal system? There's plenty of evidence to suggest we are. And it's called The Peteriarchy. But how many Petes are in charge, and who are they?
Also on your all-new LAPS episode, Luke meets the only person in Britain that doesn't know where the Gallagher brothers are from, we lament the lack of Rocket From the Crypt in everyone's lives, and Pete delivers his treatise on how to perform a tracheotomy. Warning: it's not for the faint hearted.
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Drinking is the Abraham
30:47|Pete might have cracked the code to weight loss, everyone. But will the solution give him bad pumps? Only time will tell. Elsewhere on today’s episode, the guys reminisce/have flashbacks about the time Pete was rescued by a lifeguard named Abraham and Luke brings a meat shower to the table. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.Mongo the Chimpfluencer
30:49|Cryptids. Ever heard of them? Well, they get everywhere. Including Hartlepool, it turns out. Today’s edition of the Luke and Pete show moves from the cryptozoological to the regular kind of zoological when chimpanzees become the focus of the discussion. Trigger warning: includes details of a brutal real-life chimp attack. This is not one for the squeamish. But there’s a nice chaser in store: Pete’s “sexy” MSN pranks.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.Wild Moldovan Dogs
29:16|Pete’s been off on his holidays again, this time to Moldova and the breakaway republic of Transnistria. And he didn’t even get as pissed as he could have.Staying on the theme of states and nations, Luke and Peter touch on the war in the Middle East and how certain Dubai residents have reacted to it.And on an entirely different note, there’s a good amount of potty training chat. Truly something for everybody in this episode.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.The House You Can Aggressively Have Access To
30:42|Luke is in the purgatory of British house-buying — a process his Wife He Has Access To finds baffling when you can apparently just kick a door in and claim land in Connecticut. Plus, Pete has been dragged into a six-quid Vinted dispute over some trousers that were definitely brown in the photo and has emerged victorious, slightly guilty, heartfelt hospital stories and a new genre of music called Egg Punk — *basically* as it sounds.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.Chess and Chest Presses
35:21|Welcome, intrepid podcast traveller - good to have you with us. Let Pete regale you with tales of a near-death experience involving a 25-minute walk, getting a blister while dodging a man carrying a slab of MDF, and fancifully thinking about taking up boxing. We've all been there.Elsewhere, Luke continues to beat Pete at chess and will not let him forget it. Plus, retro video games we'll never finish, debating whether Pete Hegseth's bench press is impressive and Luke witnessing a catastrophically cringe question asked in front of a thousand people. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.Obama’s Extraterrestrials
26:37|A former US President said that aliens exist! More on this story right here on LAPS. In other news, Battery Robot has returned to the fold, Luke’s getting into chess and Tommy Robinson is still a horrible grifter.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.Something Fishy About the Biscuits
30:30|Happy Monday everyone. What better way to start the week than with some allegorical analysis of 1986’s Top Gun? Also on today’s menu: framemogging, Sci-Fi literature, hot tamales and, crucially, supermarket biscuits. Pete reckons this thing goes all the way to the top.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.The Ice Have It
35:32|On today’s episode, Luke and Pete contend with some of the grim realities of the ruling classes on both sides of the pond. In unfortunate news for Peter, a truly dreadful man shares his passion for the Toyota Century.There’s also some ice bath chat, a big battery submission and a brief look back at Pete’s dating history.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.The Happy Promptman
32:02|On the agenda today: Maxïmo Park, tight trousers and the appendages they disguise (or don’t disguise) and the astonishing number of famous people produced by one small Scottish town.Plus, we have a look at a beautiful radio owned by Luke’s grandad and find out what Pete’s father makes of AI.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.